good morning, .
i am just wondering how you have constructively worked through the emotions of waking up?
i am trying hard to be positive, and i know life is a gift.
From personal experience, one way I would recommend: Therapy. Therapy with someone who incorporates EMDR into the sessions might do wonders for you. It's the same sort of thing combat vets deal with, PTSD and all.
just a thought and perhaps this has been discussed before but no jehovah's witness ever actually dies in the truth.
pick a year, any year.
if a jw died in say 1920 or 2020 or whatever...the doctrines change so much and so fast that what is "truth" today is "untruth" the next within this religion.
Just a thought and perhaps this has been discussed before but No Jehovah's Witness ever actually dies in the truth.
Pick a year, any year. If a JW died in say 1920 or 2020 or whatever...the doctrines change so much and so fast that what is "truth" today is "untruth" the next within this religion.
Maybe it would be a sobering line of discussion to have with some JW's. That, 'your truth today might just get you disfellowshipped tomorrow if you continue to believe it.'
example: Millions resurrected that died before 1954, come to life in a 'resurrection center' and immediately begin to praise Jesus...WAIT, STOP! A booming voice over the loudspeaker "dear friends...we don't praise Jesus anymore, the Watchtower said not to do that back in 1954" ... WTF?
Just a thought.
my spouse assumed that being honest would feel liberating.
appointments were made with pimi parents to let them know of the decision to no longer be a jw.
before the tall nonfat latte at starbucks was half drunk and after her parents asked several direct questions, they stood up, hugged her and said "well this is goodbye, return to jehovah and we'll pick up right where we left off, we love you," and walked out the door.
My spouse assumed that being honest would feel liberating. Appointments were made with PIMI parents to let them know of the decision to no longer be a JW. Not D/A, just done. Before the tall nonfat latte at Starbucks was half drunk and after her parents asked several direct questions, they stood up, hugged her and said "well this is goodbye, return to Jehovah and we'll pick up right where we left off, we love you," and walked out the door.
I had to leave work and go get her because she was in such a state of shock. Hours later and she has cried herself to sleep.
I am able to power through the semi-shunning of my parents because I WAS THEM! I shunned family and friends galore while I climbed the WT ladder then got near the top only to find there was no one there. I understand why they do and say what they do. I love them and will be there for them if the day comes and they wake up.
But for my wife. Since baptism 30 years ago, she never wanted anything but a close relationship with God and to have a circle of friends. She has always looked for the good. Hated placements in service choosing to usually just offer a scripture of encouragement and be a listening ear. She has always cared less about JW dogma and apologetic discussions. She watched me climb the ladder, kiss arse, brown nose, hone the theocratic skills, JC committee draining, ect. I recently asked her why she always supported me through my narcissistic JW travels and her answer was, "I always figured I rather you do that than have no beliefs and sit at home. At least we were together."
I so wish I could take away her pain. Seeing her the way she is, the effect of JW doctrine coming to life in a sterile rejection from her parents, makes it so much more clear we are doing the right thing. Our children/grandchildren will never have to shun us nor us them.
Aside from time and love/patience from me, thoughts on what else can be done to help her heal?
new to this forum.
i ran across it when watching lloyd evans videos and searching out jw links.
i left the cult many years ago after a long stint in it.the cult caused me much pain and problems even though i left.
Hello Toby and from Georgia USA: Welcome!
i knew of several elders who would tell their wife's everything that happened in a committee meeting.
he is still and elder and very old but i doubt he has changed.
we used to call him.
101% absolutely.
Confidentiality is a beautiful thing. Breaking confidentiality is nasty. JW elders are generally nasty and (not all) but the majority are 101% guilty.
Every 90 days I would gather agenda points from the elders on our BOE and inevitabily would have to ask several times a year "Brother Shitstirrer is this matter a result of your prayerful thoughts or input from your wife or family member?"
Fast forward to BOE meetings, including the last one I chaired in 02-2018. One elder started his concern with "I was talking to my wife last night and she is really concerned about sister opinionated who got in the face of sister bestlife ever in the Kroger parking lot and now brother bestlifeever is threatening to beat the shite out of sister opinionated" Ahh, so your wife asked that we discuss the matter. WAIT! Time out brothers, how about we talk about something much more pressing that brothers shitstirrers wife is concerned about, and that would be Brother Canthink4himselfs new beard!
As far as between elders...I call it "back channeling". If I had a dollar for every time another elder wanted to 'have lunch' to discuss a matter behind other elders backs and sway the feelings of others......gosh id have enough money to pay cash for all the PTSD cult recovery psychiatrist sessions i now require.
To this very day, elders are trying to "connect dots" as to where me and my family are, what we are doing, what % of meetings we are attending (which is -0%), are we attending in other congs, what are we talking to others about, are we associating with disfellowshipped people, ect.... Ha, my kids are prepared to offer 1 Thessalonians 4:11 as an answer to anyone who confronts them about what they have "been up to".
Toward the end when i realized the true demon of breaking confidentiality, I enjoyed throwing out various wt.org bias statements and watching the rats go to work and create divisions. SO much energy is spent spreading REINTERPRETED information among JW bodies of elders which filters right down through the pioneer car groups and eventually into the minds of the rank and file.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=wktxjuyiat4.
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either here on this site or by a congregation member?
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My wife used my computer after I had forgot to log out of this site some time ago. She went straight to my inbox and in shock and tears printed off all private messages sent and received. Then figured out how to locate all my posts which she also printed out. She gave the stack to a "friend" for safekeeping until she could figure out who to give them to to "help me". All this happened a few weeks after I stepped aside.
I became the enemy. So many of the forum conversations centered around how to calmly fade my family out. She felt handled and betrayed, especially sick that I would "leave Jehovah in my heart".
Fast forward a few weeks and my wifes friend "did the right thing" and handed over the stack of apostate forum postings to the COBE (who took my place) after I had stepped aside. He informed the BOE, and the usual 2 were sent to investigate.
I was not ready to burn the village down at that time so thoroughly enjoyed the interrogation. So funny, me and the other two elders who had recently served on a child abuse JC sitting in the same places around the same table. Back during the JC I openly voiced my disgust at the 2 witness rule which prevented us from protecting the abused and df'ing the perp, and was snubbed a bit at that time for my open frustration.
Well here we all sit again, but this time with a stack of "apostate" material, I couldn't resist...they opened with the charge that I was involved with apostasy and 'here is the stack of proof.' I could hardly contain my joy....."Brothers, all you have is an accusation and a stack of ink on paper, nothing more, and nothing that name me or anyone else to anything apostate. I confess to nothing. And unless you have 2 witnesses this meeting is over and to speak of it further as if apostasy was a fact would be slander. Do you gentlemen have any other questions? No? OK well, you didn't open with prayer so Ill assume we wont close with one either." I stood up, verified there was nothing else to discuss, they were beside themselves, and I w/family changed congregations out of the circuit and region.
The above was a highlight of my JW career.
There is much more info I'm leaving out on the family situation, fade, ect....but fast forward to today and my whole family is out. The best marriage and family life ever we are enjoying every day.
The one who outed me - followed me out! I know this does not always happen and I am grateful each day that we were able to leave and heal together as a family.
#bestLifeEver
just saying i’m still alive and greeting everyone, veterans and newcomers to this forum.. 2018 was a year with a lot of turmoil in my life; me and my wife separated, then reunited months later, and spent the second half of the year healing the emotional wounds from that episode.
that, along with a record year in terms of my business meant that choices had to be made regarding my time, and i decided to focus on my marriage instead of other endeavours.
it seemed to have paid off.
You are in good company sir. Welcome!
if true what a waste of dedicated funds that could have been used to build 1000's of k.h's in africa.
Yes.
There is about 30% unused square footage collectively across all LIVWRK areas @ Warwick. To be able to 'breathe' as various projects come and go. There are only about 750 permanent persons physically residing at Warwick.
This isn't uncommon and similar planning efforts were in place in Brooklyn. Remember there was a time at a peak when 6000+ Bethelites resided in Brooklyn alone. They are champs at space planning.
there are two legal offices listed on the jw.org website.. united stateswatchtower bible and tract society of new york, inc.office of the general counsel100 watchtower drivepatterson ny 12563-9204united states+1 [email protected].
world headquartersjehovah’s witnesses, office of the general counsel1 kings drivetuxedo park ny 10987-5500united states+1 [email protected].
to which location does one report child abusers and their enablers?
#1 Inform the police.
#2 Brumley and his legal department team is at Patterson as of the moment. Call the main switchboard and ask for legal. Or for fun call the main switchboard 8453061000 and ask to be transferred to #46601 and leave a message on his personal v/m. You might even start your message with "Hello, before I call ABC and NBC news I wanted to reach out to you directly......"
Best!
