Posts by Xanthippe

20

Are we victims of abuse? Should we even think of ourselves that way?

by nicolaou in

jw
friends

abuse is such a serious word and i'd hate to use it lightly so if anyone reading this has suffered physical or sexual abuse please know that i absolutely do not equate religious abuse with your suffering.

that being said, many of us were lied to and manipulated for decades.

this cultic 'abuse' has borne fruit in shattered relationships, broken families and estranged children.

Xanthippe

There were times I felt I was being tortured. I read about a type of torture where you are forced to say something that you don't believe is true, then when you have given in and agree to say it they slam you against the wall and say no that's wrong.

Whatever I did, pioneered, supported my husband as a MS than an elder, helped people in our book study group, it was never enough. I would go to the meeting, listen to the talks and feel that I was crap, useless. Do more, then when you do, you're not doing enough, you're doing it for the wrong motive, you're not humble enough, you are acting as if you are a good person but you don't really love God........

But acknowledging we were victims doesn't mean letting it ruin our lives. It should be the beginning of healing not something we wallow in for the rest of our lives.

8

Biggins the Bigot?

by LoveUniHateExams in

christopher biggins - the harmless, camp, homosexual, panto star - has been in hot water recently.

in addition to making a tasteless/offensive joke to a jewish contestant in the big brother household, further possibly offensive comments about bisexuality have landed him in hot water.

the offensive jewish joke wasn't broadcast but the comments on bisexuality were.

Xanthippe

Isn't he saying that men who don't admit to being gay go abroad have sex with men then come back to their families and infect their partners with HIV. He says these bisexual people are gays in denial, surely that's saying there aren't any bisexual people. That is reminiscent of saying there are no gay people, it's a mental illness surely?

21

Is remaining ignorant a choice?

by stuckinarut2 in

is remaining ignorant about the society a choice?.

surely every witness has a moment in time when "something just doesn't seem right"?

perhaps a teaching, doctrine, an article, a talk, a news report about child abuse handling, or a jwdubdotorg broadcast, a video, a cartoon for the kids....you know....?.

Xanthippe

We had a family that became 'apostate' in my congregation when I was a teenager. He said he was anointed and would teach people on the coach to and from the summer convention. My mother suspected he was apostate and noticed he'd been talking to people on the coach. I had been sitting near him so I started to tell her what I'd heard. She practically put her hands over her ears and said don't you dare tell me. As if the words would do something bad to her. It was just weird. So yes I think ignorance is a choice.

My dad asked me to phone my sister and I told him it was pointless because she hadn't spoken to me for 16 years. He was shocked and a couple of days later he rang me and said he'd sorted it out and I could phone her, so I did. She rebuked me for saying she hadn't spoken to me for 16 years. I said well it's true! She told me that our father didn't understand the reasons why. I said how could he, it's cruel and unusual punishment!

She said I knew you would attack my religion if ever I talked to you about it and she slammed the phone down. That was me talking about her religion was it! I didn't quite get as far as 607 or overlapping generations did I? Is ignorance a choice, oh I would say so.

25

Can a full healing from cult ever be accomplished

by Chook in

can all indoctrination leave a person , or does it linger in background till death..

Xanthippe

Use what you were forced to do as a JW. I went to the headmaster's office and handed back the raffle tickets we were each given. I stood outside school assembly, sat in a class on my own during school Xmas parties, didn't join in with making Easter cards.

Am I damaged? Well it wasn't fun but I can go just about anywhere on my own including getting on a plane and travelling to other countries. I can join clubs and classes and go on my own if no one wants to come with me.

Some friends and relatives, never in a cult, can't seem to do anything on their own. Did I enjoy growing up in a cult? Of course not, but use what you have learned, whether you enjoyed it or not, to make your life now as interesting and fulfilling as possible. Don't let that cult defeat you. You are bigger than that.

33

RIP dad, who introduced me to this fairytail of everlastin life and paradise :(

by Frezia in

jw
friends

less than 5 hours ago my great dad fell asleep the last time :( still in a bit of a shock and sad that i will not see him again...i promised myself that once he is here no more, i will somehow make my move out of this organisation who kept us all captive believing in a fantasy of an everlasting life :( i am in a tricky situation, since raised as jw, still in, married to an active jw, and pretty sure that all in my social and family circle will turn their backs on me if i finally say goodbye to a fairytail ;(.

Xanthippe

My condolences for the loss of your father Frezia. It's hard for you having all your family and friends in. I wish you strength through the traumatic time of the funeral and the lead up to it. 🌹

15

Adult survivor of sexual abuse as a child

by life is to short in

i showed the video from the midweek meeting of september 12th to my counselor to get her take on it.

she said that it clearly was a propaganda video and was appalled that it was shown to an audience that had small children in it.

she said that they could have been way more generic in their way of portraying the women as having been abused.. the subject of sexual abuse and the way the video zeroed in on it would have small children asking questions that really did not need to be addressed.

Xanthippe

Thanks I'll have a look.

Yes that is maddening. It's always our fault isn't it? You should have said to the CO, I'm just a volunteer. It's all your fault. Like when I got sick pioneering, I should have stopped, nobody was making me pioneer! Yeah right!

15

Adult survivor of sexual abuse as a child

by life is to short in

i showed the video from the midweek meeting of september 12th to my counselor to get her take on it.

she said that it clearly was a propaganda video and was appalled that it was shown to an audience that had small children in it.

she said that they could have been way more generic in their way of portraying the women as having been abused.. the subject of sexual abuse and the way the video zeroed in on it would have small children asking questions that really did not need to be addressed.

Xanthippe

LITS I don't know about this video. Has it been mentioned on here and I've missed it? It's interesting that an outsider only had to watch it to realise it's propaganda to make people think they are helping sexual abuse victims when they're clearly not.

I'm glad you've found a good counsellor.

583

What is the purpose of life?

by slimboyfat in

while reading the magazines the other day it occurred to me that jws never really had a very good answer to that question.

because it was aimed at young people and it said something along the lines, "if you believe in god you have a purpose, but if you don't believe in god your life has no purpose or meaning".

i think that is a faulty analysis of the situation.

Xanthippe

Maybe it's just me I dunno but instead of all this fighting couldn't this have been a great thread with people discussing what they think reality is and then offering what gives life purpose for them personally?

583

What is the purpose of life?

by slimboyfat in

while reading the magazines the other day it occurred to me that jws never really had a very good answer to that question.

because it was aimed at young people and it said something along the lines, "if you believe in god you have a purpose, but if you don't believe in god your life has no purpose or meaning".

i think that is a faulty analysis of the situation.

Xanthippe

Or

3. 'God' created the universe but has no interest or intention to intervene in human affairs. Deism.

Being a sci-fi fan I can just about imagine an alien, sounds less religious than a being, capable of creating a universe. Just about. Apart from the old who made him, where does he come from argument I have another question. How could such an alien exist with such mind blowing intelligence without having ever developed empathy, compassion, ethics?

To just create sentient life and then ignore it, leaving it to wonder about its origins and cause appalling suffering trying to guess where we came from and what it's all about. Yes I can just about imagine that might be possible with a cold, perhaps what we would call 'left brain' mentality. Still it's hard to conceive of, such genius without any morality at all.

27

DEATH: How have you prepared? Funeral, cremation, donate body to Science?

by TerryWalstrom in

jw
friends

well, hell!.

i had dizzy spells and near-fainting and nausea for a few days, so why wouldn't i start thinking about death, ya know?.

am i just very lax in my responsibilities in having no plans at all?isn't that irresponsible?

Xanthippe

I've made a will. My daughter knows I don't care what she does with my remains, whatever's best for her. My husband's grave is a 'double' so they can chuck me in there.

At my cousin's funeral in June I thought how brilliant she wrote the whole thing herself because she had cancer so knew she was going. She had complete control, said exactly what she wanted to say, got her boss to say a few words (he didn't want to but she insisted). Nagged us all to contribute to Marie Curie and Macmillan nurses.

It made me smile that she was a quiet person but that day was really hers, she had total control. So I'll probably write mine telling them all to have a few drinks on me, eat up and have a dance. I'll probably say get your money out and book that trip you've been putting off before it's too late. Carpe diem an' all that