I'm still attending meetings so I'm playing a character. Don't enjoy that, even feel bad when coming back home after the meetings.
When I first woke up, I thought I could fake it even for the rest of my life of necessary. I tried to do so to keep my girlfriend but I couldn't. Then I realised it condemned me to a life of misery and unhappiness.
I'm fading, have a plan to leave the religion but still feel the same and the more meetings I attend, the worst it becomes.
I'm trying to know myself better as every aspect of my personality was modelled by the WT. I hadn't realised before the influence the WT got on my personality, way of life, opinions and decisions.