Posts by Xanthippe

63

Sister may have had a slight heart attack, do I text her?

by Xanthippe in

jw
friends

so my cousin phoned and told me my jw sister was taken to hospital with chest pains and it may have been a slight heart attack or possibly she's starting with angina.

now as some of you know my sisters and brother have had little to do with me for 29 years.

we've met at funerals, or arranged them, but i just thought today what if she did die?

Xanthippe

Thanks for your kind thoughts about me jp, l won't let her attitude define me. Just let her know I care, nothing more, nothing less. Yes that's what I'd like to do.

Steve2 I'm really not trying to prove I'm morally better than my sister. I have just become so confused over the years as to how to treat people wrapped up in this cult that I am asking the guys on here for help. To explain the situation you have to give a little back story, I'm not keeping a ledger. Memory is tied up with emotion and hurtful things just stay in our memory, it's not intentional. It is normal to care about people you share parents with, people you spent your childhood with. Why don't you as a mental health professional know these things?

Pete, thanks, I like your idea to show that you didn't realise you're being shunned and just act normally. Yes that must really confuse them. Good idea to send a card. You and jp have both suggested that. I'll think about that.

Crazyguy, why act like I exist? Because I do!!

63

Sister may have had a slight heart attack, do I text her?

by Xanthippe in

jw
friends

so my cousin phoned and told me my jw sister was taken to hospital with chest pains and it may have been a slight heart attack or possibly she's starting with angina.

now as some of you know my sisters and brother have had little to do with me for 29 years.

we've met at funerals, or arranged them, but i just thought today what if she did die?

Xanthippe

Giordano, CoCo, westiebilly, flipper and ding, thanks for your thoughts. I have always believed it would be a better world if only everyone just looked after their own family. Unfortunately with the JW cult mindset that whole dynamic changes, I wish it wasn't so hard. Doing what was right for me and my daughter I hoped was right for them too. I tried to make them see that I did nothing wrong by leaving my religion and therefore would not except their treatment as punishment.

Rebel8 I hear you. I've done the same as you, stopped chasing a relationship with them. You have to protect yourself against abusive people in this world, I totally agree.

Shirley just go with my heart, I like that.

Scotsman thanks for your experience and advice.

Muddy Waters it's good to come from a place of compassion and have no regrets I agree, thank you.

Myelaine we haven't spoken on the phone for nine years, I don't want to put myself through the stress of that, but thanks for your reply.

Thanks Fink, I've got a lot to think about now.

63

Sister may have had a slight heart attack, do I text her?

by Xanthippe in

jw
friends

so my cousin phoned and told me my jw sister was taken to hospital with chest pains and it may have been a slight heart attack or possibly she's starting with angina.

now as some of you know my sisters and brother have had little to do with me for 29 years.

we've met at funerals, or arranged them, but i just thought today what if she did die?

Xanthippe

Tiki and FedUpJW thanks, a simple short get well message might be all that's needed.

Scratchme I believe in following my instincts, thanks for that reminder. Doing what makes me feel like a decent human being, I believe in that too.

LongHairGal, yes you're right a simple text and then let it go. Believe me I'm not expecting a tearful reunion but I like your idea I should feel good about it if I decided to do it.

SBF, I know I do this every so often, ask what to do about my crazy family. Pathetic isn't it? But they are brainwashed after all. There are people on the forum who were in as long as them and still made it out.

I rarely think about them honestly, it's just that my nonJW cousin keeps in touch with her. Perhaps I should ask her not to mention my siblings although my reaction is always negative whenever she does but she doesn't get the hint. She was brought up normally you see, not a crazy JW. To her family is family no matter what.

Edit: oh lots of replies while I was typing, thanks so much guys, I'll reply later.

63

Sister may have had a slight heart attack, do I text her?

by Xanthippe in

jw
friends

so my cousin phoned and told me my jw sister was taken to hospital with chest pains and it may have been a slight heart attack or possibly she's starting with angina.

now as some of you know my sisters and brother have had little to do with me for 29 years.

we've met at funerals, or arranged them, but i just thought today what if she did die?

Xanthippe

Doc actually something along the lines of what you said might help. Many years ago I sent her several letters and when I didn't get a reply I phoned her and asked why. She said it seemed like I was trying to get a reaction from her. So something to say I'm not trying to get her away from her religion (I've never tried) but just sending best wishes because of her heart problem might be a good idea.

Neat blue dog, good idea show her what normal is. Do you think she'll recognise it or just wonder what I'm after?

63

Sister may have had a slight heart attack, do I text her?

by Xanthippe in

jw
friends

so my cousin phoned and told me my jw sister was taken to hospital with chest pains and it may have been a slight heart attack or possibly she's starting with angina.

now as some of you know my sisters and brother have had little to do with me for 29 years.

we've met at funerals, or arranged them, but i just thought today what if she did die?

Xanthippe

Thank you everyone I really appreciate your taking the time to reply.

Truthseeker, exactly, I do think about what happens down the line. Perhaps if they wake up and if I've made it clear the door to me and my daughter is completely shut.

LisaRose, I would like to send a brief text yes, that feels like a normal response to this news.

Ding, yes I have been thinking about that, if I get no response. Can I handle it. That is the crux of the matter I think.

Hybridous, yes I'm not struggling with what's right or wrong in other people's eyes but what will cause me the least harm. I like what you said, an acknowledgment of my sister's health problems is not an attempt to repair our relationship. Yes I'm sure there is a way to make that clear in a text so I won't feel bad if she doesn't reply.

Millie it does comfort me enormously to know you guys on here are going through similar things, thank you. Doing what will ensure I have no regrets. I like that very much. I am going to give that some thought.

63

Sister may have had a slight heart attack, do I text her?

by Xanthippe in

jw
friends

so my cousin phoned and told me my jw sister was taken to hospital with chest pains and it may have been a slight heart attack or possibly she's starting with angina.

now as some of you know my sisters and brother have had little to do with me for 29 years.

we've met at funerals, or arranged them, but i just thought today what if she did die?

Xanthippe

So my cousin phoned and told me my JW sister was taken to hospital with chest pains and it may have been a slight heart attack or possibly she's starting with angina. Now as some of you know my sisters and brother have had little to do with me for 29 years. We've met at funerals, or arranged them, but I just thought today what if she did die?

Of course I've thought this before. My decision to stop contact my family is because of their abusive manipulation. They can seem fine at funerals and make a fuss of my daughter, kissing her as if they saw her the previous week when in fact they've barely had anything to do with her in 22 years, even when her dad died and she was just a child.

Then after a funeral it all goes back to me trying to phone them and they either end the call or are monosyllabic, letting me know in no uncertain terms l am persona non grata and they shouldn't really be speaking to me. As you can imagine I got fed up with that and felt that I shouldn't reward their bad behaviour by continuing to contact them only to be treated like a leper again.

My question is would you just send a text? I was thinking of saying my cousin phoned and told me etc etc. I thought I might say I thought a text would be better then her husband can't overhear a phone call and better than a visit that might be seen by all these people that might be stumbled.

She pretends her husband is really strict but he's not! She wouldn't meet up with me for a coffee after both our parents' funerals because she said someone in her congregation might be stumbled!

I don't know, I'm always trying to second guess them instead of trying to be human and 'normal'. Probably because all my attempts to be human and normal have failed over and over again.

Anyway any thoughts please would be helpful.

27

Tell me if I’m wrong - Jeffery Jackson is not a governing body member.

by Truth and Justice in

jw
friends

yesterday, i had my sister come over to tell my mother and i that she will no longer have anything to do with us, because we need to come back to the meetings, it’s what jehovah wants, and hands her a letter to read and asks for a final hug.

my mother has been dealing with a terrible lost of dad since july, and has been very ill with stress because of it.

i no longer belong to the organization either, and i have been helping my mother out thru this ordeal, it is just as rough on me.

Xanthippe

I'm so sorry for the loss of your father in July. This is so evil, what this cult has demanded your sister does to you and your poor grieving mother. I'm so sorry. My two sisters and brother did this to me and my daughter after her dad died when she was 13, after as you say token funeral and one or two more visits. I'm really horrified and my heart goes out to you. You are right, evert thing you said about Jackson and the ARC is true, don't doubt yourself. My heartfelt condolences to you and your mother

57

What to Do....Please Help. Awakening JW for a very long time

by CovertsadJW in

good afternoon , .

i have been having doubts for many years and as most jw's i have certainly not done myself a favor by suppressing all of my critical thinking.

i am married with 3 kids and my wife and i are inactive, but my wife has made it very clear in speech and action that she wants to go to all meetings, field service, and indoctrinate our kids.

Xanthippe

I also believe newly awakened JWs often have feelings of embarrassment and shame for even having considered anything against the JW religion ....These feelings are purposely programmed by WT to prevent JWs from reading, listening, viewing, thinking or speaking anything critical of the religion

Incognito is right, the programming is very, very strong. Don't underestimate the mental manipulation of this cult.

As an example even now after 29 years out I feel a moment's embarrassment at laughing at a dirty joke and I used to think it was because of our sexually repressed upbringing in the religion. Then I realised I was ashamed because we were taught not to laugh at anything sexual because it's a gift from God. All things are clean to clean people, blah blah, blah.

I'm not sexually repressed now but still feel a slight pang of shame going against the JW programming. Believe me the mind control of this religion would surprise even the KGB.

37

Thank you, George Couch!

by charonsdog in

i just thought i'd share this story from my past.. back in the 80s i remember the big problem seemed to be about music.

(today, it's tight pants, i guess) the organization, society, whatever they were calling themselves, were always going on about the music we listened to.

disco, heavy metal, the whole "backwards masking" thing...couldn't escape hearing or reading about how satan was corrupting us unless we were listening to kingdom melodies or elevator music.. i was assigned to wtf in the late 80s and remember one of the articles stating that "young people know that the rhythm of rock music is the rhythm of sexual intercourse.

Xanthippe

Yeah I remember this. It was all about rock being based on African music which was all about sex, same rhythm or something. I don't know what those GB were doing in their private rooms but we could never keep up with African music and dance. Perhaps they had a little premature problem.

22

It’s My Anniversary!

by jp1692 in

today is the four year anniversary of the last time i set foot in a kingdom hall.

it was the day of the kool-aid issue of the wt!

“at that time, the life-saving direction that we receive from jehovah’s organization may not appear practical from a human standpoint.

Xanthippe

Happy Anniversary jp1692. I'm glad you're no longer trapped in that dark dungeon of a cult.

It will be twenty-nine years for me next month. It's been interesting.