Posts by mentalclarity

22

Witnessing to two JW elders

by Roger Kirkpatrick in

i was approached by two jehovah’s witness elders who handed me a pamphlet advertising the jw .org website.

each man carried a bible and an apple ipad.

they told me that they enjoyed visiting with people about the bible, and asked if i was a bible reader.

mentalclarity

Wow- I'm surprised they interacted with you long enough to go through all of that.

Could you tell me where in the July 2009 Awake I can find the quote? I'd like to real the whole thing in context!

66

Do you think the general public cares about former Jehovah's witnesses?

by Christian Gutierrez in

jw
friends

i was wondering if you guys think if the general public cares about our stories or if they even care what the watchtower does to people??

?.

Unless you know a JW I don't think people really care much about what is happening with JWs. They probably read the child abuse articles and put it under all one umbrella of another "child abuse and religion" scandal.

Unless people are effected by something personally they probably are not going to care too much about it.

24

The little things that made you feel guilty as a JW?

by HereIgo in

watching rated r movies?

maybe a little gambling in vegas?

when i was in high school i went to the mall with my friend at the time, who happened to be a female.

mentalclarity

I decorated an xmas tree with a neighbor and her family when I was 11 years old. In hindsight I was always "worldly" at heart

30

Why is the approval of family so important?

by jwfacts in

one of the reasons people remain pimo is fear of losing family.

those that are disfellowshipped and shunned regularly comment about how devastated that they have lost the approval of their parents.. when i respond to emails from people saying how difficult it is being estranged or looked down on by their parents, i would like to say that over time they will come to terms with it, except i not sure that people ever do.

i cannot shake that feeling either.

mentalclarity

I think it's really difficult when you have to take a stand and basically say to your mom or dad that the fact that they raised you as a JW was wrong and you are taking a different route. My mom wasn't a horrible person, she was doing what she thought was in our best interest (to her thinking) and I'm sure it was difficult to work/study and be a JW dragging your kids to meetings, service, etc. She did it because she believed wholeheartedly. And there is almost a sense of ungratefulness for everything she did for us as kids - all the sacrifices a parent does- by saying you no longer want to be a JW. It's not like saying.."Hey mom, I want to be an environmentalist, not an engineer" You have to be defiant and basically say, " You were very wrong in teaching me this religion and dedicating your life to it". You just can't be nice about it. So it's not just an approval thing- there are multiple layers. They have to admit they might be wrong in order to allow you to have your own life.I don't want approval but it's taken me a while to not feel like I'm the ingrate in the family or that I'm not the crazy one. The more family you have inside the more you tend to doubt your own sanity at times.

30

Why is the approval of family so important?

by jwfacts in

one of the reasons people remain pimo is fear of losing family.

those that are disfellowshipped and shunned regularly comment about how devastated that they have lost the approval of their parents.. when i respond to emails from people saying how difficult it is being estranged or looked down on by their parents, i would like to say that over time they will come to terms with it, except i not sure that people ever do.

i cannot shake that feeling either.

mentalclarity

I think it's natural to seek approval from your parents. Especially if you've received it for a good bit of your life until you decided to stop being a JW. I would think that's why the ones who leave are usually "the black sheep" of the family (acting up even before leaving)- meaning they probably stopped getting approval a while back so it didn't really matter so much to lose it.

Eventually you come to terms with it- you just accept that no JW will ever support your decision to leave and they will feel inclined to read literature, ask elders, etc to figure out how they should handle you. This is what has happened in my family. But I'm lucky that my mom (btw- all of my family except me is extremely "active") continues to have a relationship with me although I've been inactive almost a decade. She does support me in what she can...my choices in education, career, etc. I like what another poster said about still treating them well even though you aren't getting that treatment back. I always send cute pics of my kids to all my family, congratulate them on graduations,etc even though I might not get a response. They can decide how they treat me and I decide how I will treat others regardless.

I have alot of people in my life who show me love and support- I think sometimes you just have to realize that it might not be from the people you expect or want. But why focus on the person who is treating you like shit or not giving you what you want/need when you could choose to focus on all the people who show their love and care on a daily basis. That's why it's so important to find people like that. The more positive people are around you, the less you'll "need" your family. Think of them as people who are sick and just incapable of loving you the way you need to be loved. There are alot of people who have parents like that (think mental illness, addiction,etc)

The family that doesn't contact me are just following rules- it's not personal. I finally got that at some point so I don't have to be proving what a wonderful person I am to them..or convince them they are insane for following these rules....

I don't really have time to try to figure out why my family continues to be in this religion or why they raised me in it. I don't get too much out of that myself and I just go around in circles and it doesn't change the past or how they treat me now. Obviously I'm not raising my kids that way - that's about all I can do.

22

Do You Have Any Indoctrinated Guilt Left Over?

by pale.emperor in

i voted this morning for the first time.

at 32yo i wondered in a church of england parish hall with no idea what i was doing.

everyone else knew how to do it.

mentalclarity

I'd say that the first couple of years, more than guilt, I had to just get used to celebrating birthdays and xmas and being involved politically,etc. I was doing them, but i didn't enjoy it. Now I've come to really participate pretty wholeheartedly in things and I have no guilt at all. I still have a conscience about things but it doesn't have to do with JW teachings. It's about my own convictions.

It took me a while to feel comfortable with the idea that my family knew that I was celebrating and probably judging me-but I got over that too. Now if they visit me I'll let them know I have a xmas tree up and if they feel uncomfortable with that- they can stay at a hotel,etc. Some of my siblings have cut contact-others no...It's their choice, but i'm not adapting to appease them.

15

Elder "D": Catholics No Longer Believe in a Trinity

by Saename in

so in this topic, i mentioned i had a conversation with an elder "d." this elder said that the catholic church admitted the trinity is unscriptural.

i'm pretty sure this is not true.

the doctrine of trinity is the most fundamental belief in the catholic church.

mentalclarity

No- nothing has changed. It's part of the cathecism so pretty impossible to change. Unlike JW doctrine that can be flipped at the drop of a hat- it's very hard to change doctrine in Catholicism. Catholic beliefs are based on bible and "tradition" so any catholic admitting the trinity is not stated as it is understood now in the bible isn't saying it's not true.

Your elder probably heard or read something about catholics saying "trinity" is not found in the bible and due to his ignorance just assumed it was a game changer. That's what happens when you only read stuff about your own religion and never look up objective information on other religions.

41

Where do I go now?

by Libby in

jw
friends

so i thought my purpose was to serve jehovah and get baptised.

where do i go now to get baptised?

is baptism even a requirement for serving god or was that just for the disciples and people of that time.

mentalclarity

You don't have to figure everything all at once. When i first left I didn't pray and I rejected all organized religion. A few years later I changed my mind and now I pray all the time and feel I have a purpose. It's a process and we've all been there (at least anyone who grew up as a JW). This opportunity allows you to really think about your morals, convictions, beliefs and you'll come out on the other end a conscious adult who knows why you are doing this or that (like praying). I know it feels like a disappointment but it's actually a gift. I think many people go through their whole lives not knowing why they do the things they do. Socrates said "The unexamined life is not worth living". You just got your big chance to examine EVERYTHING. It's a process..take it slow...and guess what? In the end, not too many people out there care if you pray or don't pray, if you're baptized or not (except JWs) You will probably swing from one extreme to another (I did) and find your balance.

15

Yesterday's Watchtower Study 11 June 2017

by BluesBrother in

"what will go when god's kingdom comes?

" from april w/tower.

we start with a picture of jesus riding a white horse into battle, galloping towards terrified people in darkness.

mentalclarity

Thanks for posting this....it's been almost a decade since I've picked up a Watchtower- so it's kind of interesting to see the same spiel being spewed. One of the saddest things about some JWs is their hope for the paradise to come and fix everything. Meanwhile they stay in unhappy relationships, shitty jobs and terrible situations while they are waiting when they could be actively making decisions to have a better life now. Just waiting and waiting and waiting for paradise. How incredibly sad!

19

Hello again

by BlackWolf in

jw
friends

hello everyone, it's been a while since i've posted anything on here so i thought i might give an update.

next month i turn 18 and my mom is constantly berating me about getting baptized, so much so that my siblings have even told her to stop.

ive just been flat out telling her no which i know is irritating her.

mentalclarity

Hi BlackWolf,

First of all, I know all too well how scary it can be to feel like you're disappointing your parents (even if you know logically it's the right thing to do). You naturally love them and wouldn't it be great if they supported all your decisions and showed you love regardless-but when it comes to JW's this just simply will not happen. Keep your expectations low- you'll never be able to explain it to them so don't dig yourself a deeper hole trying to. No is a complete sentence. "I don't feel this is right for me right now" and leave it at that. The pressure usually is too much for us and we have to move out. Depending on how active/strict your parents are they might make life quite difficult and just expect the emotional blackmail- it is what it is.

What you are doing is incredibly brave and will serve your siblings well. If they see that you aren't a witness and your life turns out ok..this is actually even better than debating crazy doctrine with a JW. It's been my experience that success in my life is more threatening than convincing my family that their beliefs are crazy. You don't want to be labeled as an apostate-then the shunning will just escalate and they will feel justified.

You will need a good support system. Start that now while you are at home. Non-jw family, non-jw friends and co-workers,etc... It's alot easier to move out when you have roommates,etc. Just from a logistical point.

This is probably alot of info to take in but please remember this one lifelong lesson that took me almost 30 years to learn:

You have the right as an individual to decide what is best for your life- whether other people agree or not is out of your control. You will disappoint them and they will react according to their belief system (for JW's this means witholding their love) which will hurt....but if you can learn this at 18 and accept it for what it is, I can promise you..your life will be amazing!!! There are so many wonderful people and opportunities that will love you and support you in the way that you need - you just have to find them.

Good luck!