Posts by mentalclarity

45

What did NOT get you out?

by problemaddict 2 in

i realize this is odd, but a "how you woke up" thread and the personal stories that are told which i know we all enjoy, made me think of this.

in helping my wife and a couple others get the ball rolling, i realized the thing that resonated with me, didn't even move the needle with them.

i wanted to rail on and on about blood, because that was my conduit to waking up, but for my wife it was about shunning.

mentalclarity

It wasn't the UN/child sexual abuse/607 timeline/generation issues.

It wasn't the botched up committee meetings/love-less elders.

It was realizing that there was nothing "special" about JWs. All of my life I had been told that we were in this blessed organization that was so different and unique from all other religious organizations. Everyone outside of it was supposed to be struggling and unhappy and we had the "truth". Then I looked around at other religions and people and saw that it was a lie. There wasn't anything "special" about JWs. Alot of people were loving and helpful to others- alot of religions did humanitarian things that actually helped people now and the last straw was at meetings and seeing how psychologically damaging it would be to teach my children this. "We must be humble", "just endure until paradise", "don't invest in this system of things". So it was a combination of all these things- JW's are not perfect/other religions and people are "good"/it would be psychologically detrimental for my kids that did it for me.

The doctrines were just fluff.....(I'm a born-in so that makes a big difference- they always sounded bizarre, especially when they would try to apply specific scriptures to modern day events-like the early bible students being arrested and the "work" ceasing for a couple of years...I mean, c'mon-it's just weird. One verse has a modern day application and then we're back to it applying to early Christians and it's pretty arbitrary and benefits the JW history? Yeah, I never bought that.

34

Physically In, Mentally Out

by James Jack in

7 years ago i was this "ultra spiritual elder".

you name it, i was visible all over the region.

i was the coordinator, on the convention committee, rbc, had a talk at every convention and assembly, regular pioneer, etc.

mentalclarity

Welcome James Jack! There are a lot of comments on this thread full of wisdom.

Give yourself some time and space (without anything religious) and just be for a while. I know it sounds kind of hokey but honestly, after making every decision in my life based on what God wanted, it was necessary for me to just kind of sit with myself for a while without thinking about what the bible said, what jws said, what the secular world said. It was too overwhelming. I just couldn't figure it all out at once and I think it's tempting to to replace all those rules/bible knowledge/jw knowledge with something. You can little by little create a new belief system that reflects the unique individual that you are whatever that may be. Some on this forum are atheists/some are religious/some are spiritual. Get comfortable with not having all the answers. None of us have "all" the answers. I think that's the biggest psychological hurdle when leaving- there is this void that you feel you have to fill where there were all the answers and that is just not reality- the truth is their is no truth, at least in imo.

I guess what I'm saying is get comfortable with a certain level of uncertainty. That's really helped me.

23

The great tribulation is now coming VERY soon!

by The Searcher in

watchtower october 2017, par 11, page 28 - "very soon the political powers of satan’s world will form a coalition that is bent on the destruction of god’s people.

's] have anything to fear?

not at all!........at that critical moment during the great tribulation, the angelic soldiers of jehovah of armies will come together to protect god’s people..."[j.w.'s].

mentalclarity

Thanks for posting this.

@Doubtfully Yours- oh yes, the "Peace and Security" craze..good times, good times...

I knew when I read about the ban in Russia it was going to be used to prove the Great Tribulation. There's always something happening that makes the end just around the corner....

20

Dealing with Loneliness and Social Anxiety

by NoviceLocs14 in

hello, this is my 1st initiated post on this site, so i'm a bit nervous.

i did search for similar topics on this site, but a lot of them have been inactive for several years, so here goes.... a little background, i was pretty much born in "da twoof", baptized at 17, pioneered for about 6 years, was part of the rbc part time, and was even in the foreign language field for the last 3 years i was a jw.

so i pretty much had a pretty active social life within the organization due to being part of all of those things.

mentalclarity

Welcome! I can relate to your feelings as well and I don't think it's unique to just exjw's. If you are an adult over 25 and moved to a new community, you might struggle with the same issues. It takes time to get to know people and form friendships (for everyone). I personally think a few genuine friendships are much better than a dozen artificial ones.

If your daughter has friends from school/neighborhood many times you'll be able to meet and develop friendships with the parents. Don't be afraid to take the first step and invite them over for coffee or maybe a potluck dinner (nothing fancy).

If there is anything that interests you at all..even just a slight interest...look into that. Meetup groups are a great way to meet people-a lot of times the people are in the same boat as you. Maybe they just moved or got divorced and lost all their mutual friends (it happens) so don't think of yourself as the "odd" one.

Think about taking a class in something you're interested in. Photography? Dance lessons? Painting? Yoga? Meditation? Hiking? Cycling? Cooking? So many wonderful things are out there and without the restrictive prohibitions the world is really your oyster

Stay open-minded. Some of my closest friends now are very different from me. I love that! How boring when everyone thinks exactly as you do about everything and is your same age/same stage of life. Mix it up!

Volunteering is also a way to meet people. You can meet people who love animals, or want to improve the community, etc. It also helps to get outside of yourself and your own problems when you need some perspective.

11

Hotel California

by Normalfulla in

growing up was ok being a jw or so i thought, i guess u accept life as it comes when yr a kid , anyhow i played guitar and my elder dad (who is currently df) would forbid me to learn hotel california or even if it came on the radio he would run and quickly turn it off , .

he explained he had heard a tape recording at work that explained that this song along with stairway to heaven and others had back masking on it and when played backwards would say stuff like "satan has his own congregation " or other stuff like that , now this was not a jw sanctioned audio talk just some other christian production .. none of dad's other peers felt the same and growing up it illustrated to me dad's propensity to be influenced and convinced about something seemingly innocuous to others.. fast forward to a year or so ago and i showed him a section from the eagles documentary where don henley talks about the meaning of hotel california and how much trouble christian evangelists gave the song due to their own interpretation etc , so completely refuted the claims my father had told me were fact as a kid ,from the horses mouth so to speak .

his answer was ,"well of course he'd say that he wants to save face ,he wouldn't admit the truth !".

mentalclarity

I hadn't heard that about Hotel California but there was something about the song "Another One Bites the Dust".

At first when I read the title to this post I thought it was going to make reference to the part in Hotel California that says "you can check in but you can never check out" and compare it to the JWs..hahaha...

20

Episode 3 of "This JW Life" is now available.....

by dubstepped in

episode 3 is now out and available on itunes or whatever you use, as well as my site, linked below.

this one is heavier and about life at home growing up as a jw.

i even had an epiphany while recording it, which you'll hear as you listen.

mentalclarity

Hi Dubstepped - I listened to the third episode you posted and I'm so sorry you had to endure all that. That must really have been difficult. I'm embarrassed to admit that growing up as a JW I often looked at the elders families with a little envy because they seem to be so exemplary and happy. I can see from your story that appearances can be deceiving. Once I was a teenager, I realized that being an Elder's child was the WORST fate possible. If just being a regular JW was bad, being the elder's kids put 100 times more pressure on you to be perfect. It just goes to show that you might think you have it bad but there's always someone who has it worse.

I think there is a big spectrum in the hall of JW's - looks like your family was definitely on the more fanatical side.

22

Reunited With My Brother

by pale.emperor in

my little brother on the left exited the cult after 29 years.. me in the middle.. my older brother on the right stopped his bible study after discovering ttatton youtube videos.. never lose hope guys!.

.

mentalclarity

Nice pic! Thanks for posting

11

Ever heard of a brother being DFD and just walking away from family support?

by Crazyguy in

just wondering if there ever been a brother that got dfd and then was shunned by his wife and his at home kids and he's just said , if your going to treat me like this screw it and walked away from all his responsibilities as a provider etc?

it must be hard for those that are dfd to continue to support those that shun him?

again anyone hear of such a case?.

mentalclarity

thanks for posting the info @jp1692 - I think I've read something on this forum about adding something to the divorce agreement that restricts attendance to all meetings or conventions and going door to door. I would definitely be looking into some sort of legal means of limiting the indoctrination. There must be such a sense of powerlessness for df'd parents who have to share custody.

11

Ever heard of a brother being DFD and just walking away from family support?

by Crazyguy in

just wondering if there ever been a brother that got dfd and then was shunned by his wife and his at home kids and he's just said , if your going to treat me like this screw it and walked away from all his responsibilities as a provider etc?

it must be hard for those that are dfd to continue to support those that shun him?

again anyone hear of such a case?.

mentalclarity

This sounds like a terrible idea- depending on the age of the children the parent would be legally responsible and could even face jail time if they don't comply with child support,etc.

I was actually wondering if anyone has heard of a df'd parent bringing accusations of "parent alienation" against their JW ex spouse because it sounds to me if you are telling your kid their dad is going to die in armageddon and to shun him you might have a strong case.

65

My Younger Brother Has Left The Witnesses!! :-D

by pale.emperor in

absolutely thrilled to give you the news that my younger brother, a zealous full-time pioneer has left the witnesses!!.

i haven't seen or spoke to him in a year.

i'd lost all contact with him, no facebook, no mobile number, i didn't even know his address because he'd moved house.

mentalclarity

This is such great news! Thanks for posting. Keeps me hopeful that some of my family will leave some day.

Interesting about the depression- I noticed this before I left. All JWs always say how everyone is so happy inside the org but the more I looked around my congregation...seemed like everyone was on antidepressants or something.

So happy you got your brother back!