Posts by mentalclarity

70

What made you stay "in" even when you knew it wasn't the "truth"?

by mentalclarity in

so i've been thinking a lot about why i stayed a jw for so long even though i had always had doubts about the doctrines.

i was born into the religion, left and came back as an adult for another decade.

some of the things that come to mind (besides the threat of shunning-and this isn't to minimize that very real threat) was:.

mentalclarity

@millie210 family is the big one too! I don't have any family (siblings, aunts, uncles, cousins) who are not JWs. It would have been easier of at least one family member was not JW.

70

What made you stay "in" even when you knew it wasn't the "truth"?

by mentalclarity in

so i've been thinking a lot about why i stayed a jw for so long even though i had always had doubts about the doctrines.

i was born into the religion, left and came back as an adult for another decade.

some of the things that come to mind (besides the threat of shunning-and this isn't to minimize that very real threat) was:.

@sparrowdown- that's what happened with me too. I stopped going to meetings after hearing a talk by a CO on being "humble". That was the last straw - I just refused to be a drone...and then the doubts about the doctrines were confirmed once I had some distance.

@stuckinarut2 - fear of the unknown is right! or fear that it would be even worse outside. I always think of that movie "The Village" when trying to explain that to some.

70

What made you stay "in" even when you knew it wasn't the "truth"?

by mentalclarity in

so i've been thinking a lot about why i stayed a jw for so long even though i had always had doubts about the doctrines.

i was born into the religion, left and came back as an adult for another decade.

some of the things that come to mind (besides the threat of shunning-and this isn't to minimize that very real threat) was:.

mentalclarity

Maybe there are two type of JWs: those that believe and those that don't know any better. Born-ins and converts.

Which makes sense when you think about why some people leave because they find out about doctrinal issues and others leave because of being exposed to nice people who are "worldly" or see the hypocrisy inside the org.

70

What made you stay "in" even when you knew it wasn't the "truth"?

by mentalclarity in

so i've been thinking a lot about why i stayed a jw for so long even though i had always had doubts about the doctrines.

i was born into the religion, left and came back as an adult for another decade.

some of the things that come to mind (besides the threat of shunning-and this isn't to minimize that very real threat) was:.

mentalclarity

@chook that seems like the logical thing to do- once you realize it's not true..leave. But in my case, there were some "paybacks" I guess that kept me in a while longer until too many things added up and I'd had enough.

70

What made you stay "in" even when you knew it wasn't the "truth"?

by mentalclarity in

so i've been thinking a lot about why i stayed a jw for so long even though i had always had doubts about the doctrines.

i was born into the religion, left and came back as an adult for another decade.

some of the things that come to mind (besides the threat of shunning-and this isn't to minimize that very real threat) was:.

mentalclarity

@freddo I also tried harder at some point- even studying with someone (I think). I thought...all these people I admire in some way really "believe" - it must be me...I must be missing something. It was hard being the lone dissenter when people seemed to really be into it and I was just sitting there going..ok, this sounds nuts! I have to admit I sometimes envied those that believed....

Of course, then I found out I wasn't the only one..glad you did too!

70

What made you stay "in" even when you knew it wasn't the "truth"?

by mentalclarity in

so i've been thinking a lot about why i stayed a jw for so long even though i had always had doubts about the doctrines.

i was born into the religion, left and came back as an adult for another decade.

some of the things that come to mind (besides the threat of shunning-and this isn't to minimize that very real threat) was:.

mentalclarity

Yeah @herelgo - that is a big one if you're born into JWism- the whole "where will I go" and will I be successful looms over you. Constantly being told that JWs are like these incredibly special exceptions..you'll never meet people better than this.

My JW sister was commenting to her son how nice it was when coming out of the assembly hall parking lot how everyone let each other pass and were so nice to each other like it was this really spectacular event. I just rolled my eyes and thought how that happens a lot in other church parking lots. Not everyone outside are jerks. But imagine always hearing that since birth- it's deeply ingrained to mistrust everyone outside the org.

70

What made you stay "in" even when you knew it wasn't the "truth"?

by mentalclarity in

so i've been thinking a lot about why i stayed a jw for so long even though i had always had doubts about the doctrines.

i was born into the religion, left and came back as an adult for another decade.

some of the things that come to mind (besides the threat of shunning-and this isn't to minimize that very real threat) was:.

mentalclarity

So I've been thinking a lot about why I stayed a JW for so long even though I had always had doubts about the doctrines. I was born into the religion, left and came back as an adult for another decade. Some of the things that come to mind (besides the threat of shunning-and this isn't to minimize that very real threat) was:

I thought this would be a good environment to bring up my kids. I know, I know....super crazy. But you have to consider this was how I was brought up so it didn't seem weird and the only thing I knew about the world was this brief stint where I was around a bunch of young adults who had a lot of issues of their own (dysfunction attracts dysfunction, right?) At that time I didn't have any interaction with other parents,etc.

In all honesty my family has some rank in the org so it I got a lot of ego-stroking. That was instantaneous from others without me having to do anything at all. I basked in the status of my family (while always being an "on the fringes" JW). Outside the org I was just a regular person (probably feeling less than for an array of reasons) but inside I was really respected.

The social aspect. We got together a lot for bar b cues, trips, beach days, get togethers,etc It was a community that I felt comfortable in.

Fear. I was afraid of what was out in "world" and more afraid I didn't have the skills to maneuver being out of the org. I was emotionally immature, uneducated and not economically independent (my ex was working- I wasn't).

Guilt. I felt I had to do some sort of penance for the mistakes in my life. This included doing drugs/getting pregnant before marriage, etc. Going to meetings/service/studying were all ways to get that. I was working to get on God's good graces and I thought this was the way to do that. Do more!

Blessings! Yes, I thought if I was a really good JW everything in my life would be blessed. My marriage, job, etcs I guess just life in general.

Familiarity and knowing how things work. I was pretty adept and sizing up your spirituality and giving you what you wanted to hear. I talked trash with the double-lifers but I could talk the talk with the super spiritual. Since I grew up a JW I knew how to work around things so I could still do something things that were "on the edge" without getting in trouble.

I always had trouble believing in "Paradise" and many other doctrines that sounded nonsensical but I was all about the community until I realized there were great communities outside the org that weren't always judging you and genuine.

I'd be interested in hearing what made you stay in even though you realized this might not be the "truth".

34

Finally ready to join the crowd.

by Silent Knight in

jw
friends

hello, all you damn dirty apostates!

please, allow me to join this community of diseased minds.

i have been lurking here for over 2 years and tonight i decided it's time to come out of the shadows.

mentalclarity

Always makes me smile to see when someone connects all the dots and has that aha moment. That's exactly what happened to me about 10 years ago when I successfully faded and I'm so glad I had this site to post on.

Welcome, you are among people who understand without you even explaining much.

22

Witnessing to two JW elders

by Roger Kirkpatrick in

i was approached by two jehovah’s witness elders who handed me a pamphlet advertising the jw .org website.

each man carried a bible and an apple ipad.

they told me that they enjoyed visiting with people about the bible, and asked if i was a bible reader.

mentalclarity

Thanks @vanderhoven7 and Roger Kirkpatrick. I was having trouble finding it...

22

Witnessing to two JW elders

by Roger Kirkpatrick in

i was approached by two jehovah’s witness elders who handed me a pamphlet advertising the jw .org website.

each man carried a bible and an apple ipad.

they told me that they enjoyed visiting with people about the bible, and asked if i was a bible reader.

mentalclarity

Wow- I'm surprised they interacted with you long enough to go through all of that.

Could you tell me where in the July 2009 Awake I can find the quote? I'd like to real the whole thing in context!