The watchtower study is brutal. Reading 4 sentences then having to parot back exactly what you read in the second sentence is not studing. I really don't think it is worth the effort, there are so many other enriching things you could be spending your time doing like a hobby, reading up on your retirement etc. The opportunity cost is huge. How many hours a week do you go to meetings, study, service. After a while those add up and it really is time wasted if you resent it. I think you should switch congrations, if that is an option and then don't go.
shulamitemaden
JoinedPosts by shulamitemaden
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35
Hardest most awkward parts of being mentally out but physically in
by BU2B ini am still physically in but am completely out mentally.. i was curious for those who spent some time in the borg while being mentally out or are still in that position, what is the worst, hardest or most awkward parts... for me i intensly dislike attending the meetings however its bearable as i can just let my mind wander, but field service is awful.
i cannot try to bring someone in to a group that i am trying to plot a way out of.
so now i try my best to either spend the day driving around to others fruitless rv's (we have somewhat rural territory) or eating out at an extended breakfast or if door to door cannot be avoided, i try to work alone and not ring bells.
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35
Hardest most awkward parts of being mentally out but physically in
by BU2B ini am still physically in but am completely out mentally.. i was curious for those who spent some time in the borg while being mentally out or are still in that position, what is the worst, hardest or most awkward parts... for me i intensly dislike attending the meetings however its bearable as i can just let my mind wander, but field service is awful.
i cannot try to bring someone in to a group that i am trying to plot a way out of.
so now i try my best to either spend the day driving around to others fruitless rv's (we have somewhat rural territory) or eating out at an extended breakfast or if door to door cannot be avoided, i try to work alone and not ring bells.
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shulamitemaden
You can find yourself in this position in lots of areas of your life. If you are in an abusive marriage how do you get out. The strength and courage it takes to remove yourself can seem overwhelming. The what ifs, the known pain and the unknown are terrorizing and can leave you immobile. I really do understand you are at a crossroad, and you believe you are taking the path of least resistance. You will find that your body will start to rebel against you. Be it in panic attacks, sleeplessness, depression or brain fog. You may be fooling the friends, but you aren't fooling the person you are with every second of your life. you. So back to your question, what is the hardest part? I would say it is your life that is passing by and you are a hostage in your life, not a participant. Not bouncing out of bed ready to make the history in your own life. If there were windows in the hall you could look outside and think of all the ways you could be spending your finite amount of time you get on this planet. JW's don't worry about time. Whatever time they squander or piss away is promised to them for eternity later. I don't get a second chance. My life is not a dress rehearsal; this is the only life I get. So how am I going to spend this time is up to me. I already hate that I have to make a living and that takes up 40 hours a week. the rest of the time is mine to devote to my priorities, my kids, my husband, our adventures and my families health. If it doesn’t fall into those categories, then it takes a huge back seat in my life. When my parents forced me to go to meetings when I moved back home at 22 years old, I would write out my checks to pay my bills. They could make me go but couldn't force me to listen. The hard parts as you like to call them, will be become impossible parts eventually. That is a certainty. The people that you are afraid of offending or loosing contact with go to their homes and have their own problems. Here I am back in my old home town, all of the people that i used to be afraid of offending have died off or moved away. What a waste if I worked so hard to please these people who in reality didn't give a rat’s ass about me anyway. The best thing that could happen to you is you get DF'ed and then see the reality of how the people you are worrying about losing wouldn't spit on you if you were on fire if you were df'ed. Long rambling post i know. But i hope to convey that I left, I survived and thrived. You can too. “When the student is ready, the Teacher will appear.”- Buddhist Proverb
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shulamitemaden
Thank you Cedars! What i was asking is if anyone remembers rooming? Back in the 70's there was a big convention comming. People would be driving in from Canada and other states. They didn't have much money so to offset the price, if you had extra rooms in your house you were encouraged to take them in. That didn't fill the demand so the brother would go out in service and in addition to placing magazines they would ask people if they had extra rooms in their house for the travling brothers and sisters to stay in. I was only a kid but i remember being so embarassed.
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shulamitemaden
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