pale.emperor

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Posts by pale.emperor

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  36

  This week's WT study article "Keep on the Watch" - the latest dumb article from the Gang That Couldn't Think Straight

  by sir82 in

  1. watchtower
  2. bible

  ok so this week's wt study article is entitled "why must we keep on the watch?"..

  it is filled with statements on the importance of "being watchful" for the beginning of the "great tribulation".

  paragraph 2: “keep looking, keep awake, for you do not know when the appointed time is.”after that, jesus admonished them repeatedly: “keep on the watch.”.

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  pale.emperor

  I remember the following statements from when i was a kid:

  "You'll never start high school in this system". - Started high school in 1996.

  "You'll never graduate high school in this system" - graduated in 2011.

  "You'll never reach 25 in this system" - im now 31.

  Needless to say, the JW's my age who left when the getting was good have since went back to college and managed to fashion a career in this "the last days of a rotten and dying system". Good thing we didnt leave later in our lives or we'd be screwed.
  
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  17

  Lots of weirdos among the jw's

  by wannaexit in

  1. jw
  2. friends

  i found this little jem this morning .

  it's a little dated but describes the self-proclaimed jesus of nazareth by the name of a.j miller.

  he was raised in the jw religion and was also an elder and pioneer.

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  pale.emperor

  #9 is just wierd!

  I know. She makes no secret that she's still sexually active with her husband. I guess he's been having a go on them, keeping the milk "on tap".
  
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  17

  Lots of weirdos among the jw's

  by wannaexit in

  1. jw
  2. friends

  i found this little jem this morning .

  it's a little dated but describes the self-proclaimed jesus of nazareth by the name of a.j miller.

  he was raised in the jw religion and was also an elder and pioneer.

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  pale.emperor

  THE PALE EMPERORS TOP TEN JEHOVAH'S WITNESS WEIRDO MOMENTS:

  1. Elder in another congregation keeping a spare white shirt in the back room on a hangar in case (horror of horrors) the visiting speaker turned up wearing a non white shirt.

  2. An elder getting offended because, during the post circuit assembly cleanup, a sister on the cleaning team asked if he would mind vacuuming the carpet. (A woman telling man... an ELDER what to do?!!) He went ape shit on her.

  3. My ex-wife's baptism card, some elderly African brother had written "congratulations! But know this, Satan is coming for you! Keep on the watch."

  4. A 70+ year old sister regularly wearing clothes a 17yo girl would wear to the Kingdom Hall.

  5. On the ministry (or service as you Americans call it) and old sister would knock on the windows with her walking stick and shout "i know you're there!" if they didn't answer.

  6. An elder pretending to fall over the microphone wire before the meeting started, just so he could make an announcement about health and safety during the meeting.

  7. A brother who boasted that he had 180 return visits... that have been return visits since 1972. They're obviously just being polite and taking and binning the magazines.

  8. Fixing an elders PC. His email inbox was full of "Latina Lovers" and "Bangbros" sign up confirmation emails. I never mentioned it.

  9. A 60yo sister asking my wife if she'd mind if she could breastfeed our newborn baby.

  10. A woman reading in an Awake! magazine that caffeine can be addictive. She dropped to her knees and yelled "forgive me Jehovah!" - it turns out this woman likes coffee and now believes it's a sin like tobacco.
  
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  17

  Lots of weirdos among the jw's

  by wannaexit in

  1. jw
  2. friends

  i found this little jem this morning .

  it's a little dated but describes the self-proclaimed jesus of nazareth by the name of a.j miller.

  he was raised in the jw religion and was also an elder and pioneer.

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  pale.emperor

  i LOVE this guy!!

  I've seen him before when i was still in. His partner believes she's Mary Magdeline as well.

  I dont know whether he really believes his is or he's conning his followers but, my word, he's doing a sterling job - he's already got followers and i seen a vid where he debated a Mormon.

  Complete bullshit obviously but it just goes to show how deluded people can be.
  
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  82

  meeting with elders about WT involvement in UN

  by LevelThePlayingField in

  1. watchtower
  2. scandals

  i still go to the meetings because of my in wife and it came about that the elders knew of my pissed off attitude about the society getting involved in the un.

  so the elders said they could help me get over that and wanted to meet with me.

  now just to let you know, i have only told my wife and her mom so far about it, that's it.

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  pale.emperor

  He said that now a days, even people who point to articles like a 1972 WT or something is, No we don't even consider that anymore. He said that anything we need is online, meaning the Watchtower on line library from 2000 onward, and the WT library CD ROM is being outdated.

  So our parents and grandparents were apostates? So "the truth" that was being printed prior to 2000 wasn't in fact "the truth"? Were we being lied to?

  Jehovah keeps feeding them false information, in that case they're no more reliable than the average guy on the street.
  
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  34

  Does it not dawn on the cart witnesses?

  by jambon1 in

  1. jw
  2. friends

  i sat in town recently, right in the window of a nice wee pub.

  within minutes i realised that i had a perfect view of a jw cart and the two ridiculously dressed jw's (they have absolutely no individuality at all.

  what's more, they all look like they're going to a funeral).

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  pale.emperor

  All of my still-in family do cart witnessing and see it as a real honour, privilege and sign the God is directing the organisation. However, only certain ones are allowed to do cart witnessing. I don't know what the requirements are but they all thought I had a bad attitude when I was in and I used to say I'd never want to do cart witnessing.

  I remember my ministry says, I used to openly make jokes about the fact that we all secretly hope no one opens the door. I got "feather knocking" down to a fine art. One time I worked with a brother younger than me (I was about 28, he was 19) and he knocked REALLY loud, to which I jokingly said "shh! they'll hear you!"... he was horrified and said "they're supposed to hear us!"

  Then he told an elder that I said that.

  Happy times
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  54

  where have the demons gone?

  by aboveusonlysky in

  1. jw
  2. friends

  does anybody remember some of the sensational demon stories jw's would tell back in the day?

  i was a kid in the early 80's and i remember a few times hearing of people having real life encounters with demons.

  for example, one sister claimed that before she became a jdub she would regularly talk to demons and they would even fix stuff like her washing machine!

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  pale.emperor

  Ahh yes i've heard many many many of these stories growing up. Strangely enough the same story by different people in different parts of the country that all happened to "their mothers friend" or "their sisters, grandmothers, daughters, friend".

  My favourites include:

  1) One brother bought a calendar from a Chinese store. He didn't know what the Chinese characters said but that night i lay paralised in bed. He was pinned down by a demon! - (Actually, in the medical world this is a common phenomenon known as "sleep paralysis" where part of your brain is still sleeping).

  2) One brother bought a picture frame from a second hand shop. He put a photo in there and hung it on the wall. The next day the frame was on the floor with the picture no longer in the frame!

  3) One sister was difellowshipped and all the time she was disfellowshipped she heard demons talking to her. She called an elder who flatly refused to have anything to do with it. She once even claimed to have been raped by a demon - (The fact that this sister is a paranoid schizophrenic isn't mentioned though). She's reinstated now and still attends meetings. Brings all kinds of weird shit to the hall like old broken dolls and clocks that dont work.

  4) Lets not forget that one we've all heard all around the world about a woman that went on the ministry on her own, knocked on a rapist/murderers door and wasnt touched because the guy could see two big fellas next to her. Obviously angels. My favourite version of this was when an old man re-told it in my old congregation during the Watchtower discussion. He said "...he said he saw two big black men either side of her". Why he felt the need to mention their skin colour is beyond me.

  Even when i was in, i used to say to JW's that believed this shit "if i were a demon, with all that power and knowledge i wouldnt be using it to open and close doors, put backward messages in music or hide in a second hand shirt - i would MESS YOU UP."

  Needless to say, it didnt go down well.
  
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  7

  It's all about the publisher card

  by Chook in

  1. watchtower
  2. beliefs

  i got thinking ,which at times can seem erratic , it's the publisher cards that should of rung the loudest bell !

  i still can't believe i fell for believing early christianity had some writing reports to the apostles.

  wt legalisms are their foundation of the church..

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  pale.emperor

  Makes you wonder, if the reason we used to count hours was purely for statistical reasons why did we have to put our names on it?

  I even had one elder screw up my report and toss it on the floor in front of me because it was less than usual.
  
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  58

  Reading The Bible Again After Leaving

  by pale.emperor in

  1. watchtower
  2. bible

  at the moment i dont beleive in anything.

  im pretty much an open book, but my critical mind is very alert to bullshit.

  but anyway i decided to re-read the bible with a non jw filter.. i researched online first which is supposed to be the best translation out there.

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  pale.emperor

  This Jehovah sounds like a right bastard.

  In that case I say fuck him.
  
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  58

  Reading The Bible Again After Leaving

  by pale.emperor in

  1. watchtower
  2. bible

  at the moment i dont beleive in anything.

  im pretty much an open book, but my critical mind is very alert to bullshit.

  but anyway i decided to re-read the bible with a non jw filter.. i researched online first which is supposed to be the best translation out there.

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  pale.emperor

  At the moment i dont beleive in anything. Im pretty much an open book, but my critical mind is very alert to bullshit. But anyway i decided to re-read the bible with a non JW filter.

  I researched online first which is supposed to be the best translation out there. According to the vast majority of scholars the NRSV is supposed to be the best. I actually have a quite a collection Bible translations anyway and it was in there.

  So i opened it at a random book, 1 Corinthians. I started reading and batted away all of the JW indoctrination which whispered "he means only the anointed in this verse" or "he means every non JW in this verse" or "he means you in this verse" etc.

  I must say i came away with a completely different understanding. It was like a new book. Even though I've read 1 Corinthians many times before.

  When it got to the part about "purge the evil one from among you" i did get a pang of "does he mean disfellowshipping?". Im going to research that further.

  Im not going to jump back into Christianity or anything but i must say reading it and going with what it actually says rather than what the WT says it says was rather refreshing.