Posts by mentalclarity

70

What made you stay "in" even when you knew it wasn't the "truth"?

by mentalclarity in

so i've been thinking a lot about why i stayed a jw for so long even though i had always had doubts about the doctrines.

i was born into the religion, left and came back as an adult for another decade.

some of the things that come to mind (besides the threat of shunning-and this isn't to minimize that very real threat) was:.

mentalclarity

@Giordano - thanks for that info. I didn't know the history of those other religions. Very interesting point about denying realities in order to "believe" the one truth.

70

What made you stay "in" even when you knew it wasn't the "truth"?

by mentalclarity in

so i've been thinking a lot about why i stayed a jw for so long even though i had always had doubts about the doctrines.

i was born into the religion, left and came back as an adult for another decade.

some of the things that come to mind (besides the threat of shunning-and this isn't to minimize that very real threat) was:.

@doubtfully yours - that's kind of how I see my JW family- the crazy doctrines they believe don't bother me. I'm surrounded by all types of different beliefs (people who follow gurus and make vision boards/others who love Jesus, Jesus. Jesus/those who believe in the power of crystals, etc ) none of that really matters to me and they are welcome to believe what they want. I just can't stand the self-righteousness of the JW. That the others who think differently must be evil/stupid for not recognizing the "truth". The dismissing of other people's ideas and opinion's just because they are "worldly". Even without the shunning this would really bother me.

70

What made you stay "in" even when you knew it wasn't the "truth"?

by mentalclarity in

so i've been thinking a lot about why i stayed a jw for so long even though i had always had doubts about the doctrines.

i was born into the religion, left and came back as an adult for another decade.

some of the things that come to mind (besides the threat of shunning-and this isn't to minimize that very real threat) was:.

mentalclarity

@joe134cd I also thought I could just do the bare minimum and still have the "community" but it didn't work.

@smiddy definitely he investment weighs heavy- it takes time also to slowly untangle yourself and make an exit if you have family you still want to keep in contact with (or try to at least)

70

What made you stay "in" even when you knew it wasn't the "truth"?

by mentalclarity in

so i've been thinking a lot about why i stayed a jw for so long even though i had always had doubts about the doctrines.

i was born into the religion, left and came back as an adult for another decade.

some of the things that come to mind (besides the threat of shunning-and this isn't to minimize that very real threat) was:.

mentalclarity

@LongHairGal - Thanks for sharing your experience! I remember being at the meeting during that watchtower study. I don't think I fully comprehended what it meant until a bit later.

27

Dealing with Elderly Parents Who Still Believe the jw Religion is the truth

by lancelink in

i left the religion back in 2008 right after my mother died,( the total lack of natural love/ affection was the final straw for me).. but my dad has become more and more focused on doing the wt bidding.. it just amazes me how he gushes on and on about the last days, his new bible studies, and meeting parts .

but yet he makes no effort to have any type of relationship with his grandkids, there are 5 of them , non are witnesses.

they are the children from several different sisters of mine, and myself.. so how do you deal with the witness stuff always being presented in conversations?.

mentalclarity

I just listen and smile and then try to change the subject. I'm not overtly shunned and there's no trying to "save" me so mostly it's just talk about their life which includes bible studies, assemblies and the like. When I first left there was some awkwardness about talking JW things but at some point I realized this was so much a part of my elderly mom's life that why should she have to filter it for my sake? Again, she wasn't trying to preach to me..just commenting on her life so I just listen and I can tell she's much more relaxed and feels comfortable around me.

23

I started a new podcast about my life as a JW today

by dubstepped in

so, i did a thing today.

i officially launched a podcast called "this jw life".

people keep saying that i should write a book, but i don't even read books, unless in audio format.

mentalclarity

I listened to both episodes and it brought back alot of memories. It makes me so mad for you that you weren't encouraged to pursue higher education and even got a scholarship.

My JW sister got a scholarship which she forfeited as well.

I never took the PSAT or SAT/ACT either. I was never encouraged to even go to the junior college. I was a really bright kid who did very well in school until high school when I started leading a double-life. As a girl JW my choices were to either be a pioneer or marry. I ended up leaving home when I was 19 years old.

You have a manner of speaking that is very easy to follow. I look forward to your future episodes!

70

What made you stay "in" even when you knew it wasn't the "truth"?

by mentalclarity in

so i've been thinking a lot about why i stayed a jw for so long even though i had always had doubts about the doctrines.

i was born into the religion, left and came back as an adult for another decade.

some of the things that come to mind (besides the threat of shunning-and this isn't to minimize that very real threat) was:.

mentalclarity

@Giordano that's a wonderful depiction of freedom.

70

What made you stay "in" even when you knew it wasn't the "truth"?

by mentalclarity in

so i've been thinking a lot about why i stayed a jw for so long even though i had always had doubts about the doctrines.

i was born into the religion, left and came back as an adult for another decade.

some of the things that come to mind (besides the threat of shunning-and this isn't to minimize that very real threat) was:.

mentalclarity

Wow- so many great comments!

@scratchme110 sounds like you were wise to the whole "it's the truth" thing from the get go.

@tor1500 I never thought of lack of accountability because it's all the organization's fault as a reason. Makes sense. I also think it's mental laziness- no need to think for yourself.

@pale.emperor- yes! I thought it was a lovely place until I realized it wasn't so lovely. I remember one time someone in my congregation wanted to use my house to throw a baby shower for a young witness girl who had gotten pregnant as was publicly reproved. I was like..of course! Let's help her out. The elders told her it was a bad idea (because she was reproved) so they ended up having something super small with just family at her house. I just thought to myself- this isn't right. That is so unloving....

70

What made you stay "in" even when you knew it wasn't the "truth"?

by mentalclarity in

so i've been thinking a lot about why i stayed a jw for so long even though i had always had doubts about the doctrines.

i was born into the religion, left and came back as an adult for another decade.

some of the things that come to mind (besides the threat of shunning-and this isn't to minimize that very real threat) was:.

mentalclarity

@FedUpJW- I never had thought of that reason. jwfact is right- that's very loving of you.

@StephaneLaLiberte - seeing that depression, divorce, etc happened pretty frequently in congregations too made me start thinking it wasn't that special a religion. Sounds like your grandmother's genuine love helped debunk the myth about "worldly" people.

One of the main reasons I left when I did was because I couldn't imagine teaching these things to my kids and I started getting the feeling I was really going to mess them up psychologically if I did.

234

Suicide - How many do you know within the JWs

by Lady Lee in

thw wts likes to play games with their statistics.

one interesting but truly tragic is the number of jwhovah's witnesses who commit suicie.. now i suspect that if a person commits suicide shortly before or after they are disfellowshipped then the elders would say that person wasn't a witness or that they had done something so terrible that they were too guilty to admit it and by their action of committing suicide they pretty much declared they were no longer a jw.. yup fancy talk to make sure any crap didn't fall on them.. so my question.. do you know of cases like this?

if so then can you answer a few more questions.. had this person been dfed or in real danger of being dfed or whatever the equivalent is if they were never baptized?.

mentalclarity

@millie210- yeah it happened in the 80's but I learned about it a decade after and it was seen as a huge mistake on the way it was handled.

I remembered another suicide of someone who had been df'd in his teens. It was probably 15 years after so I really don't know what prompted it but his family were all JW so just makes me think maybe he could of reached out for help if he wasn't being shunned.