And then I thought, how was my brain originally wired? How have I changed it? What about the period after I was df, how did I survive? Does it explain why some people "go off the rails" ? - Ballistic
Having watched my daughter grow up it seems to me that children just want to enjoy life and whatever happens they try and survive. So I must have constantly tried to be happy in that religion as a child and tried to survive my mother's need to drag me to meetings and cope with trying to be a social animal at school while not joining in with anything.
Unfortunately while I was trying to survive and squeeze some happiness out of my weird life I grew up, totally indoctrinated into the cult. What I find now even after more than a quarter of a century out, is that I just want to play, play, play. I'm making up for lost time, I suppose. However it has taken me a long time to become like this.
At first I wanted to get qualifications, a job, a home, a family and also do something 'worthwhile' blah, blah, blah. Now I think I want to learn how to be a human. The way that children learn, by finding out what makes me happy, what doesn't, what is healthy, what isn't, and so on.
So Ballistic thanks for this topic. I realise that surviving has taken a very long time although much of it has also been enjoyable. Finally I am probably now back to the beginning as far as rewiring my brain, and I'm going to enjoy it. Pass the toys, what do people do for fun around here?