Posts by sadiejive

12

GUESS WHAT MOM -- WE ARE IN A CULT!

by freeman in

jw
friends

hi folks, .

last week i made a monumental decision; i decided to tell my mother-in-law that we are in a cult.

i just could not keep it in anymore.

sadiejive

I don't mean to sound stupid here...but my fam doesn't watch tv (only rent videos occcasionally). What is being aired on Dateline???

sadie

43

Newbie alert !!! Just wanted to say hello...

by sadiejive in

jw
friends

i came here by chance...looking for none other than jw material:) i am currently studying with jw's and attend the kh but am not baptized, as are none of the members of my fam...yet.

i've been studying for almost 4 years with the witnesses.

i am confused...that's the simplest way of putting it.

Newbie alert !!! Just wanted to say hello...

by sadiejive in

jw
friends

i came here by chance...looking for none other than jw material:) i am currently studying with jw's and attend the kh but am not baptized, as are none of the members of my fam...yet.

i've been studying for almost 4 years with the witnesses.

i am confused...that's the simplest way of putting it.

sadiejive

Farkel::

I had to go. As a young child, I remember many Christmas mornings standing in the snow, knocking on doors, and seeing kids my age around the Christmas tree tearing open presents and screaming with joy, while I stood there in my pathetic little suit, carrying my pathetic little briefcase containing my pathetic little magazines waiting to give my pathetic little speech. It was pathetic....Nearly 30 Christmas seasons went by without me giving or receiving one single present. The same number of years went by, and I never was sung the Happy Birthday song, nor did I receive a solitary birthday present. I never attended all the birthday parties offered by acquaintances at school, either. I never saw a bag-full of candy on Halloween. Most Halloweens, my parents would turn the lights off, and the TV down, and we would sit silently while the hordes of little children knocked on our doors and shouted trick-or-treat. On other occasions, as part of my "ministerial training," I had to answer the door and explain to all the neighbor kids and their parents that we were Jehovah's Witnesses and didn't celebrate Halloween, and then try to stuff a Watchtower or Awake covering the subject into their bags.

That literally made me cry. That is truly heartbreaking. I don't want to do that to my children. I have spoken with several of the kids in the local congregation and some of those who are now adults that were raised in "the truth" about how they felt about these times of year and they always said it really didn't bother them. Of course, they would say that...but, honestly, how could it not??? Going into other peoples houses with all the decor and gifts, etc. Feeling left out of EVERYTHING...not having any friends because they have to remain "separate from the world". Why, I've seen the eyes of the ten yr old daughter of the witnesses with whom we study when she has been in our house during Christmas seasons of the past. She loved it....I could see it and sense it. This is why I don't really want to do this with my children. This is why I haven't spoke up to my son's teacher when he would come home with halloween candy or talking about so and so's mom bringing cupcakes for the class because it was her son's b-day or when he got gifts from his teacher (which they kindly wrapped in plain gold paper and tried to go with just a "winter" theme JUST for my son's sake)...although we told his teacher at the beginning of the year that we don't do these things. Because how can I press and encourage something that I am not even sure about myself???

I really don't know what to do. Maybe I should change my log on name to "majorly confused"...LOL. All I know is that I've got to figure and straighten this out before my kids get too much older.

Thanks again to all of you!!!

sadie

43

Newbie alert !!! Just wanted to say hello...

by sadiejive in

jw
friends

i came here by chance...looking for none other than jw material:) i am currently studying with jw's and attend the kh but am not baptized, as are none of the members of my fam...yet.

i've been studying for almost 4 years with the witnesses.

i am confused...that's the simplest way of putting it.

sadiejive

Hey. Wow...I just got back on (busy and crazy day w/the kids). DH is out of town with work and it has been HORRIBLE here...I'm going nuts!!

Gosh, where do I begin...thank you all for your wonderful and heartfelt comments. And for sharing this info with me.

UncleBruce:

Being a JW means your children mustn't have contact with non witnesses including cousins and grandparents etc..

I wasn't aware of that, but I did suspect it. Of course, while I'm studying their not going to just come out and say that this is something that is expected. But I sensed some uneasiness when I would question them about their relatives who were not witnesses. Thanks for the warning.

LB, Princess, ISP, JBean, Mulan, OutnFree, Angharad: Thanks for sharing your stories and for your advice...and for your warm welcomes

Prisca:

Whatever you do, don't get baptised. Sure, study the religion and research as much as you can. But be aware that even those studying with you don't know the full history of their own faith. How many of them know about Beth Serim and the prophecies regarding 1925? How many know what the WTS really said about 1975?

I have already told DH that baptism wasn't even an option as far as I am concerned. I can't do that. I just can't. Too many questions brewing in this ole brain of mine to make a commitment like that. The other things...the past of the WTS...I have spoken with these particular witnesses about it. They know all about it (miracle wheat, beth serim, and the numerous other prophecies that were made and were "covered up"). Not sure if I know whatcha meant by "What the WTS really said about 1975?

Lilacs: I would definitely welcome ANYONE who would want to share ANYTHING with me. BUT I must ask DH and see what he says. Let me get back to ya. If he says no...then I'll figure something out

Waiting: God, what can I say??? I hurt for you and your daughter. Our backgrounds sound a lot alike. Funny, but now that I've declared to my family that I am no longer celebrating holidays, it's like a Norman Rockwell painting around here. My mom poors out her heart, and my sister (with whom I never been close...long story) showed up here just today...crying. 12-21 is my b-day and she wanted me to know that she loved me and that she just COULDN'T not give me something. I AM confused. I hurt so badly that I am causing my family and (however unaware they are of it at their ages) my children such grief.

The "incest" is something that I have just now (the past couple of days) been investigating, for lack of a better word. I went to www.silentlambs.com and it completely floored me. Not just that their were so many molestation stories (because, in all honesty, that could happen in any religious org.) but that it was COVERED UP. I thought of telling DH what I read and telling him to read it but for some reason he has it in his mind that I am wishy washy (and I am sometimes) and that I am "easily swayed". He takes very little of the info that I try to share with him seriously.

Oh yeah, and we were planning to go shopping at the first of the year and buy the kids some gifts and wrap them up. Can't do that on vacation...we'll be accompanied by our JW friends ...not that DH would allow it anyway.

Waiting, thank you so much for sharing your story with me. That can't be an easy thing to talk about. Thank you!!

43

Newbie alert !!! Just wanted to say hello...

by sadiejive in

jw
friends

i came here by chance...looking for none other than jw material:) i am currently studying with jw's and attend the kh but am not baptized, as are none of the members of my fam...yet.

i've been studying for almost 4 years with the witnesses.

i am confused...that's the simplest way of putting it.

sadiejive

Thanks Wonderwoman!!

8

Prayers welcome but not neccessary

by sweetone2377 in

jw
friends

today i am leaving for ky, where my jw mother and step father reside.

sometime during this hectic week, we are having a little meeting of our own with them.

you see, my mother has repeatedly disregarded my wishes and have snuck my children to meetings (ages 2, & 3), taken them out in service, put them in direct contact with a paticular elder that we expressed several times that the kids were to be no where around, etc etc.

sadiejive

I'm new...so you don't know me...hope that doesn't matter, though. I'd still like to give you a little encouragement.

This is a tough situation and something I've had to do with my mom more than once...confrontation. And I hated it because I was, like you, afraid of severing ties between my mom and my children. I have two kids too...5 and 3. Your's and my situations are different but the underlying issues are still the same...who is the mother of your children??? Who decides what they can and can't do??? Who is responsible for them???

Stand your ground!!! Don't slam the door in your mom's face, though. Leave it open. You don't want to be the bad guy. Be sure to make every effort, without giving too much, to compromise with her. Perhaps she can visit them at your house (which is what my mom has to do now). Be kind and loving BUT firm.

I wish you the best of luck!!!! Just remember...what doesn't kill you, only makes you stronger...LOL...don't we all wish that was really true Oh well, let the statement be of some comfort to you anyhow...even if it is cliche' and sometimes not very true.

sadie

38

What if there was not DFing of apostates?

by YoYoMama in

jw
friends

i was wondering today.

what if the witnesses did not have a policy of disfellowshipping those that are apostates.

what would the congregations be like?

sadiejive

Hiya YoYo,

This is one of things I have a hang up on (no, I am not a JW). I am currently studying with them, however. The thing is, that they perpetually reason that one cannot take one scripture out and isolate it from the bible in its entirety...that is "taking it out of context". But they do this with this scripture. There are boo-coos of other scriptures that encourage us to be uplifting and loving, forgiving. That we should be helping those in need...etc. To shun someone because of a mistake or disagreement is a direct violation of the 2nd commandment that Jesus gave us at Matt 22:39. Not to mention the numerous scriptures about forgiving...a VERY good scripture being at 2 Corinth 2:5-7.

sadie

43

Newbie alert !!! Just wanted to say hello...

by sadiejive in

jw
friends

i came here by chance...looking for none other than jw material:) i am currently studying with jw's and attend the kh but am not baptized, as are none of the members of my fam...yet.

i've been studying for almost 4 years with the witnesses.

i am confused...that's the simplest way of putting it.

sadiejive

Waiting,

And that's what scares me. We have 2 children, 5 and 3...number one reason why this Xmas is so hard. We've planned a vacation instead but it still just feels like crap. We ride down the road and my children squeal at the beauty of the lights and the trees...it breaks my heart. They haven't the ability to reason, as I do. They just do as they are told and accept it, whether they understand it or not. And I hate that.

If they are raised in this and later I get out and it's all they know then I am majorly burned . And so are they. I don't think dh has fully grasped the reality of all of this.

You're an inactive JW. Does this mean that you just no longer attend meetings, etc? How do you feel about their doctrines? Are there any that 'just don't sit right' with you?? I hope I'm not being too nosey, I just need someone to talk to. My family thinks that I've already been brainwashed and I still talk to them, just not about these things.

Thanks a million!!

sadie

"Every exit is an entry somewhere."

43

Newbie alert !!! Just wanted to say hello...

by sadiejive in

jw
friends

i came here by chance...looking for none other than jw material:) i am currently studying with jw's and attend the kh but am not baptized, as are none of the members of my fam...yet.

i've been studying for almost 4 years with the witnesses.

i am confused...that's the simplest way of putting it.

sadiejive

Unclebruce: I'll keep my eyes peeled...LOL

Pope: Words of wisdom ...thanks

Freepeace: Thanks for the advice and the honesty. I don't feel brainwashed (but then again, who does??? ), as I haven't hastily "embraced" the "truth". I do see a lot of good points that they make but not enough to make me run out and get baptized. Thank you for the urls. I'll be sure to check them out.

sadie

"Every exit is an entry somewhere."

43

Newbie alert !!! Just wanted to say hello...

by sadiejive in

jw
friends

i came here by chance...looking for none other than jw material:) i am currently studying with jw's and attend the kh but am not baptized, as are none of the members of my fam...yet.

i've been studying for almost 4 years with the witnesses.

i am confused...that's the simplest way of putting it.

sadiejive

Hello all!!!

I came here by chance...looking for none other than JW material:) I am currently studying with JW's and attend the KH but am not baptized, as are none of the members of my fam...yet. I've been studying for almost 4 years with the witnesses.

I am confused...that's the simplest way of putting it. My husband has recently joined the theocratic ministry school. I am still a little, what's the word, hesitant about getting involved. This is my first year not celebrating Christmas (and any of the other holidays) and it has been really hard (A LOT harder for me than my dh). I just finished reading another post on here about Christmas and it was very informative. I copied and pasted into wordpad one of the responses to show to my husband. It basically hit the nail on the head with what I had been trying to say to my hub and our witness friends all along. Where do you draw the line?? Practically EVERYTHING that exists "now" was pagan back "then", ya know?? Anyhow...I'm really mixed up about a lot of things...not just holidays. When I try to talk to my dh about numerous things that I question, he always responds by saying, "well, let's ask XXXXX and XXXX about it." ...and, as I am sure you've guessed, they always have a perfect explanation. I don't know. They really seem like good people...and everything they say does make sense...but then again it doesn't...did that make sense??:-)

Anyhow, sorry for the length. Just wanted to say, "Here I am!!!!";-)

sadie