Heartsafire

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Posts by Heartsafire

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  20

  How many here are married to (still In) Jay Dubs? Any tips or advice for keeping the marriage going?

  by NikL in

  1. jw
  2. friends

  if you are, you know it is not easy to remain intimate with someone who thinks you are basically "walking dead".. any thoughts or tips to share with the board?.

  what has been the greatest issue for your marriage?.

  need to vent?.

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  Heartsafire

  My husband is totally in and I'm faded. When I first learned ttatt I made the mistake of trying to share it with him. All hell broke loose, and I ended up sleeping in the guest room for nearly a year.

  As I learned more, I allowed myself the freedom to be my authentic self. The nagging, insecure, perfectionistic wife my husband had always known vanished. Without the JW fog I have the peace that comes with focusing on who and what is truly important to me. I am a much happier, calmer, supportive wife today. My husband realizes this, and so he respectfully does not push me to attend meetings like he used to, and he has been missing quite a few himself as of late.

  What irks me the most about our situation is that I am learning so much now that I'm out and I can't share it with him. I love listening to political debates or reading about the latest discoveries in science. I want to go and do things--explore and travel. He wants none of it. I have to keep this enthusiasm all bottled up.

  Also, I have to avoid saying anything negative about the org. He listens very closely when I say anything about the meetings or org to see if I am hinting at a potential trigger for him. Infuriating!
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  44

  I appreciate "our" free speech.

  by The Rebel in

  1. jw
  2. friends

  i had given serious consideration too leaving the board.

  i rationalised my views on " muslims" we're not held by the majority so i should leave.

  but this would have been wrong thinking, instead i should appreciate the platform i was given to debate with free speech.

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  Heartsafire

  I'm happy to hear you are sticking around.

  Differing viewpoints add flavor to any discussion, and I couldn't agree with you more on free speech...so take that, WT.
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  38

  How can angels be sexually attracted to women?

  by Island Man in

  1. watchtower
  2. beliefs

  the nephilim account in genesis is utterly ridiculous when you consider that angels are sex-less beings and would therefore lack sex-drive and romantic attraction.

  think of how difficult it is for humans with a sex drive to be sexually attracted to animals.

  now take away that sex drive and it becomes literally impossible.

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  Heartsafire

  How can angels be attracted to women?

  Cuz boobs. *mic drop*

  Ok, ok. I'm assuming this question is hypothetical and you are aware that most stories within the Bible are not historically accurate and some texts are Jewish fables that teach lessons in morality and whatnot. That being the case, yes, it is far fetched that an angel would "materialize" a body (funny the WT says materialized and not created because that is what it would actually be...creating a living breathing thing) and then these angels in mansuits would marry tons of earth dwelling women just to make powerful, Demi-god babies. Hmmmm...sounds like some other stories I know of. Pagan ones.
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  49

  JW Wife not listening

  by rathernotsay in

  1. jw
  2. friends

  hey guys, looking for some advice with what to do with my jw wife that is simply ignoring my wishes/demands.

  first a little back story, we have been married for 6 years and have 3 children together.

  she is a jw, and i am not (nor do i have any religious beliefs).

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  Heartsafire

  Hi there. Since you have the elder's number, feel free to contact him and let him know what is going on. Explain your situation exactly as you described it on the forum--that you aren't against her activities, but it is too great a hardship on your family to have your wife pioneer, and you can also explain the disrespectful behavior she has been displaying towards you. If he has been helpful to you in the past, he may ask her to step down from pioneering, or possibly do a smaller amount of preaching work. He also may counsel her on her disrespect of you. Normally going this route isn't helpful, but in your case, you need to fight fire with fire.

  Someone suggested professional counseling and I say go for it--if you can drag her into there. Good luck.
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  34

  Finally ready to join the crowd.

  by Silent Knight in

  1. jw
  2. friends

  hello, all you damn dirty apostates!

  please, allow me to join this community of diseased minds.

  i have been lurking here for over 2 years and tonight i decided it's time to come out of the shadows.

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  Heartsafire

  Greetings Silent Night!

  I was you a few years back with the doubts, anxiety, and lurking. Now, I'm in a nice fade, although I cannot completely break away due to my husband and family still being JWs. But...nobody's perfect. LoL.

  So glad youve gotten out and overcome your depression. It's amazing how toxic the JW environment is. All I can say is welcome to the forum and congrats on taking back your life!
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  23

  How Do You Get Most of Your News?

  by minimus in

  1. jw
  2. friends

  i read that many people get their news from facebook.

  i look online mostly at fox news and the drudge report.

  very seldom do i look at cnn.😎.

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  Heartsafire

  I get most of my news from seven fat men in New York.

  Haha. Jk
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  30

  Bret Weinstein: Evergreen State College Racism Controversy

  by Simon in

  1. social
  2. current

  great discussion, well worth watching.

  covers racism, the bubble that some people live in vs the reality that resulted in trumps election and more (and jws get a mention too).. the rubin report (and many of the guests he has on) repeatedly knock it out of the park with sensible, calm and important analysis and commentary on important issues to our society.. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-feapcgxnyy.

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  Heartsafire

  Gotta love the Rubin Report. Dave Rubin's interviews have totally made a difference for me on so many levels. This madness going on at Evergreen is, from what can see, just the tip of the iceberg in a fascist, terroristic movement know as the far left. This country needs to clean out the viral, systemic ideologies ripping itself apart internally. It starts with the youth.
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  27

  Day 1: The Night of Anger, Tears, and Pain

  by Saethydd in

  1. jw
  2. experiences

  my freedom came with a heavy cost.

  i couldn't stand the dishonesty so when my sister went out of town on a trip i told my parents that i no longer wanted to be a jw.

  when my sister got back and i told her she was so angry, said she really wanted to slap me, then she ran off sobbing, a few minutes later she deposited every gift i ever gave her in front of my door.. my entire family has turned against me.

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  Heartsafire

  Saethydd,

  So happy to hear you are in a place of freedom and acceptance.

  You've carefully thought out your exit and planned accordingly knowing that your family would react the way they did. You also respected your family in choosing to reveal to them the truth of your beliefs rather than lie to them any further.

  What you did took guts, and my hat is off to you. It takes brave ones like you to take a stand and break the cycle of this cult.

  It is unfortunate that your family could not accept your beliefs, and they toed the line in reacting to your honesty. Their beliefs are being challenged right now, and they are in great pain with conflicting feelings...not caused by you but caused by the indoctrination you so deservedly denounce. But, who knows what the future holds? This could be the start of something good for them all.

  Welcome to true freedom! Your future is yours to make and the possibilities are limitless.
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  38

  Talk to my Dad about beards.

  by LovingLifeNow in

  1. jw
  2. friends

  so i spoke to my elder dad the other day, and he asked if i still am sporting a beard.

  i said yes, then i said, "i thought the society said its ok to have a neat trimmed beard now?

  " he said "no, no, no..if you read the article , it says in countries where it is accepted" so my response was "ummm, its pretty accepted here in america"..which he says "it reflects your spirituality" "if another wittness saw you, they would know you are weak"...i was like, "ok, i don't get it, and i follow christ/god, not men..." then he said in his hall" if a brother came in with a beard , he would not have privelages" then i just gave up, and tried to change the subject..ugggggggggg if these people would just listen to themselves , they would see the sillyness of there teachings...

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  Heartsafire

  @the rebel

  Don't know if you were being serious. Couldn't help laughing. Btw...I pick C because a man confident in himself despite his flaws is attractive.

  I happen to think a clean, trimmed beard is sexy, but not as a compensation for baldness. A man who embraces his baldness is attractive and frankly rather sexy IMO.

  As for a man with a wig, I just feel sorry for the guy. But, no offense, please, to any gent who wears one.
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  36

  How ballroom dancing helped our exit

  by Finally Left in

  1. watchtower
  2. beliefs

  just wanted to say hello and thank you for all of your comments.

  when i finally figured out this was not the truth it was nice to know i wasn't the only one - it was a surprise to learn how many there are.

  february was my last month of service after 43 active years.

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  Heartsafire

  Wow! Marvelous story! Love that you bonded over dancing and it led to your freedom. If I wasn't such an Elaine from Seinfeld at dancing I might sign my hunny and I up for lessons. Congrats to you both.