i've created a poll here: https://goo.gl/7xburo.
i'd be interested in seeing the results.. .
#qp_main1119848 .qp_btna:hover input {background:#00355f!important} #qp_all1119848 {max-width:815px; margin:0 auto;}if watchtower scrapped the shunning policy due to "new light" and your family suddenly agreed to speak to you again would you accept them back?.
I voted yes. My family is following rules - they are too indoctrinated to know any better.
I've always wanted a relationship with them - I don't see it as condoning their behavior to have a relationship with them if the WT rules change. I would welcome them with open arms- their not having a relationship with me has always been about them- not me.
Why give them a taste of their own medicine? We aren't "in" anymore and we know better. IMHO. It's not tit for tat.
so after a couple of years, i've finally re-established contact with a close relative (not revealing too much for privacy reasons).
it turns out that he is dfd (for the typical jw reasons, of course).
we caught up about a lot of things, including family.
Yeah I've had that happen to me too. My ex and I are both out for many years but many active witnesses are still in contact with him because they figured he left because he was morally "weak". In other words, he still believes, but he can't live up to the standards,
I, on the other hand, am not considered morally weak - but I'm considered the WORST because I don't believe it's the "truth". I've gotten emails about how horrible I am and the cold shoulder from almost all my old jw friends and a few of my family.
We are more of a threat obviously to their bubble. Any criticism of the organization puts the blame on them. Moral weakness places the blame on you.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=wktxjuyiat4.
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after being a jw made me lose trust in religion, from the lies, hypocrisy and greed of this organization made me lose faith completely.
what does one do after this mind f$%@, what is there to look forward to?
do i make up my own agnostic theory in head and hope for the best?
So you know how you might have had a bad experience with a man and then you think all men are shit???? It just reminds me a lot of with what happens with exjws and religion. It's a process-a lot of exjw swing to the other extreme. I was very anti-organized religion when I first left, then I softened my stance.
I work with Catholics, Baptists. Methodists, Buddhist leaning, etc people and some go to church/some don't. I see their lives as pretty balanced and they are decent, honest individuals trying to raise their kids and do the best they can. What matters is that you do what works for you. Take a break- don't do anything and little by little see if something peaks your interest. You'll find your own compass. The way you feel right now about religion may change or it might not. But at least it won't be just a knee jerk reaction to being a JW.
was there something that was said to you that got the wheel turning in your brain, that caused you to start waking up to ttatt, either by a jw or ex-jw that you didn't know was awake?
i'm trying to think of things i can say or ask of my current family members still in that may help them to start seeing the real truth about the organization.
they think we're still in..
While I was still in, I heard of some exjws who had become "apostate". I would never have talked to them or listened to anything they said. My guard would have been up.
My waking up had to do more with questions that a non-jw at work started to ask and I found myself struggling to make our beliefs sound logical.
I think there are different things that awaken each of us. With some, it's seeing things crumble from the inside. With others it's exposure to nice non-jws. For some, they looked up stuff online and I really doubt someone sitting you down and trying to "reason" with them about JWs is going to help them wake up. You have to already kind of be going down that road and open to doubting the "truth". I don't really try even bringing up JW stuff when I'm with the family...but, I make myself approachable (non-confrontational/loving) and lead a happy life so that if ever someone wants to come up and ask me questions..or a place to stay or whatever- they know I'll be there for them. I don't want to be that crazy exjw that they'll automatically dismiss because I'm always trying to prove them wrong.
hey guys.
a friend online asked me about my recovery and how i managed to recover relatively easily from watchtower indoctrination.
although i think a major part of it is acquainting oneself with information about the watchtower and it's history, a lot of it (for me at least) was an inner game.
This was a really good read - your friend is lucky to have you for support.
"You’ll be tremendously loyal and loving to those you really care about"...
This is so true. For every family member or friend I've lost because of them following these silly rules, I've gained someone new who loves and supports me unconditionally. I can't tell you how much I value them because of my JW upbringing. I might have taken it for granted had I not had that experience.
https://www.facebook.com/jw.0027/videos/799049613609936/.
the video was posted directly to a pro-jw facebook page.
i cant believe what i'm hearing... actually, nothing surprises be about this cult anymore.. didn't they say to the judge in the arc that they dont discourage college?.
I've been out for quite a while but as far as i can tell from my uber JW family this is a conscience matter and the younger generation of relatives I have have all either been to college or technical school. I'm not saying they are sending kids to live in dorms at top Universities but definitely there is more openness to sending kids to college in general. In some countries you really can't get a job without a professional degree and I don't think that was the case 20 years ago. Maybe there's a difference from country to country on this issue. I tend to see alot of difference even from one congregation to another.
i was born in the religion but why on earth do people join this religion?
?.
I think people who become witnesses are looking for something outside mainstream religions that provides them with answers. JWs seem to do that superficially. There is also the lure of being part of a group and there are alot of nice JWs out there. At first glance, it seems like a nice bunch - it's not until you've been in a while that you start seeing all the major flaws.
New converts are usually vulnerable also in some way- in alot of cases I can think of- people have been ignored or feel isolated and here comes a group of JWs paying alot of attention to them and being super nice. Of course that's going to make an impression. And people might start feeling this false sense of "I know something that others do not" like you've discovered something that everyone else couldn't decipher, but here you are diligently studying the Bible and you're surrounded by a group of people who feel the exact same way. That's powerful stuff. You're all in this together- you suddenly have a purpose (preach!) and you know exactly what's going to happen in the future. Sadly, the euphoria doesn't last long....
a lot of religious folks can have an open-minded discussion about their beliefs without getting defensive.
some can actually consider things from another point of view and point out the validity in the other person's point.
obviously, a lot of jws may just be scared to think/speak in a semi-detrimental way about their religion.
A lot of religious folks can have an open-minded discussion about their beliefs without getting defensive. Some can actually consider things from another point of view and point out the validity in the other person's point.
I agree. Let's not overgeneralize all religions and people.
I can't speak for other religions because I don't have that experience from the inside, but I do know how JWs think. The reason JWs cannot do this imo is because their self-righteousness does not allow any openness to being wrong. Their whole self-identity would crumble if they thought that. Remember that the org breeds perfectionism - always trying to attain it (that is the ultimate goal, right? perfect life) Approval from God and others hinges on this very core belief. So it makes complete sense that you would never even toy with the idea of being wrong - there is way too much at stake. And there is the black and white thinking. Either you are with us or you stand against us. Anyone who thinks differently is standing against them and must be convinced or condemned silently.
what a journey!.
it was a year ago today that i was announced from the platform by brother paul "twofaced" castley that i was "no longer one of jehovah's witnesses".
i didn't go to that meeting to hear the announcement because i already didn't believe the watchtower religion.. how was my first year?
Looks like you hit the ground running! I know the feeling- so much to catch up on!
Congrats- your post just reminds me how great life is once you start doing what you really want and not just going through the motions out of obligations.
Hope next year is even better!
