Hi Addison,
This reminded me of the inconsistency of WT logic. For example, if an elder's child who lives at home gets DFed, the BOE is supposed to review that elder's qualifications to see whether he still qualifies to serve as an elder.
In one case I knew of, an elder's at home child got DFed. The BOE continued using the elder for some 5 months before the CO ordered them to meet with the elder to review him. In my mind the BOE did the same thing as the situation you described, and, logically, that should have cancelled out any review of the elder's qualifications. By continuing to use the elder for five months, their actions in effect said that the elder was still qualified to serve as an elder. But they don't see it that way.
And try using that example in the marriage infidelity example you gave. You won't get any where with the elders. Logic and fairness never win over following WT rules.