Posts by OneFingerSalute

53

What's the craziest thing someone INFORMED on you about?

by Londo111 in

the culture of jws as encouraged by the watchtower is one of informing on one another, reporting to either the elders or ones designated head.

whats the wackiest thing that someone reported on you?

im not talking about a black-and-white watchtower rule that would land you in a judicial committee, but some judgmental nonsense that someone thought they should turn you in about?.

OneFingerSalute

Years ago an eldurrs punk kid wanted to borrow a cowboy hat from me for something or another. He came over after a midweek meeting, and when I answered the door I didn't have a shirt on. My future wife (now ex) was there and he turned me in for being "naked".

He had the reputation in the local high school of being a practicing drunk, drug abuser, and serial fornicator. But he was an eldurrs son so it was all good!

When the eldurrs "talked" to me about my inappropriate dress in front of a woman they also brought up that my vehicle had been seen late at night in front of a nightclub and that I should park a few blocks away so as not to "stumble" anyone.

180

What is the most bizarre counsel you received as a JW, from a JW?

by Funchback in

there were many addressed to me.

for example, i once had a sister tell me i was gambling because i liked playing skill crane (the machine where you have to try to pick up prizes like stuffed animals) at the arcade.

i then fired back a her: "you saw the r-rated movie 'backdraft.

OneFingerSalute

Seriously? Ankle bracelets on women?

Sounds like a dipshlt named Prouton. From the ASSembly platform he went on a rant about sisters wearing ankle bracelets concluding with this bit of asswiperery, "Whenever I see a sister with an ankle bracelet my first thought is 'tinkle, tinkle, here comes Jezebel!'"

62

What is the most strange action of a witness while out in field service?

by adjusted knowledge in

jw
friends

i was paired with this older "brother" when i was a teenager.

he was very very strange.

he was a nice guy but goofy.

OneFingerSalute

An older guy in the group had to pee, so he threw a whiz right there in the homeowners front yard. Mid-stream he yell out, "DAMMIT, I SHIT MY PANTS!"

Then we all got to sit in a small sub-compact vehicle with no AC and ride forty miles back to the KH in 90 degree F. weather.

13

Day Text - Sept. 19, 2015 - Obey even if not appear practical, sound, or strategic from a human standpoint - Reminder from WT 2013 Nov.15

by Muddy Waters in

day text -- saturday, september 19 - "he will certainly bring about deliverance from the assyrian."mic.

today, jehovah certainly has provided an abundance of spiritual men to shepherd his precious sheep, to strengthen his people for the future attack of the modern-day assyrian.

the most practical step that we can take to prepare for the coming attack of the assyrian is that of strengthening our faith in god and helping our brothers to do the same.

OneFingerSalute

This statement from that same day text is, in my opinion, even more gag worthy:

That faithful slave (GOVERNING BODY) is the channel through which Jesus is feeding his true followers in this time of the end. It is vital that we recognize the faithful slave (GOVERNING BODY). Our spiritual health and our relationship with God depend on this channel (GOVERNING BODY).

They have directly usurped the position of God himself by these words! Imagine the presumptuousness of claiming that they, and only they, are the ones we have to depend on for a relationship with God! So did Jackson lie when he said they didn't claim to be the sole channel, or are they lying here. I know, I know, BOTH!

29

Looking at the pics of Warwick... I'm chocked.

by StephaneLaliberte in

i am truly chocked and baffled by the number of volunteers they got for this project; especially in the states.

looking at one of their articles on the matter, they stated that a large portion of the printing work was delegated to other locations than ny, thus, they did not need as much space as they did in ny.

also, it was stated that operation cost in nyc were expensive.

OneFingerSalute

@Doc said

"They can brag about it. . .they can send back photos that everyone will oooh & aaah over."

That is pretty much the entire reason for anyone going there as far as I can see. The first eldurr from this area to go went for two weeks, and when he got back they had a special picture showing on the KH big screen TV. OFS refused to go and was scolded for not supporting the brothers hard work.

The second eldurr to go had to one up the first one so went for one month. Of course everyone is all abuzz about the "privilege" of working for free they got.

18

Are the Governing Body broadcasts promoted at Kingdom Hall meetings?

by nicolaou in

a question for those still attending i guess but are all these new jw.telemuppet.org broadcasts advertised to the the rank and file or is it more of a background thing?.

i'm wondering because i just can't believe my 70 year old die-hard jw mum would ever see them if she wasn't sat down in front of a screen and someone clicked 'play' for her.

i really want her to see the wizards behind the curtain.

OneFingerSalute

Promoted from the stage, and then the buzz for the rest of the week is all about, "Are you going to be at the broadcast showing?"

It is more about putting on a show of "spirituality" for men to see than anything else.

11

Today's Text

by snugglebunny in

.

OneFingerSalute

So IF as they claim it will be life saving instructions they throw out there for the sheeple, what excuse will they trot out when those same sheep DIE while following those instructions?

Yeah, I know; don't try to make sense out of non-sense.

21

Sheep who mate in front of stripey trees will produce stripey offspring

by purrpurr in

genesis 30:37 leaving aside the whole "joseph cheats laham out of his flock" issue.

one passage of scripture that i've missed until now is 30:37 where it says how joseph got all the sheep to be stripey etc ( btw have you ever seen a stripey sheep?

cos i certainly haven't!).

OneFingerSalute

Why does this remind me of this story?

Three pregnant women were in the doctors waiting room visiting about their pregnancies.

The first woman, a red head, said proudly, "My child will be a boy. My husband was on top when he was conceived!"

The second woman, a brunette, confidently proclaimed, "My child will be a girl. I was on top when she was conceived!"

The third woman, a blonde, began sobbing and wailed, "I'm having puppies!"

61

Today's Special Day Assembly Expenses and the $10,499 Deficit. Silent Majority?

by Tenacious in

today i attended a one-day assembly in my hometown.

i knew when it came time to read the afternoon expenses that it would be an incredibly high and ridiculous amount that was nowhere near the real expenses for that day.

sure enough, after lunch came the announcement.

OneFingerSalute

"Was there a baptism? Hope low numbers too."

715 attendance, 2 dunked. One about twelve, one about eighteen. Less than .3 %, must have been some of that TREMENDOUS GROWTH they kept yapping about!

61

Today's Special Day Assembly Expenses and the $10,499 Deficit. Silent Majority?

by Tenacious in

today i attended a one-day assembly in my hometown.

i knew when it came time to read the afternoon expenses that it would be an incredibly high and ridiculous amount that was nowhere near the real expenses for that day.

sure enough, after lunch came the announcement.

OneFingerSalute

I cannot stomach giving a run down on the ASSembly I was at today, as I have in the past.

But a few things stood out. They started with an aprox. $14,600 surplus, and by the time they got done sending the required tithe to "mother", paid for the site expenses (rented) etc. added "contributions at this time", they had a grand total left of a $949.00 surplus. "we thank you brothers (idiots) for your generous spirit in taking the opportunity to show Jehovah your appreciation for this ASSembly by placing your contributions in the conveniently placed boxes."

Other than that most of it was the SOS. Give more, do more, study more, pray more, less education, less secular work, less social contacts, less charity, less technology unless it is JDubya dot org or JDubya TV.