Posts by Saethydd

8

Growing Up Strange (even for a JW)

by GizmoSnicket in

i've been meaning to join an online ex-jw community for quite some time, and finally have made the effort to do so.

i was raised in a small/mid size city in the northeast united states.

i am currently 27 years old, just about five years fully out of the organization (after about two years of "fading" away).

Saethydd

I was also baptized before I was anywhere close to mature (10 years old) and even though both my parents where in the truth things could be a little inconsistent. I feel like me and my sister got the short end of the stick as opposed to our older siblings. They both went to a public high school and got to watch what would be considered bad by some Witnesses (Pirates of the Caribbean, Lord of the Rings, etc.) But after they both graduated and got married it’s like my mother wanted to turn the dial up on our “spirituality.” (Though with limited success) Me and my sister started homeschooling when I was in sixth grade so that me, her, and my mother could regular pioneer. (never got more than thirty hours and got asked by the elders to withdraw six months in) I didn’t mind homeschooling at the time because I didn’t have many friends anyway, though it definitely caused me difficulties when I started college. After my oldest siblings moved out my parents also tried to have a weekly family study, (which we never had when my older siblings lived there) which was incredibly boring and fortunately only worked out once every month or two.

I’m very glad I found a non-religious girl who is very happy being that way. I would hate to ever put my children in a position like the ones you or I were put in growing up.

18

My Reflections On a Year of Freedom

by Saethydd in

in late may 2017, i told my parents how i really felt about the religion they had raised me in, and by early june i was out of their house.

i've done a lot since then.

i let my hair and beard grow out a bit.

Saethydd

I also recently updated my profile picture, which was taken by my girlfriend when we graduated together earlier this year. She and those on this forum are among the major influences that helped me once I left the cult behind.

18

My Reflections On a Year of Freedom

by Saethydd in

in late may 2017, i told my parents how i really felt about the religion they had raised me in, and by early june i was out of their house.

i've done a lot since then.

i let my hair and beard grow out a bit.

Saethydd

In late May 2017, I told my parents how I really felt about the religion they had raised me in, and by early June I was out of their house. I've done a lot since then. I let my hair and beard grow out a bit. I've engaged in entertainment that is considered to be "inappropriate for a Witness." (Game of Thrones, Breaking Bad, and Mr. Robot are all fantastic TV shows) I've attended fan conventions and other events I never would have as a Witness. I've celebrated my birthday and a number of other major holidays. I've started working to improve the world instead of just waiting for some god to come along and fix all of my problems for me. I graduated with a technical degree in computer science and am set to pursue a Bachelor's in Electrical Engineering this fall. I participated in an internship for Physics/Math majors at a prestigious university. I've helped another person make the decision to leave the Watchtower behind. I reconnected with some of my cousins who were considered "bad association" and am so happy to have them back in my life. I fell in love with a girl and we moved into our own place together a few weeks ago. Her family has practically adopted me and are always happy to see me at their family gatherings.

I am happy. For a year I have lived as my true self without worrying about whether this is something "a Witness is supposed to do."

Yes, I miss my family, and yes I miss my old friends, but I am still so much happier having made the decision to unapologetically be my authentic self instead of trying to mask my true identity to hang on to those relationships because I've realized something. If I had lied about who I was for this past year then I still wouldn't have those relationships, rather, some fictional version of myself, some facade I had invented would have the relationships with "my" supposed friends. My true self would be so far removed from what they saw that if they ever saw the real me I would be a stranger to them, much as I am now I suppose.

To anyone who is contemplating staying in the religion to maintain an image and keep your friends, I ask you to please consider this: If you cannot be honest with someone about who are and what you want, are they really your friend anyway?

45

Why Did JWs Abandon Brooklyn for the Sticks?

by Room 215 in

i may have missed this, but can anyone tell me what was the pretext the gb concocted to justify their abandonment of a perfectly suitable, high-profile, high-visibility complex in what is arguably the world's greatest metropolis for the bucolic isolation of upstate new york.

any how does the move square with their purported belief in the imminence of armageddon?

.

Saethydd

I recall several JW's discussing how "wise" it was to get out of a big city like New York before the "great tribulation."

7

Akward moment.

by poopie in

jw
friends

have a buddy that's disgellowshi and an uber driver and he is shunned like crazy.

recently he picked up jw that was forced to say hello and greet him akward..

Saethydd

Ah, the awkwardness of JW’s having to interact with disfellowshipped people can be quite funny. I remember some months back when I was volunteering to help run the sign in table for a community event that encourages reading and a few JW’s showed up, and I could just feel the discomfort.

111

Is he interested?

by Sunnybear in

i met a wonderful man on match.com several months ago.

on our first date, there was amazing chemistry and we ended up having sex.

it was not planned, it just happened.

Saethydd

I told him I wanted to end it and he refused. He wants to keep seeing me and spending time together. He texts me all day and we see each other once a week.

This line is particularly troubling for me because it along with the other information tells me volumes about this man's character. In short he's selfish, he cares far more about his own feelings than yours. Additionally, he is coward that will not stand up for whatever it is truly believes in and that is why he won't openly enter a "relationship" with you right now.

Jehovah's Witnesses aren't supposed to date people who are not Jehovah's Witnesses, but if he's with you secretly and having sex with you, then he obviously doesn't care about violating those "moral" standards privately, only publicly when he would have consequences to face. That, in and of itself, is a dangerous mentality, it's the same one used by abusive mates who like to put on a front that everything at home is perfectly alright. If a man only puts on his moral standards when other people are around, then what's going to happen when he stops putting them on for you too?

The reason he asked you to "start meeting with his mom and another female JW to discuss the contents of the book" is because he wants them to convert you to his religion so that things will be less difficult on him, not because he cares about you. It's most definitely not because he thinks it's such great religion because if he did, not only would he be teaching you about it himself, but he also wouldn't be blatantly disregarding its rules.

My advice to you is to leave this relationship and find someone who wants to be with you as you are without having to change something so fundamental about yourself first, and someone who can be with you honestly and openly without fearing what other people will say or do.

It's your choice of course, that is just what I believe to be the wisest course of action, and I could be wrong about him, but I would exercise caution if I were you.

EDIT: Additionally, another option is open to you, you could try and get him away from this religion that he clearly doesn't want to be a part of deep down, because if I had to guess most of the emotional and commitment issues he has are probably stemming from that situation continuing, in any case it would be far better for both of you than you also getting sucked into the Orwellian night mare that is the JW religion.

52

Have you ever gone back to a meeting out of curiosity?

by stuckinarut2 in

just wondering if anyone has gone back to a meeting out of curiosity?

(perhaps to an area far from your old khall where you know no one).

with all the changes from 2012 onwards (videos, tv screens, new meeting format, new songs etc) it would be an odd experience to be in attendance!.

Saethydd

I've thought about bringing my best friend to one just to see how many JW's would be slack-jawed when I walk in with my scruffy beard, shoulder length hair, and a girl on my arm who has several piercings, an undercut with a design shaved into it, and who would either be wearing a short dress or rather tight pants.

28

What do I do ?

by jdash in

hey guys, this is my first time posting on here but lets get started.. so i'm a 17 year old boy who currently attends meetings at a congregation in indianapolis.

i live with my grandparents, on my father's side, because my mother died in 2010. i been attending meetings since i was 10. my mother got into the religion but then got disfellowshiped.

my dad is on and off, he currently just got reinstated.

Saethydd

I was in a similar position to you. I woke up in college, after I woke up I met the person who has turned out be my best friend, she gave me a place to stay when my parents made me leave.

For college you can try for scholarships, and if you live in the United States you should be able to fill out something called FAFSA, you might qualify for a Pell Grant or a federally subsidized loan to start your schooling. You said brother is disfellowshipped? Am I right in thinking that he's older? Maybe he could give you a place to stay through this, I would definitely talk to him about all f this.

8

Friends

by Jrjw in

jw
friends

hi does anyone have any ideas of good places for me to make non jw friends when i move coz need to replace all my jw friends for my kids and i ready for becoming inactive.

Saethydd

My recommendation would be to find an activity you enjoy and start making friends there. I personally have made some amazing friends through my college classes, online video games, and fan conventions.

Perhaps you could take a local class in some hobby or skill like painting or cooking and try to meet people there. If you want to meet people with children so your own kids could make some friends too you could try becoming more involved in their education and extracurricular activities. If one of your kids joined a team of some sort that would give you an opportunity to meet the parents of the other children on the team.

121

Did man really go to the moon?

by atomant in

l have researched this subject and come to the conclusion that no we didn't.what do others think?.

Saethydd

Pfffft. You believe in the moon? You poor ignorant soul.