Thanks Michael, I found many things to identify with. Shame, lack of ability to share emotional intimacy so as to make friends. Along with lack of trust in others after our experience in a religion where the guillotine was always ready to fall if we did or said the 'wrong' thing.
I like your definition of shame that guilt is feeling that we did something wrong but shame is being made to feel we are wrong, the wrong sort of person, wrong through and through. As we were made to feel in the JWs.
Being vulnerable, we have needs and we are not either psychologically useless or at the other end of the scale, arrogant for admitting we have needs, things that we want from life for our own happiness.
Looking for a therapist that is willing to do some research into the JWs so we don't have to explain the past we want to get way from before they can understand us enough to help us get away from it!
Finally that we've lost a lot of time already and life is short so let's get help to enjoy the rest of our lives.
Thanks that was very helpful.