Posts by Clambake

they give the best comments (from a hilarious perspective), have experiences with the "demons", but most importantly, they are on about 10 deifferent kinds of medications.

Clambake

I make a least one Simpsons reference a day at work. LOL. It pisses my co-workers off.

You forgot the Rich Texan, McBane, Doctor Hebert and Count Chocula.

Man, the Simpsons were so good from about 1991 to 2001. I really have no interest in the new ones.

69

Breaking News: Anthony Morris III comments on Ireland legalization of gay marriage.

by cappytan in

jw
friends

#notsatire.

thanks to wifibandit and pixel for collaborating on this.

more to come.... https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=cxce4duetw8.

Clambake

Did he just call his wife a lesbian ??

Or maybe he just wants to the hamburger helper in a lesbian sandwich.

50

Demon Stories

by humblepotato in

jw
friends

so we all know that "crazy" brother or sister.

every kingdom hall has one.

they give the best comments (from a hilarious perspective), have experiences with the "demons", but most importantly, they are on about 10 deifferent kinds of medications.

Clambake

So

How does the WTS get rid of demons ? Is there like a special C.O that doubles as exorcist ?

I imagine the WTS feels kind of bad that freaky stuff only happens to other denominations of false religion, so I assume they are just lying.

To me there are literally times people make such stupid and blasphemous comments about the magical seven replacing Jesus, it almost seems like there is an evil entity behind it. I keep expecting the WTS reader's head to do a 360 and start puking pea soup sometimes.

64

The "Final Push" before the GT!!! I think they REALLY believe it!

by DATA-DOG in

i don't know if i have shared this with everyone, but there seems to be a new theocratic term, at least in my circuit.. the term is "final push.

" wtf does it mean?

well, an eldub said that the gb are "all in" with warwick and they might spend all their money on the project.

Clambake

The other day me and the wife were watching survivor man on television and she said " pay attention, we might need these skills during the great tribulation " and I replied " no need, I am going to be raptured out of here".

She looked at me kind of dumbfounded. You mean other religions talk about this kind of stuff too.

I thought it was kind of funny.

Given the fact the U.N isn't in the process of banning all religions while the JWs are holding there own, I don't know how the average DUB kind really get excited about this kind of stuff.

5

UBM Funeral

by Clambake in

my wives friends husband from the hall died.

he wasnt a jw but she has been one for more than 60 years.

the funeral for him is going to be a lutheran church.

Clambake

I hope it’s an eye opener for my wife how you can give a lifetime to the borg and the one time you need them, they just don’t give two shits about you.

39

Are Elders experts on the Bible? Are they spirtually qualified men?

by John Aquila in

how many times have elders read their bible in its entirety?

these are the leaders that give counsel to married couples, to teenagers, to single girls and single boys on everything from marriage, education, sex, association, dress, and recreation..

how well do they know their bible?

Clambake

I like to believe once you explain to the JWs that the new testament is the story of Jews then the Gentiles, the nation of Israel to the body of Christ ( all believers in Christ ) all JW theology becomes quite silly.

Heavenly hopers, earthly hopers, slaves classes, changing lights, overlappers .

It sounds like Star Wars to me.

Are the elders spiritual men ?? Ha. Ha. Ha. They read the bible like it was a speeding ticket and are looking for a technically get to get off.

5

UBM Funeral

by Clambake in

my wives friends husband from the hall died.

he wasnt a jw but she has been one for more than 60 years.

the funeral for him is going to be a lutheran church.

Clambake

So

My wives friend’s husband from the hall died. He wasn’t a JW but she has been one for more than 60 years.

The funeral for him is going to be a Lutheran church. Now I am wondering how many JWs are going to show up at his funeral to support her.

I am kind of hoping it might be one of those wake up moments for my wife. Too bad this guy was such an asshole. It was literally almost funny how much of a prick he was.

26

Witnesses called for a bible study

by umbertoecho in

hello all.. i haven't been here for some time to post as mainly i read the comments and such.

yesterday was a really interesting, unnerving experience though.

two sisters had called last week when i had an abscess on my tooth and was sort of sick from it.

Clambake

I always like to give JWs a statement of faith. I believe the bible is the story of God and the Jewish people and god and his church and the transfer of blessings to the church AKA the body of Christ. The old covenant to the new covenant. Being reconciled to god by having a relationship with Jesus Christ.

What do you believe ??

At that point they usually leave.

If they don’t leave and start giving you the sales pitch start asking questions

Where does it say membership in the new covenant is limited ?
I believe the texts are you referring too are reference to the jews and the gentiles. What makes you believe they are the earthly hope and heavenly hope ?
How many of Jesus parables are directly prophecies ? What is the difference between a prophecy and a parable ?
Explain to me long a generation is in the bible and how you just noticed this when the generation that wasn’t suppose to die, all died.
There are over 300 prophecies about the coming messiah in the old testament fulfilled in the new testament, you would think if gods plan for humanity was to give us 7 men in New York, you would think it would be a common theme throughout the old testament.

Now answer my question just using your bible.

You will never see them ever again.

74

Is Prophecy important?

by EA916 in

hello, i am certainly new to all of this.

i have recently been studying the prophecy's, and i was wondering if they are of any importance at all?

Clambake

Getting back to the subject on hand , JW obsession with the book of Daniel and Revelation is not because they are sincere students of the scriptures, it is because playing da Vinci code with the bible gives them a smug sense of moral superiority. There are no mysteries to a JW because they have magical men in Brooklyn who have it all figured out , unlike the false religions of Christendom.

Does the average JW really understand it ………ha ……….not a chance.

I was raised in a plain old evangelical church and I was taught it was good to interested in this kind of stuff but there is also a danger in it also. There is no real point wasting all your time trying to crack codes and prove the unprovable.

As for the bible haters here, don’t waste your time with them. The bible is of remarkable connections. They are nothing more JWs, they just don’t know it. WTS are not trying to teach the bible, they are trying to disprove it. Isolating one verse at a time, while ignoring the big picture.