SummerAngel

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Posts by SummerAngel

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  12

  Did you become more antisocial after waking up?

  by paradiseseeker in

  1. jw
  2. friends

  i've been shy my whole life, but during my teenage years and early 20s i managed to be more comfortable socializing and made many friends in different parts of my country (jws of course).

  that was before i woke up, because i saw myself being a jw for the rest of my life and thus i made an effort to meet new jw friends.

  however, after i woke up, i lost interest in meeting new people because knowing that when i leave they will be gone... feels like a total waste of time and energy.

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  SummerAngel

  Definitely feel social skills aren't great due to being born in. I also think JW teaches you to be really wary of people whilst being your friend on one level their loyalty is to the organization and is conditional so you can never comp!eyely be yourself around JW friends. Treat the social thing as a skill to squire, start to chat to people be friendly and see where it goes. The rules are different on the outside for one thing the male/female divide is far less apparent. There is more diversity within outside groups. Much of non JW socialising revives around celebrations birthdays, Christmas etc so by being part of one you are part the other
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  9

  Out of the mouths of babes...

  by pale.emperor in

  1. jw
  2. experiences

  conversation with my 3yo this morning:.

  me: hey, it's <friend in her nursery> birthday in a few days.

  her: jehovah doesn't like birthdays.

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  SummerAngel

  My 5yr old had a go at my JW parents for not celebrating Christmas because

  'Grandad you are very naughty and you should celebrate it'

  Equally when she returned after her party and met her cousin and said ' its my birthday why didn't you come' cousin who is 3 snarled " because birthdays are bad" mine looked completely puzzled and replied " no their fun I've got cake and presents"

  I found the whole exchange really sad to be that indoctrinated at 3.
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  52

  Have you ever gone back to a meeting out of curiosity?

  by stuckinarut2 in

  1. jw
  2. experiences

  just wondering if anyone has gone back to a meeting out of curiosity?

  (perhaps to an area far from your old khall where you know no one).

  with all the changes from 2012 onwards (videos, tv screens, new meeting format, new songs etc) it would be an odd experience to be in attendance!.

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  SummerAngel

  I get w hat you mean with this and yeah sometimes been curious but not enough to go. Last KH was for my brothers wedding 5 yrs back. Struck me how stilted it all was. No joy in the talk or music just 1 dreadful JW wedding song not allowed to deviate from set song or talk outline. The levels of control were unnecessary and ridiculous but no one in it could see it.

  I've also noticed when I've occasionally collected my parents how the men automatically loosen their ties, remove jackets etc as they leave as if they've been forced to sit and behave and are now free. Its so shallow their so called spirituality lasts the 1.75 hrs of the meeting and not a moment more.
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  40

  What would you say?

  by Freedom rocks in

  1. watchtower
  2. beliefs

  if you had 2 minutes with an old witness friend or with a family member to convince them the 'truth' is a lie and the gb isnt being directed by god what would you say to get their attention that might make them question their beliefs?.

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  SummerAngel

  I agree there's no magic bullet but I did elicit a wonderful confused response when I posed the following question:

  If the GB demands something that contradicts scripture who do you follow God or man?

  Also, can you give me an example from scripture where Jesus disfellowshiped someone? Linked to this re prodigal son if a person confesses their sins why do they still nerd to sit at the back for a year?
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  35

  The Constant Mindchatter After You Leave

  by pale.emperor in

  1. jw
  2. experiences

  i've been out almost 2 years now and consider myself wide awake to watchtower propaganda and well on my way to recovery from the mental abuse we've all experienced.. one thing that just will not go is that i constantly think of jwism and watchtower and get myself all annoyed at their lies and blatant twisting of facts in their broadcasts and magazines.

  it's so bad that it's the first thing i think of when i wake up, then i have these mental arguments in my head proving the jw teachings false and then getting annoyed because no jw will listen even if you tried to tell them.

  i call this constant thinking and mental reasoning and mental arguing "mindchatter".

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  SummerAngel

  I have a bit of a love hate relationship with this site for the reasons you cite, it fires me up and makes me angry towards my family. I find limiting it helps. Until I got involved in the exfiles world I barely gave it a second thought. I feel like there's always unfinished business with this aspect of my life but I guess I learnt to live with this before and can again. I'm trying to largely stay away from this site for above reasons and did find it helps because you just focus on day to day life which helps move you on.

  I'm also training as a counsellor with the aim to support people coming out of cults.
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  32

  Home schooling website / system for JWs

  by sir82 in

  1. jw
  2. friends

  so, apparently, there is an organization which provides structure, curriculum, etc.

  for home-schooling of jw kids:.

  http://www.newsystemschool.org/index.html.

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  SummerAngel

  When the hell is home schooling going to be outlawed. Recent case not JWs but home schooled family with 12 kids in California -Turpins. Home school enabled parents to abuse those kids with no one having any idea.

  What anoys me too is those sanctimonious patents that bang on about we took little Jonny or Jane to a museum/stately home instead of boring classroom stuff. I've got news for you; normal kids get that on top of not instead of real education.

  I think what is particularly wrong is that the parents appalling choice for their children precludes them from so much as they get older- you may choose to be a window cleaner that's your choice, you have your education nwhat if your child wanted to be a nurse or teacher not a pioneer you have robbed them of so many life choices.
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  44

  I've Disassociated. It's getting announced tomorrow.

  by Heathen Dan in

  1. jw
  2. friends

  this is my first post to this site, im pale.emperor's brother:).

  first of all, i've left being a jw in june.

  since then my family have tried to convince me it's "the truth" and force me to go back even though it's my own decision.

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  SummerAngel

  Hi Dan welcome,

  its always tough to walk away but it gets easier. Just remember people only have the power over us we allow them to. Dont let them mess your head up. There are some great carers out there social services can help you find a non JW one. They can also help you find an advocate, thats someone who can support you and put your opinions forward in any type of meeting. JWs would have you believe that without them everything goes wrong but most people find the opposite is true. There is lots of help, suport and goodness on the outside.
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  37

  You or Family at Uni? Bye bye Ministerial Servants Position

  by snugglebunny in

  1. watchtower
  2. beliefs

  kingdom ministry school.

  2018 service year.

  programme for congregation elders: file:///c:/users/michael/downloads/kms-tk18-e_no8.pdf.

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  SummerAngel

  Re debt comments- not correct in UK student loan repayment more of a tax most all never be repaid. No repayment until wages hit 23k then you are looking around £50_75 a month hardly going to ruin anyone. Dont count against you for any other loan except in terms of affordability. Don't be caught up in scare mongery about student debt its all rubbish.
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  17

  What's out there?

  by Jrjw in

  1. watchtower
  2. beliefs

  someone asked me what does the world have to offer if left the truth?

  'coz i'm still in the process of leaving i just said i don't feel i fit in the truth or the world.

  she's known me for 12 years and she's the 3rd person recently to say i've changed.

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  SummerAngel

  You could flip the question is what is there for me in WTS. Totally agree with comments re map and 'outside there be dragons' watch the film The Village' its basically how JWs work.

  They sell you the false premise of 'jam tomorow' except tomorrow never comes and probably never will at least in your life time. While you're waiting for tomorrow to come you pretty much have to give up everything in the here and now which is why so many elderly JWs are grumpy and fed up they have made poor choices re education,jobs no pension plans given up hobbies they love but they are still here and now face death which was never part of the deal. Is that what you want in your life??

  I look at what my kids have compared to my own childhood and my brothers kids. They have a good education which is leading to a professional career, the younger is too young yet, that's not some short sighted worldly bauble that's setting them up for life. They have had time to learn a musical instrument, plan in sports teams, mix and be friends with kids from all cultures and have both done the scouts, guides system with camping. They both understand what it means to help those less fortunate and overall have a full and fulfilled life as do we.

  I compare to JW kids- no hobbies or interests, no education, poor career prospects, don't mix with those whose beliefs differ so not exposed to other view points. No celebrations at all, nothing to mark the years or puncuate the long dreary existence.

  You gain about 5 hrs a week as well as freedom of your own mind to weigh up pros and cons or any decision.

  I suggest you dip your toe in and plan your escape, feel what its like to make your decisions based on your own ethical code.

  Be open to actually how much self sacrificing goodness there is out there of course the other exists too but it does in all walks of life, plenty of corruption in WTS too.

  Accept that it feels a bit odd, people who have been kept chained in basements for years find the light difficult and the outside world odd at first it doesn't mean their previous existence was good for them. I've been out 30 yrs I still find some things odd, but the benefits vastly outweigh this fleeting feeling xx
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  52

  New to the truth

  by MatthewHewey in

  1. jw
  2. friends

  i have been meeting with member's of the kingdom hall, and i have attended a few times now on sundays.

  i'd like to discuss experiences with this group since i'm new.

  so far, i love it.

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  SummerAngel

  Hi Matthew

  Most people are on this forum because they experienced like you initial love bombing and were taken in by how wonderful it all appeared then they got bitten. If you get baptised it is very hard to leave. The usual trajectory to new comers they offer all the practical help you need accommodation, work clothes and belongings- so far what's not to like ehh? Then you are gradually ' encouraged' to leave behind old friends, family anyone who doesn't believe the same as them. They basically make you totally reliant then when you want to leave it all disappears and those new friends etc will shun you, that job will go as will the accommodation etc.

  I'm born in but left approx 30 yes ago family all in. I've chosen to be Christian that's not a popular choice on this site but if you feel you want an option you could look at an alpha course but I'm not here to promote any other religion i m just suggesting you have choices. Just because the JWs appear nice don't assume you cannot find that elsewhere without the other issues.