Hi Jrjw
Lets get something very clear... you're describing an abusive relationship.
This man is abusing you, maybe not physically, but mentally and emotionally. A marriage, or even a partnership, is two people respecting each other and taking their needs into account. He isn't doing that. He's looking for a woman, a person to have sex with, an emotional punchbag - and to top it all you're both in a religion that lives by ancient Hebrew laws that are stacked in the mans favor. How dare he say you cant separate because you have no grounds!
You are a woman. You are strong, capable and intelligent - dont let any man or organization tell you you're anything less.
Unfortunately you're experiencing first hand that Jehovah's Witnesses wont even entertain the idea of divorce unless one of you commit adultery.
I know exactly what you're going through. My ex-wife has severe OCD and she hid it until we married. My 8 years of marriage was a living hell. Very much like what you've described here. The congregation would assume i was treating her bad when in fact i couldn't have been any kinder. I was being used and my kindness taken advantage of.
I'll PM you. But first things first, realize that his behavior is unacceptable, and if it's affecting your daughters mental health too then do you really want to raise her around such a person? Mental/emotional abuse is grounds for separation. And if you get professionals involved like a woman's shelter or therapists the Watchtower Society will likely back off from any judicial action.