Support in general would be encouraging for frowned upon. His wife is dfd, yet trying to return for purely family reasons. He's in turmoil but is committed to fading. Please offer support for him. I informed him I started a topic and he said he would be anxious to read comments.
jeremiah18:5-10
JoinedPosts by jeremiah18:5-10
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help for a forum member
by jeremiah18:5-10 infrowned upon is a lurking member here.
he never posts, but actively reads.
he went home yesterday to attend a family wedding.
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help for a forum member
by jeremiah18:5-10 infrowned upon is a lurking member here.
he never posts, but actively reads.
he went home yesterday to attend a family wedding.
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jeremiah18:5-10
Frowned upon is a lurking member here. He never posts, but actively reads. He went home yesterday to attend a family wedding. He's fading and said he's getting bombarded and pleaded for help. Here's what I told him, other suggestions are welcome.
Stand fast in your integrity. Don't compromise your heart. Don't allow conversation only to revolve around JWism. Redirect conversations to being about life in general. Ask questions and listen. Control the conversations, font be controlled. Use good judgment, don't say anything to expose yourself unless you're ready for it. Display happiness and contentment with where you are in your life. Express how well everything is going. Dont speak for your wife, redirect questions about her, to her. You will be fine if you are
cautious as a serpent.
They assume and expect to find that you are miserable without the cult. Worst thing you can do is fuel that. They will be bewildered if you are happy, at peace and content.
Thank him/them for caring, then deflect. How are you doing? How's work? How's your family? I hope you're very happy. Happiness is so good isnt it? Those are suggestions to redirect.
Please offer any other suggestions to help.
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New Article on BEARDS and Attire of Jehovah's Witnesses
by jwfacts ini have had requests to add an article about beards and jehovah's witnesses.
it is interesting that there is virtually no statement that says a witness cannot have a beard, yet universally they do not have beards.
i have scoured quotes from all the threads on jwn, all references to beard on the cd watchtower library, and copies of elders letters that i have.
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jeremiah18:5-10
Just an FYI, I served my final year as an elder with another elder that did sport a beard. He too said he had a rare skin condition that didn't permit him to shave. Mind you this is in Arkansas, a traditionally conservative area. He was accepted without question even though a year previous, the same elder body had told a baptized young man he couldn't give talks on the school with a beard, a decision overturned by the branch. The only repercussion was before I assigned him out for public talks, I was required to inform congregations of his beard and whether that would stumble any, if not then he could go. Eventually he was used on circuit and district parts.
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What was your "Aha!" moment?
by Hortenzie infor me it was when i learned that gb makes their decisions by 2/3 majority vote, not by direction of holy spirit..
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jeremiah18:5-10
My aha moment occurred several years after being dfd. I was actually sincerely attempting to return and get reinstated. I decided that to do so I wanted pure motives I wanted to do so out of love for Jehovah. So I determined along with my wife to start reading the new testament. I did so without reading any wt info. I also did so with an open mind. I started with acts, by the time I was in Romans, ny eyes were opened to how hypocritical the wts is. I was shocked at how wrong they were in the hope for the future, I only read of a heavenly hope, no alluding to earth at all. I was struck by the freedom that was preached about and how rules and regulations and human opinions were discouraged. I realized that the whole process was warped, hypocritical, unloving, and unscriptural. I determined I could not subject myself to their pharisaical court and practices.
After this things moved rapidly. I read CoC, searched the web and discovered UN situation, then jw facts, jw survey, jw struggle, then JWN. Ive not looked back since. I feel so much happier and fulfilled and have zero regrets.
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Called JR Brown regarding Cano Pedophile situation
by LDH injust called their media line:.
http://www.jw-media.org/contact.htm.
asked a young man named bryce where is the official press release on the cano pedophile situation.
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jeremiah18:5-10
This my first time coming across this experience. It is the most impactful information that I have come across, short of Ray Franz books. These statements of JR Brown get to thecrux of my issues with WT, their iinsistence on being the only true religion, enacting life-altering family-ruining decisions, and alluding to the GB being inspired and Gods spokesman. Without these claims, insistence, and decisions, JWs would be free. I'm so grateful to have this info which thoroughly disgusts me. Sadly, its useless in influencing family members or friends unless they want to be influenced or honestly want truth. What a great experience and find.
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Religion vs. Spirituality
by Oubliette inreligion is for people who are scared to go to hell.
spirituality is for people who have already been there.
- bonnie raitt .
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jeremiah18:5-10
I think religion, especially JW since that's the only one I've been a part of, tries to use religious practices and regulations to measure spirituality. But spirituality cant be measured, its deeply personal.
Trying to use religion to measure spirtuality is like trying to measure air pressure with a tape measure.
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All those times Jehovah answered my prayers...
by Julia Orwell in...and granted me strength, friends, a job, whatever...was all either through my own effort alone or sheer luck.. i wanted a government job so i prayed for one and went out looking for one every day for ages and made a heap of applications...and got one.
my own effort.. i wanted a friend and prayed for one, crying myself to sleep with loneliness.....and after 6 months in the new congregation someone reached out to me.
chance.. i prayed to be able to stand up to my family when they put pressure on me about christmas etc...my own cult conditioning so strong.. i prayed to find a nice husband...luck when i moved congregations and one of those sisters who just has to match make introduced us.
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jeremiah18:5-10
Mealtime prayers, "thank you heavenly father for providing this food...." Used to bother me, because everyone else (non jws) were eating too. So if he's providing for them too, what makes us so special. Guess you can give credit wherever you choose to. You can see what you want, doesn't make it so.
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jeremiah18:5-10
GB : "see, only goats are willing to go out on a limb. Just do what we say and be sheep"
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jeremiah18:5-10
Happy birthday!!! Why do I still feel guilty saying that, geez.
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Did being a JW affect you socially?
by Mahtaw ini feel like i'm awkard in social situations.
i hate going up and talking to people i don't know.
i have trouble making friends.
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jeremiah18:5-10
This topic resonates with me on a deeply personal level. I feel awkward socially, although I fake it well. Perhaps being a JW is to blame or perhaps just the family environment I was in. As I type this, and every other post I make, I'm terrified of rejection. Many of my comments are qualified with statements of "I hope this doesn't offend anyone" or "I hope this isn't off topic or out of line". Every interaction is governed with this obsessive concern. I see it clearly when reflecting on my 30+ years as a JW, I was so fearful of going against the grain. I worried about what I said, what I wore, what I thought, where I was seen, who I was seen speaking to, what I liked, what I believed. I've now been out for 5+ years and things have changed very little. Even though I now have freedom to be me, I find it difficult to not be overly concerned with what people may think of me, even complete strangers. This has definitely affected my ability to interact freely with others and to make new acquaintances wknd friends. When I do make a friend, I am fiercely loyal and protective of that relationship. As an example, I so admire people who can get up and sing karaoke, I so badly want to, but find myself paralyzed with fear, even though I've delivered over a 100 public talks and assembly and district convention parts. I've done it a few times but on those occasions I was very drunk and the liquid courage was abundant. Is this because of being a JW, I don't know, but I just can't stand it. I call it the "don't give a shit" gene and figure I just didn't get it. This only scrapes the surface of the social retardation I feel and deal with daily. The practice of hiding who you really are and how you really feel is so unhealthy. I'm proud to say that I go out of my way to teach my kids to embrace who they are and not to hide it. I encourage them to not say or do anything that they would be ashamed of. If they do, I encourage them to analyze why they are ashamed and to try to help them not be enslaved to the world if political correctness as I have been. Our communication is outstanding and I hope they can have a solid sense of self-worth throughout their lives. For me, I feel it may be too late, I an what I am.