Posts by Clambake

50

Demon Stories

by humblepotato in

jw
friends

so we all know that "crazy" brother or sister.

every kingdom hall has one.

they give the best comments (from a hilarious perspective), have experiences with the "demons", but most importantly, they are on about 10 deifferent kinds of medications.

Clambake

So

How does the WTS get rid of demons ? Is there like a special C.O that doubles as exorcist ?

I imagine the WTS feels kind of bad that freaky stuff only happens to other denominations of false religion, so I assume they are just lying.

To me there are literally times people make such stupid and blasphemous comments about the magical seven replacing Jesus, it almost seems like there is an evil entity behind it. I keep expecting the WTS reader's head to do a 360 and start puking pea soup sometimes.

64

The "Final Push" before the GT!!! I think they REALLY believe it!

by DATA-DOG in

i don't know if i have shared this with everyone, but there seems to be a new theocratic term, at least in my circuit.. the term is "final push.

" wtf does it mean?

well, an eldub said that the gb are "all in" with warwick and they might spend all their money on the project.

Clambake

The other day me and the wife were watching survivor man on television and she said " pay attention, we might need these skills during the great tribulation " and I replied " no need, I am going to be raptured out of here".

She looked at me kind of dumbfounded. You mean other religions talk about this kind of stuff too.

I thought it was kind of funny.

Given the fact the U.N isn't in the process of banning all religions while the JWs are holding there own, I don't know how the average DUB kind really get excited about this kind of stuff.

5

UBM Funeral

by Clambake in

my wives friends husband from the hall died.

he wasnt a jw but she has been one for more than 60 years.

the funeral for him is going to be a lutheran church.

Clambake

I hope it’s an eye opener for my wife how you can give a lifetime to the borg and the one time you need them, they just don’t give two shits about you.

39

Are Elders experts on the Bible? Are they spirtually qualified men?

by John Aquila in

how many times have elders read their bible in its entirety?

these are the leaders that give counsel to married couples, to teenagers, to single girls and single boys on everything from marriage, education, sex, association, dress, and recreation..

how well do they know their bible?

Clambake

I like to believe once you explain to the JWs that the new testament is the story of Jews then the Gentiles, the nation of Israel to the body of Christ ( all believers in Christ ) all JW theology becomes quite silly.

Heavenly hopers, earthly hopers, slaves classes, changing lights, overlappers .

It sounds like Star Wars to me.

Are the elders spiritual men ?? Ha. Ha. Ha. They read the bible like it was a speeding ticket and are looking for a technically get to get off.

5

UBM Funeral

by Clambake in

my wives friends husband from the hall died.

he wasnt a jw but she has been one for more than 60 years.

the funeral for him is going to be a lutheran church.

Clambake

So

My wives friend’s husband from the hall died. He wasn’t a JW but she has been one for more than 60 years.

The funeral for him is going to be a Lutheran church. Now I am wondering how many JWs are going to show up at his funeral to support her.

I am kind of hoping it might be one of those wake up moments for my wife. Too bad this guy was such an asshole. It was literally almost funny how much of a prick he was.

26

Witnesses called for a bible study

by umbertoecho in

hello all.. i haven't been here for some time to post as mainly i read the comments and such.

yesterday was a really interesting, unnerving experience though.

two sisters had called last week when i had an abscess on my tooth and was sort of sick from it.

Clambake

I always like to give JWs a statement of faith. I believe the bible is the story of God and the Jewish people and god and his church and the transfer of blessings to the church AKA the body of Christ. The old covenant to the new covenant. Being reconciled to god by having a relationship with Jesus Christ.

What do you believe ??

At that point they usually leave.

If they don’t leave and start giving you the sales pitch start asking questions

Where does it say membership in the new covenant is limited ?
I believe the texts are you referring too are reference to the jews and the gentiles. What makes you believe they are the earthly hope and heavenly hope ?
How many of Jesus parables are directly prophecies ? What is the difference between a prophecy and a parable ?
Explain to me long a generation is in the bible and how you just noticed this when the generation that wasn’t suppose to die, all died.
There are over 300 prophecies about the coming messiah in the old testament fulfilled in the new testament, you would think if gods plan for humanity was to give us 7 men in New York, you would think it would be a common theme throughout the old testament.

Now answer my question just using your bible.

You will never see them ever again.

74

Is Prophecy important?

by EA916 in

hello, i am certainly new to all of this.

i have recently been studying the prophecy's, and i was wondering if they are of any importance at all?

Clambake

Getting back to the subject on hand , JW obsession with the book of Daniel and Revelation is not because they are sincere students of the scriptures, it is because playing da Vinci code with the bible gives them a smug sense of moral superiority. There are no mysteries to a JW because they have magical men in Brooklyn who have it all figured out , unlike the false religions of Christendom.

Does the average JW really understand it ………ha ……….not a chance.

I was raised in a plain old evangelical church and I was taught it was good to interested in this kind of stuff but there is also a danger in it also. There is no real point wasting all your time trying to crack codes and prove the unprovable.

As for the bible haters here, don’t waste your time with them. The bible is of remarkable connections. They are nothing more JWs, they just don’t know it. WTS are not trying to teach the bible, they are trying to disprove it. Isolating one verse at a time, while ignoring the big picture.

13

DO YOU EVER THINK ABOUT the things people believe about JESUS?

by Terry in

do you ever "think about" the things you just take for granted about the story of jesus?.

there are things about christianity which should make honest thinkers scratch their head in wonder.. **.

when beloved (or hated) public figures are murdered (or executed), some rather large waves of reaction ensue.. there are two kinds of outcry both speculative and descriptive.

Clambake

IMHO

The WTS is essentially just a nutty conspiracy theory that turned into a cult.

I really wish people wouldn’t any mind too stuff like this because you are essentially just thinking like a JW again. You spend all your time studying rubbish you fry your brain and turn into Robert King.

86

Updated Chronological Timeline of the Great Tribulation -- after the New Light from July Watchtower

by FusionTheism in

the july 15, 2015 study watchtower article entitled "your deliverance is getting near", along with the jw broadcasting video entitled "gerrit losch: fortified by "the prophetic word," and chapter 21 of the god's kingdom rules!

book presented a large amount of new light or clarified understanding of the events of the great tribulation.. here i am presenting it in chronological order -- this is the governing body's updated chronological order of events for the time right before the great tribulation through armageddon:.

the final sealing of the anointed occurs just prior to the outbreak of the tribulation.

Clambake

I am not really sure how a coalition of nations from central Asia to North Africa is going to attack the all the Jehovah Witnesses. How many kingdom halls are actually in the Middle East.

At least the evangelical view of Christianity with Israel and the church ( AKA, Christians, the body of Christ ) being two different things and Israel being attacked by a shitload of Muslims in the end days is at least is somewhat plausible.

I just don’t see the logistical possibility of it even happening.

5

Is Rank a sign of gullibility?

by John Aquila in

there was a man who was baptized in my old hall in his mid-30s and was into everything.

one day i stopped by his house and he opened the door and he was in his white saggy underwear and had this green goo all over his head, chest and legs.

he had purchase on the internet this formula that would grow hair.

Clambake

I was in a hall where we had token elders who were converts with a body of born ins that were the real heavy weights. The token elders were just construction labours and janitors.

Too me it reminded me of pro wrestling where you had the stables ( D-X, the four horsemen, the Hart Foundation ) where you had the major players ( Shawn Michaels, HHH, Rick Flair, Brett Hart ) and the rest of the members are pretty interchangeable.

It really surprised me how quickly converts moved though the ranks while three generation born-ins had no intentions of going anywhere in the borg.

To me it seem like you have to be a real asshole or have a below average IQ to serve as an elder.