hey forum goers.
i'd like your opinions on constructing an email reply to this shocker below.
bit of background about the sender: she is a middle-aged, cheery uberdub whose siblings left when a schism occured in her congregation in canada way back when.
First, hope your son has a swift recovery.
I'd probably write an email with all the things I'd like to respond and then just delete it. It's best not to engage with crazy people and especially since you are still in the process of fading. Whatever you respond would do nothing to sway her own convictions, but it might be cathartic for you just to write it and not send it.
since waking up i can't help but look at the future in a different way.
while i was working i felt it was ridiculous for me to start a 401k because i thought for sure the end would come before i retired.
but now, i'm a stay at home mom with very small children and it bothers me that i have done nothing to prepare for the future.
There are lot of great free resources for financial planning/advising out there. Check out your state university's extension page for any type of family and community department- most have short online programs for free that give you the basics. I know of one in particular- if you pm I can send you the info. There are also community education classes in local colleges that usually have some sort of finance class.
Now, getting some sort of education- whether it be a certificate or degree is easier than ever and will help a lot until you are ready to join the workforce again. There are online/weekend/evening classes available and you might even qualify for financial aid. It's totally doable. I did it while working and raising kids on my own. You have the support of a husband.
I personally feel education is the best route to go- the difference is just huge when you are looking for a job. Right off the bat you can access more job opportunities that have a degree requirement. Second your pay is going to depend a lot on your degree and experience. I agree so much with scratchme1010. Let go of that mentality of accepting "crumbs". That false humbleness that JWs have....oh just give me that crumb that fell off the floor, I'll be happy with that. Why? why not go for the gold? why not aspire to do more than entry level work? And this is coming from someone who did the grunt work and worked my ass off. It was totally worth it. I know it can be overwhelming, especially with few role models and examples when you grow up JW. But with information at our fingertips and resources, you can really set yourself up no matter what background you're coming from.
hey my old friends, i figured since this is where we landed when we first fled the watchtower, looking for support, back in '03, maybe i should pop back in and show you my latest project - i see some familiar faces around here.
i've been working on a website to function as part story, part news.
my plan is to feature what people are doing to integrate/reintegrate into their community - whether that's remaining in the xjw circles to help others who are leaving, or moving out into the larger social sphere and starting projects, being activists for other causes, etc.
This is a great idea! I personally did not write a letter or email to my family so as to save the little relationship we have, but I really applaud the courage it takes to write one.
It's so incredibly personal and gives a glimpse into someone's life to read their letters, especially for us exjws who can relate with so much of what is expressed.
do you remember the first time you found out "the truth about the truth"?.
yes, it was confronting, shocking and life altering.
yes it was hard to deal with.. but, along with that, many have said that they experienced a sense of thrill, euphoria, or joy when realising the facts about the religion that held us captive mentally and physically for so long.. it was liberating to learn some of the controversial teachings etc.
I didn't experience a "high" but it was very validating. After years of thinking I was the crazy one because I just didn't get it and thinking I must lack faith or not have studied hard enough or a hundred excuses why I was unhappy with the "truth" when everyone was so joyful about paradise... It was kind of like ohhhhhhh I was right all along and I should have trusted my instincts. But imagine being the lone dissenter among your family and friends. Every single person close to you believes whole heartedly and you're left scratching your head. It makes you seriously self-doubt.
Honesty with just a couple of things that I found out weren't true...that was enough. No more digging was needed. I didn't need to delve into old Watchtowers or books just to see how wrong it was. That was just overkill for me at that point.
its been awhile since i've commented but i come by and read your posts about once a week.
so why do i need a pep talk ?
after almost 2 years into my fade these bastards won't give it a rest constant hang ups on my answering machine and today for the first time in about 6 months they come to my apartment complex but thankfully couldn't get in they did keep buzzing me so they were here looking for me.
The best way to get rid of them is to move- far, far away. The best decision I ever made
you start listening to music deemed "unsuitable for christians".
you pretend to knock on the doors.
you explain a jw teaching to someone and realize how ridiculous it sounds.
made the mistake of opening the front door today...i was expecting someone to service our central heating...oh dear, it was a sister instead :(.
she tells me jehovah misses me.
it seems god only sees me if i go to the meetings.
The self righteousness of JWs really is crazy. So Jehovah misses you because you aren't going to meetings? But of course, you couldn't possibly be having a wonderful relationship with God outside of the JWs right? Apparanetly they have a monopoly on God.
I remember a family member of mine was telling me about an issue she was having and she was like..." But at least I can pray about it to God".....and I was thinking....yeah, everyone can pray to God and there are many Christians outside the JWs that have a fulfilling relationship with God and feel they are being blessed,etc. They are soooo deranged....
so 9 months before i started pioneering, i had a hot and heavy moment with this player witness who was just trying to string me along and talked to a lot of different girls.
we made out and he grabbed my goodies a few times you know the regular stuff all teens do at least once.
anyways i never saw him again because when i refused to send him nudes he dropped me.
Let's just think about that again. Pioneering is a "privilege". Wasting your time knocking on doors trying ro save them from Armageddon...because talking ro people directly about religion uninvited at their doors is the best way to open their minds...haha!
They just did you a giant favor. You're free now from your so called privilege. You sound like a sharp girl. Too sharp to be wasting your life peddling a dying religion.
i was brought up in the truth.
i saw a lot unchristian things going on in my local body of elders, my dad was an elder and waiting outside elders meetings to go home with my mum and other wives, we sometimes heard raised voices in the 2nd school.
the other mums would raise their voices as well thinking of something to say to hide the elders 'private' arguments.. my dad hated it all, i think he hated having to keep things secret from my mum and me.. anyway, i got baptised, and as we did back then didnt think about further education but instead pioneered.
Alot of us on the forum have gotten our degrees as "older" adults. That might be an option and it gives the kids an example to follow. That was part of the reason I went back to school.
I think one of the things that helped me the most once I left the organization is just figuring out what I really wanted to do with my life and working towards that. It's been a few years but I can honestly say that work has paid off. Kids are out/lots of good relationships with people.
A therapist once gave me some very good advice. She said the answer to "why" was "yes". I don't know why elders/my family/etc act the way they do. But we have to accept that's the way it is and make our choices accordingly. Personally, I could never go to meetings again because I am all too aware of the hypocrisy that is there and it no longer "fulfills" me.
Hope it gets better for you.
i remember an elder questioning a woman who had admitted to giving and receiving oral sex from her unbelieving mate.
he asked her the most intimate questions which clearly flustered her.
interestingly, she “confessed “ to the elders because her conscience bothered her.
@PeteZahut The birds of prey theory was going around strong in some congregations. I remember being on a vacation trip with my ex husbands family and the aunt looked at the sky at a flock of birds and commented that Armageddon was near because of the increase of birds of prey because they needed to help get rid of the bodies.....
The demon stories...where do i even start? It seems that there was always a JW moving into a house full of demons and when the elders searched the house there was a little stamp/medallion/cross of Jesus/Virgin Mary/Saint. As soon as they threw out the little medallion- everything was normal. The fact that this was around the time all the Poltergeist movies were popular just added to the paranoia and hysteria about demons.
1986- proclaimed year of "peace and security" - now Armageddon was really close! Everyone was buzzing with excitement that year.
