Heartsafire

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Posts by Heartsafire

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  161

  I am leaving the JW's . I am alone and scared. Advice and help needed please

  by scared and lonely in

  1. jw
  2. experiences

  i am sorry that on my first post i am asking for help and advice but i am at my wits end.

  i have been brought up a witness all my life and it is all i know.

  i am an ex-elder and pioneer and i don't know anybody outside of the congregation.. i have been unhappy for so long and wanted to leave.

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  Heartsafire

  Scared,

  I should tell you that I have been homeless before. Living on the streets is not easy. Avoid getting sucked into groups of people who may use you or drag you down such as drug addicts, etc. Find successful people, and ask them for help. There are other groups out there besides religious organizations, but those are the ones I found most helpful (besides the welfare programs) in helping me get out of poverty.

  Also, JW's love to pull all support from df'd ones. They think the hardships they cause in people's lives will be God's doing. They rejoice when people who leave suffer. It is a cultish ploy to get you to return to the fold. Don't give them the satisfaction. The best revenge is to live a good life. Plus, screw revenge, just live a good life period!

  You can do this. Many people have. You are more than a suit and pamphlet passing robot. You are smart enough to realize ttatt, and brave enough to express your doubts to elders, so I think you will do well on your own.
  
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  161

  I am leaving the JW's . I am alone and scared. Advice and help needed please

  by scared and lonely in

  1. jw
  2. experiences

  i am sorry that on my first post i am asking for help and advice but i am at my wits end.

  i have been brought up a witness all my life and it is all i know.

  i am an ex-elder and pioneer and i don't know anybody outside of the congregation.. i have been unhappy for so long and wanted to leave.

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  Heartsafire

  Welcome to the site and your doubts are right about the Borg. I understand your plight of knowing nobody on the outside. My family goes back since my grandparent's grandparent's in the troof. Or wait...maybe earlier than that...anyway, If you must leave do it 100%. Think of all that energy you spent trying to make new JW's and counselling already JW's. Leaving will be much the same way, except you will be making friends and building a network.

  If you are to be kicked out, you will need to find food and shelter. Immediately, you need to put together a resume, and find employment. Next, if you are in the USA, find the number to your local food bank and government assistance programs for welfare recipients. If you are in any place in the world including the USA, you can go to a local Catholic Charity and receive food and perhaps shelter and info for other charities. This is just a start.

  You must form a network. Try to find other ex-JW's in your area. You can do this with the app "Meetup". You can also do this on this website. Most places in the USA have a community church. Where I live the community church is huge (think lots of $$) and the place to go if you need help. There are many small groups that meet for various reasons at these churches, and you will find tons of people receptive to your story and sympathetic with your plight. I have done this before--just went to some women's groups a few times and met some amazing individuals that are now my good friends. They don't care that I don't attend their group anymore, but we always find time to hang out and help each other.

  If you know you have no chance to fade, then these are my suggestions. I am currently fading nicely. Hope this helps!

  Edited to say: Each state in the USA has its own sort of welfare. And trust me, some states are better than others. If you are planning on moving, I would look into finding a state that has plenty of jobs (a bustling economy) as well as excellent welfare programs.
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  12

  The Pope is more like Christ than the GB

  by StarTrekAngel in

  1. watchtower
  2. beliefs

  just a quick line to share something i heard in the news yesterday.

  while we may disagree with many of the doctrines of the catholic church, there was something interesting.. the subject was regarding the view by the church on abortion and contraceptives.

  while the pope insisted in the absolute and immutable evil of terminating a pregnancy, he said that considering the risks presented by the zika virus, women in south america should consider contraceptives to prevent unwanted pregnancies that could end up in a child born with defects.

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  Heartsafire

  The pope is one of many people who are more loving than the GB. The Bible mentions that even wicked people love their own. The GB don't even do this.
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  51

  Hello everyone. New here looking for info and friends

  by Harvard Illiterate 411 in

  1. forum
  2. announcements

  i sometimes was redirected to this page from reddit or another ex-jw site but never bothered to sign up.

  i wanted to stay off the radar but since i'm getting dis-fellowshipped anyways and have no plans to come back what the hell.

  been 22 years in the truth........... ahhhh i hate to use that expression...... bad habit but you know what i mean.

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  Heartsafire

  Hey Harvard,

  Good to know ya! I'm a fading JW and my husband is still under the WT spell. For years I felt like something was wrong and after finding info about the UN membership plus the child abuse scandals I couldn't take it anymore.

  Finally read Steve Hassens book about combatting cult mind control and was like "holy shit, it's a cult"!

  Really sucks how JW's are so judge-y especially of their own kind! If you are a halfway attractive woman you are seen as a threat to everyone. How dare you have shapely legs! Hide those ankles! Only us gals with cankles can wear short skirts!

  Good for you on getting away. Can't wait to hear more about you. Congrats on the rest of your life!
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  21

  Travel recommendations?

  by stephanie61092 in

  1. jw
  2. experiences

  hey guys.

  i've decided that during this time of being dfed, maybe trying to get reinstated, i'm going to enjoy my time with myself.

  that being said, i would like to do some traveling when the weather warms up across the us.

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  Heartsafire

  Florida Keyes maybe?
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  22

  Another one bites the dust...

  by StarTrekAngel in

  1. jw
  2. experiences

  so despite glimpses of hope here and there, the wife is just not seeing this cult for what it is.. so who is the one the bit the dust?

  i've not been feeling so well lately.

  a bit of lightheadedness.

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  Heartsafire

  Sounds like your wife has a serious emotional attachment to this cult. My husband does as well, so I sympathize with you. Please focus on your health and happiness first. Limit stress and conflict as much as possible. Do you like comedy? Sometimes I just hop onto YouTube and search comedians. Anyway, some good belly laughs work wonders at improving health and blood pressure. Get better friend:)
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  6

  Happy Valentines Day !

  by Perry in

  1. jw
  2. friends

  today is also my 12th anniversary to my most wonderful wife.

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  happy valentines day to all of you!!.

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  Heartsafire

  Happy Anniversary to you both! And...

  Happy St. Valentine's Day! 🍾🍫💕🎉💑
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  14

  Mentally challenged DF

  by James Mixon in

  1. watchtower
  2. bible

  there was a df of a mentally challenged young man he sexually assaulted a young girl.. in jesus day people were possessed by demons but we know today they had mental issues.. do you know of any cases where a mentally challenged person was df.. the case that i mention the young man was 18-20 years old and it was a case where he was.

  functional, school, friends and was baptized.

  i knew the family and if you didn't know he was a. typical teenager.. my question, if a mentally challenged person is able to answer the questions to qualify to be.

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  Heartsafire

  Baptism in jw land doesn't mean what it does to the average church goer. If you are baptized in another church, and you mess up or sin, you're not automatically at risk of losing your baptismal status. You're simply in "sin". However, as a jw, if you sin then it is considered a violation of your contractal agreement to abide by the organizational standards aka "baptism". That they would offer this binding obligation to a person with disabilities and then hold them accountable for the disruption of the agreement reveals the debased moral character this org operates under as a whole. It really is a corrupt corporation posing as a religion when you think about it with the business attire instead of Sunday's best, the meetings instead of church service, the dedication/baptism to father, son and spirit anointed organization...
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  41

  If all the world were JWs....

  by Tornintwo in

  1. jw
  2. friends

  in my former indoctrinated state, i used to yearn for a time when all the world would be jws.

  but hang on minute, let's just think about what the world would be like if everyone was a jw,.

  first of all, no higher education, so no medical advances, no scientific research, no modern day medicine, infectious disease rife, no doctors, no engineers, so no modern day comforts.

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  Heartsafire

  If everyone were witnesses I think that the GB would let totally loose and form an oligarchy dictatorship in which they would rule the world like power hungry gods. Disfellowshipping would be abolished. Instead, dissenters would be executed by their "brothers", and oh yes, let's not forget their households would be executed as well.
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  30

  Do you think JWN members would be surprised if they got to know you in real life?

  by nicolaou in

  1. jw
  2. friends

  i don't think you'd recognise me much at all.

  i'm a royal mail postman, i love my job for the early starts and midday finish, the outdoors and the exercise.. i get on with people but i'm quite insular and don't enjoy crowds.

  i'm happiest when i've fired up the charcoal and i'm making souvlaki or adana kebabs for my family and a few close friends.

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  Heartsafire

  Souvlaki?! Yum! I really enjoyed reading this. Thank you for sharing.

  To answer your question, I honestly have no idea if people would be surprised once they got to know me.

  Here's a tidbit about me: Like you, I detest large crowds and avoid them whenever possible. I also love books have collected them since I was a child. I still have my first books from which I learned to read. I'm rather introverted and shy, but I love people and I'm often more generous than I should be (or so I've been told). My home is modest but comfy, and I'm obsessed with decorating. I am also obsessed with saving money so I live a conflicted life with my passions at odds. When it comes to food, I will eat anything, although I prefer spicy-hot or savory flavors. I do love a grilled chicken souvlaki with a buttery slathering. I've only discovered this dish at a restaurant and thought I had died and gone to...well...never mind. But, it was tasty.

  Its fun, this sharing about ourselves thing. Wish I could say more, but I'm sorry to say I'm rather a boring person. Haha!