Posts by mentalclarity

70

What made you stay "in" even when you knew it wasn't the "truth"?

by mentalclarity in

so i've been thinking a lot about why i stayed a jw for so long even though i had always had doubts about the doctrines.

i was born into the religion, left and came back as an adult for another decade.

some of the things that come to mind (besides the threat of shunning-and this isn't to minimize that very real threat) was:.

mentalclarity

Wow- so many great comments!

@scratchme110 sounds like you were wise to the whole "it's the truth" thing from the get go.

@tor1500 I never thought of lack of accountability because it's all the organization's fault as a reason. Makes sense. I also think it's mental laziness- no need to think for yourself.

@pale.emperor- yes! I thought it was a lovely place until I realized it wasn't so lovely. I remember one time someone in my congregation wanted to use my house to throw a baby shower for a young witness girl who had gotten pregnant as was publicly reproved. I was like..of course! Let's help her out. The elders told her it was a bad idea (because she was reproved) so they ended up having something super small with just family at her house. I just thought to myself- this isn't right. That is so unloving....

70

What made you stay "in" even when you knew it wasn't the "truth"?

by mentalclarity in

so i've been thinking a lot about why i stayed a jw for so long even though i had always had doubts about the doctrines.

i was born into the religion, left and came back as an adult for another decade.

some of the things that come to mind (besides the threat of shunning-and this isn't to minimize that very real threat) was:.

mentalclarity

@FedUpJW- I never had thought of that reason. jwfact is right- that's very loving of you.

@StephaneLaLiberte - seeing that depression, divorce, etc happened pretty frequently in congregations too made me start thinking it wasn't that special a religion. Sounds like your grandmother's genuine love helped debunk the myth about "worldly" people.

One of the main reasons I left when I did was because I couldn't imagine teaching these things to my kids and I started getting the feeling I was really going to mess them up psychologically if I did.

234

Suicide - How many do you know within the JWs

by Lady Lee in

thw wts likes to play games with their statistics.

one interesting but truly tragic is the number of jwhovah's witnesses who commit suicie.. now i suspect that if a person commits suicide shortly before or after they are disfellowshipped then the elders would say that person wasn't a witness or that they had done something so terrible that they were too guilty to admit it and by their action of committing suicide they pretty much declared they were no longer a jw.. yup fancy talk to make sure any crap didn't fall on them.. so my question.. do you know of cases like this?

if so then can you answer a few more questions.. had this person been dfed or in real danger of being dfed or whatever the equivalent is if they were never baptized?.

mentalclarity

@millie210- yeah it happened in the 80's but I learned about it a decade after and it was seen as a huge mistake on the way it was handled.

I remembered another suicide of someone who had been df'd in his teens. It was probably 15 years after so I really don't know what prompted it but his family were all JW so just makes me think maybe he could of reached out for help if he wasn't being shunned.

70

What made you stay "in" even when you knew it wasn't the "truth"?

by mentalclarity in

so i've been thinking a lot about why i stayed a jw for so long even though i had always had doubts about the doctrines.

i was born into the religion, left and came back as an adult for another decade.

some of the things that come to mind (besides the threat of shunning-and this isn't to minimize that very real threat) was:.

mentalclarity

@doubtfully yours - I completely understand. I think of some of my family who are a little older and this is all they have known and have 40 years or more invested in relationships inside the org- It would be hard to start from scratch on the outside and frankly I know so many that just do the bare minimum just to be able to stay in and associate with their friends and family.

234

Suicide - How many do you know within the JWs

by Lady Lee in

thw wts likes to play games with their statistics.

one interesting but truly tragic is the number of jwhovah's witnesses who commit suicie.. now i suspect that if a person commits suicide shortly before or after they are disfellowshipped then the elders would say that person wasn't a witness or that they had done something so terrible that they were too guilty to admit it and by their action of committing suicide they pretty much declared they were no longer a jw.. yup fancy talk to make sure any crap didn't fall on them.. so my question.. do you know of cases like this?

if so then can you answer a few more questions.. had this person been dfed or in real danger of being dfed or whatever the equivalent is if they were never baptized?.

mentalclarity

My JW uncle- they claimed he had mixed his meds by accident, but there was a note so everyone knew.

Three JW cousins of mine, 1 sibling all attempted while JW. My one cousin was publicly reproved a couple of decades ago because of it. All are still JWs.

116

What is behind your choice of forum user name?

by stuckinarut2 in

jw
friends

just curious how we all think.. what prompted or influenced your choice of username for this forum?.

there are some really amazing names, and it would be great to hear the stories behind them.... mine was nothing fancy.

i just felt "stuck in a rut too" along with so many others.

mentalclarity

I originally chose "mentalclearness" when I first left and started posting on this site 10 years ago. For some reason I was having issues signing back in with that username so I chose mentalclarity (I have a limited imagination..haha!)

It's a little ambitious- but just means I see things clearer now than before.

23

I started a new podcast about my life as a JW today

by dubstepped in

so, i did a thing today.

i officially launched a podcast called "this jw life".

people keep saying that i should write a book, but i don't even read books, unless in audio format.

mentalclarity

This is awesome! I'm sure it will be helpful to others and yourself. Good luck with the upcoming episodes!

70

What made you stay "in" even when you knew it wasn't the "truth"?

by mentalclarity in

so i've been thinking a lot about why i stayed a jw for so long even though i had always had doubts about the doctrines.

i was born into the religion, left and came back as an adult for another decade.

some of the things that come to mind (besides the threat of shunning-and this isn't to minimize that very real threat) was:.

mentalclarity

@millie210 family is the big one too! I don't have any family (siblings, aunts, uncles, cousins) who are not JWs. It would have been easier of at least one family member was not JW.

70

What made you stay "in" even when you knew it wasn't the "truth"?

by mentalclarity in

so i've been thinking a lot about why i stayed a jw for so long even though i had always had doubts about the doctrines.

i was born into the religion, left and came back as an adult for another decade.

some of the things that come to mind (besides the threat of shunning-and this isn't to minimize that very real threat) was:.

mentalclarity

@sparrowdown- that's what happened with me too. I stopped going to meetings after hearing a talk by a CO on being "humble". That was the last straw - I just refused to be a drone...and then the doubts about the doctrines were confirmed once I had some distance.

@stuckinarut2 - fear of the unknown is right! or fear that it would be even worse outside. I always think of that movie "The Village" when trying to explain that to some.

70

What made you stay "in" even when you knew it wasn't the "truth"?

by mentalclarity in

so i've been thinking a lot about why i stayed a jw for so long even though i had always had doubts about the doctrines.

i was born into the religion, left and came back as an adult for another decade.

some of the things that come to mind (besides the threat of shunning-and this isn't to minimize that very real threat) was:.

mentalclarity

Maybe there are two type of JWs: those that believe and those that don't know any better. Born-ins and converts.

Which makes sense when you think about why some people leave because they find out about doctrinal issues and others leave because of being exposed to nice people who are "worldly" or see the hypocrisy inside the org.