hello, all you damn dirty apostates!
please, allow me to join this community of diseased minds.
i have been lurking here for over 2 years and tonight i decided it's time to come out of the shadows.
Always makes me smile to see when someone connects all the dots and has that aha moment. That's exactly what happened to me about 10 years ago when I successfully faded and I'm so glad I had this site to post on.
Welcome, you are among people who understand without you even explaining much.
i was approached by two jehovah’s witness elders who handed me a pamphlet advertising the jw .org website.
each man carried a bible and an apple ipad.
they told me that they enjoyed visiting with people about the bible, and asked if i was a bible reader.
Thanks @vanderhoven7 and Roger Kirkpatrick. I was having trouble finding it...
i was approached by two jehovah’s witness elders who handed me a pamphlet advertising the jw .org website.
each man carried a bible and an apple ipad.
they told me that they enjoyed visiting with people about the bible, and asked if i was a bible reader.
Wow- I'm surprised they interacted with you long enough to go through all of that.
Could you tell me where in the July 2009 Awake I can find the quote? I'd like to real the whole thing in context!
i was wondering if you guys think if the general public cares about our stories or if they even care what the watchtower does to people??
?.
Unless you know a JW I don't think people really care much about what is happening with JWs. They probably read the child abuse articles and put it under all one umbrella of another "child abuse and religion" scandal.
Unless people are effected by something personally they probably are not going to care too much about it.
watching rated r movies?
maybe a little gambling in vegas?
when i was in high school i went to the mall with my friend at the time, who happened to be a female.
I decorated an xmas tree with a neighbor and her family when I was 11 years old. In hindsight I was always "worldly" at heart
one of the reasons people remain pimo is fear of losing family.
those that are disfellowshipped and shunned regularly comment about how devastated that they have lost the approval of their parents.. when i respond to emails from people saying how difficult it is being estranged or looked down on by their parents, i would like to say that over time they will come to terms with it, except i not sure that people ever do.
i cannot shake that feeling either.
I think it's really difficult when you have to take a stand and basically say to your mom or dad that the fact that they raised you as a JW was wrong and you are taking a different route. My mom wasn't a horrible person, she was doing what she thought was in our best interest (to her thinking) and I'm sure it was difficult to work/study and be a JW dragging your kids to meetings, service, etc. She did it because she believed wholeheartedly. And there is almost a sense of ungratefulness for everything she did for us as kids - all the sacrifices a parent does- by saying you no longer want to be a JW. It's not like saying.."Hey mom, I want to be an environmentalist, not an engineer" You have to be defiant and basically say, " You were very wrong in teaching me this religion and dedicating your life to it". You just can't be nice about it. So it's not just an approval thing- there are multiple layers. They have to admit they might be wrong in order to allow you to have your own life.I don't want approval but it's taken me a while to not feel like I'm the ingrate in the family or that I'm not the crazy one. The more family you have inside the more you tend to doubt your own sanity at times.
one of the reasons people remain pimo is fear of losing family.
those that are disfellowshipped and shunned regularly comment about how devastated that they have lost the approval of their parents.. when i respond to emails from people saying how difficult it is being estranged or looked down on by their parents, i would like to say that over time they will come to terms with it, except i not sure that people ever do.
i cannot shake that feeling either.
I think it's natural to seek approval from your parents. Especially if you've received it for a good bit of your life until you decided to stop being a JW. I would think that's why the ones who leave are usually "the black sheep" of the family (acting up even before leaving)- meaning they probably stopped getting approval a while back so it didn't really matter so much to lose it.
Eventually you come to terms with it- you just accept that no JW will ever support your decision to leave and they will feel inclined to read literature, ask elders, etc to figure out how they should handle you. This is what has happened in my family. But I'm lucky that my mom (btw- all of my family except me is extremely "active") continues to have a relationship with me although I've been inactive almost a decade. She does support me in what she can...my choices in education, career, etc. I like what another poster said about still treating them well even though you aren't getting that treatment back. I always send cute pics of my kids to all my family, congratulate them on graduations,etc even though I might not get a response. They can decide how they treat me and I decide how I will treat others regardless.
I have alot of people in my life who show me love and support- I think sometimes you just have to realize that it might not be from the people you expect or want. But why focus on the person who is treating you like shit or not giving you what you want/need when you could choose to focus on all the people who show their love and care on a daily basis. That's why it's so important to find people like that. The more positive people are around you, the less you'll "need" your family. Think of them as people who are sick and just incapable of loving you the way you need to be loved. There are alot of people who have parents like that (think mental illness, addiction,etc)
The family that doesn't contact me are just following rules- it's not personal. I finally got that at some point so I don't have to be proving what a wonderful person I am to them..or convince them they are insane for following these rules....
I don't really have time to try to figure out why my family continues to be in this religion or why they raised me in it. I don't get too much out of that myself and I just go around in circles and it doesn't change the past or how they treat me now. Obviously I'm not raising my kids that way - that's about all I can do.
i voted this morning for the first time.
at 32yo i wondered in a church of england parish hall with no idea what i was doing.
everyone else knew how to do it.
I'd say that the first couple of years, more than guilt, I had to just get used to celebrating birthdays and xmas and being involved politically,etc. I was doing them, but i didn't enjoy it. Now I've come to really participate pretty wholeheartedly in things and I have no guilt at all. I still have a conscience about things but it doesn't have to do with JW teachings. It's about my own convictions.
It took me a while to feel comfortable with the idea that my family knew that I was celebrating and probably judging me-but I got over that too. Now if they visit me I'll let them know I have a xmas tree up and if they feel uncomfortable with that- they can stay at a hotel,etc. Some of my siblings have cut contact-others no...It's their choice, but i'm not adapting to appease them.
so in this topic, i mentioned i had a conversation with an elder "d." this elder said that the catholic church admitted the trinity is unscriptural.
i'm pretty sure this is not true.
the doctrine of trinity is the most fundamental belief in the catholic church.
No- nothing has changed. It's part of the cathecism so pretty impossible to change. Unlike JW doctrine that can be flipped at the drop of a hat- it's very hard to change doctrine in Catholicism. Catholic beliefs are based on bible and "tradition" so any catholic admitting the trinity is not stated as it is understood now in the bible isn't saying it's not true.
Your elder probably heard or read something about catholics saying "trinity" is not found in the bible and due to his ignorance just assumed it was a game changer. That's what happens when you only read stuff about your own religion and never look up objective information on other religions.
so i thought my purpose was to serve jehovah and get baptised.
where do i go now to get baptised?
is baptism even a requirement for serving god or was that just for the disciples and people of that time.
You don't have to figure everything all at once. When i first left I didn't pray and I rejected all organized religion. A few years later I changed my mind and now I pray all the time and feel I have a purpose. It's a process and we've all been there (at least anyone who grew up as a JW). This opportunity allows you to really think about your morals, convictions, beliefs and you'll come out on the other end a conscious adult who knows why you are doing this or that (like praying). I know it feels like a disappointment but it's actually a gift. I think many people go through their whole lives not knowing why they do the things they do. Socrates said "The unexamined life is not worth living". You just got your big chance to examine EVERYTHING. It's a process..take it slow...and guess what? In the end, not too many people out there care if you pray or don't pray, if you're baptized or not (except JWs) You will probably swing from one extreme to another (I did) and find your balance.
