Pale, I truly feel sorry for your state of mind in this early stage of awakening. I feel your pain, I really do. At the same time it's a wonderful step to accept TTATT and that takes honesty and a lot of courage, congrats on that too...you DID IT!
You wrote:
People dont just "stop going", they "become weak and fall away". Or they "leave Jehovah".
All I can say is that time does heal. My wife and children accepted TTATT immediately after me and as a family it took us only 2, 3 meetings before we DID stop going 100%. We didn't want to expose ourselves to the WT lies and indoctrination any longer, and we still feel good about that crucial step. As an ex-elder, I knew how to play the game and avoided to be disfellowshipped. Looking back at the past 8 months of our fade, we can only say it worked well for us... (so far!)
But... every situation is different, I'm sure you may need more time. Time for yourself to heal, and time for a good fading strategy for the near future. Many who are not able to get out, just protect themselves by thinking about other things during the meetings, just observing the body language of Borg captives, or even reading social media or "apostate" websites on their tablets/smartphones. They also "vote" with their wallet, by not allowing one single penny to disappear in the belly of the beast! I'm sure you'll find a lot of comfort and similar situations on this forum...many suggestions already have been given here, so read and/or ask and choose what works best for you.
I wish you all the best in your situation and always remember...you're not alone!