Freedom rocks-Does anyone else feel overwhelmed on what to believe?
I've been doing lots of research on beliefs, evolution, creationism but I feel no further forward about what I truly believe.
For example I looked at the fossil record and tiktaalic and thought great it proves a lot but then I've seen counter arguments on YouTube of people basically saying its a load of rubbish and doesn't prove anything.
I'm left confused because there seems to be strong arguments for and against most theories and discoveries.
12 years ago after I had saved up 100,s of books of all kinds of spirituality, religions, archaeology and more I moved in to the mountains off the grid and while working my two full time jobs and learning to live off the grid I read most all of them. MIND FUCKING BLOWN.
The first year was great. The next 4 were a living hell. Why? because the only thing left to pick apart for me was my belief system.
Let me tell you, you do not know yourself unless you live isolated in the mountains with no human interaction for months at a time(no internet, just books and nature) then every tiny 'demon' you have hidden in the depths of your mind will surface.
It drove me to madness and I got help. But I understand myself in a way I never thought possible.
And if I thought going off the grid was hard. Coming back on and diving into technology has been equally as hard if not harder now.
I always dreamed of living off the grid growing up and I did it. I saw so many things. Grizzlies, mountain lions, cougars, and much more.
One of my summers in the mountains I remember a plant I had never seen before that had purple flowers on it and I was so lonely I would talk to it. It didnt talk back.lol. Unless you count just feeling connected to the peace it brought me when nothing else did.
I cant believe 'nor others' that I went to such extremes to escape my own mindand find it and bebunk it.. Yet what I really did or how it played out is I learned more about myself then I could have ever learned. It turned out I couldn't escape myself nor the abuse from the wtbts cult. For me it accelerated the deprogramming. And broke my heart.
Now I still live pretty far out and am trying to reintegrate back into society and it has been a very long process.
I find that spirituality is a never ending spiral even after all that experience and I also found that people need people.
So much much more I could say about my experience but I digress for now.
To the OP, thousands upon thousands of years and people are still 'Looking'. I dont think we will find the "answers" in our life time in a framework that is operating on a flawed premise.
Science,hard facts, archaeology, are a decent place to start. Imo.
Caves