Posts by Xanthippe

28

What was your trigger to waking up ?

by CovertsadJW in

good afternoon , .

i wanted to ask everyone here , what was your trigger to waking up ?

i have been waking up for a long time , but in looking back it’s hard for me to look at one event and say “ ah ha “ , i think mine is like a slow leak - like a crack in a damn - and then hold on , because after that it’s just a flood of information.

Xanthippe

then I realized I have been threatened with death my whole life - My dads thought - well don’t let your emetions control you.

Typical mind-control comment that your dad's learned from the cult. You complain about emotional blackmail and he says stop being emotional. They've trained him well.

It was a slow drip of things for me too with the religion. My husband's old pioneer partner admitting fornication then being fast-tracked to being an elder. My brother-in-law being removed as an elder for stealing, moving away then being made an elder again in about a year. Being told not to study just the Bible with people. The lack of love.The shunning of people congregation member just didn't like. The hatred of science, etc.

9

Crazy JW Comments On AvoidJW.org

by AverageJoe1 in

i read john redwood’s excellent article on avoidjw.org but what was even more mind blowing for me was all the jw comments via disqus at the end of the article:.

http://avoidjw.org/en/news/problems-facing-jw-org/.

they are all the typical lashing out comments based on emotion rather than logical reasoning along with the watchtower apologists thrown in for good measure.. if any of you have a disqus account, then i’d encourage you to have your say.

Xanthippe

I love that the site administrator criticises your comments Joe and then tells everyone to look on jw.borg! He says it twice 😀

27

"Go and tell someone who cares...I dont care!"

by stuckinarut2 in

i don't usually like the confrontational approach to those on the carts, however this video is a great example of how jws do not really care about child abuse issues!.

the arrogance of this brother is disturbing..... bear with the video.

it gets really interesting around the 6 min mark, where the brother loses his cool.. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=b5chulnnyqs.

Xanthippe

'What's your point?' 'Tell someone who cares'

Ignorance and lack of compassion for children.

I agree he should have wound it up sooner and got Jackson's name right but honestly these people stand around shop entrances and public places and then accuse someone asking them questions of harassment!

63

Sister may have had a slight heart attack, do I text her?

by Xanthippe in

jw
friends

so my cousin phoned and told me my jw sister was taken to hospital with chest pains and it may have been a slight heart attack or possibly she's starting with angina.

now as some of you know my sisters and brother have had little to do with me for 29 years.

we've met at funerals, or arranged them, but i just thought today what if she did die?

Xanthippe

That said, we could also increase our vulnerability in return to still-in JWs indifference and negativity towards us. In that regard, we need to weigh up how we will react or feel if we reach out in sincerity and our approach is rebuffed. - Steve2

Well of course! That's what this whole thread has been about! I have been weighing everything up and trying not to increase the pain I have already received whilst wanting to reach out in sincerity. All I got from you was, don't act like you're morally better than your sister.

Talk about teaching your grandmother to suck eggs. I've been thinking recently about having more councelling but honestly if this is all therapists have to offer I think I'll keep my £50 an hour. The guys on here, with no professional training have helped me enormously.

63

Sister may have had a slight heart attack, do I text her?

by Xanthippe in

jw
friends

so my cousin phoned and told me my jw sister was taken to hospital with chest pains and it may have been a slight heart attack or possibly she's starting with angina.

now as some of you know my sisters and brother have had little to do with me for 29 years.

we've met at funerals, or arranged them, but i just thought today what if she did die?

Xanthippe

Thanks everyone, I sent a text about an hour ago. I decided to be a normal caring sister and not play by their rules. Whatever happens happens. After all this time out I can take it. Thanks for all your help.

63

Sister may have had a slight heart attack, do I text her?

by Xanthippe in

jw
friends

so my cousin phoned and told me my jw sister was taken to hospital with chest pains and it may have been a slight heart attack or possibly she's starting with angina.

now as some of you know my sisters and brother have had little to do with me for 29 years.

we've met at funerals, or arranged them, but i just thought today what if she did die?

Xanthippe

Thanks for your kind thoughts about me jp, l won't let her attitude define me. Just let her know I care, nothing more, nothing less. Yes that's what I'd like to do.

Steve2 I'm really not trying to prove I'm morally better than my sister. I have just become so confused over the years as to how to treat people wrapped up in this cult that I am asking the guys on here for help. To explain the situation you have to give a little back story, I'm not keeping a ledger. Memory is tied up with emotion and hurtful things just stay in our memory, it's not intentional. It is normal to care about people you share parents with, people you spent your childhood with. Why don't you as a mental health professional know these things?

Pete, thanks, I like your idea to show that you didn't realise you're being shunned and just act normally. Yes that must really confuse them. Good idea to send a card. You and jp have both suggested that. I'll think about that.

Crazyguy, why act like I exist? Because I do!!

63

Sister may have had a slight heart attack, do I text her?

by Xanthippe in

jw
friends

so my cousin phoned and told me my jw sister was taken to hospital with chest pains and it may have been a slight heart attack or possibly she's starting with angina.

now as some of you know my sisters and brother have had little to do with me for 29 years.

we've met at funerals, or arranged them, but i just thought today what if she did die?

Xanthippe

Giordano, CoCo, westiebilly, flipper and ding, thanks for your thoughts. I have always believed it would be a better world if only everyone just looked after their own family. Unfortunately with the JW cult mindset that whole dynamic changes, I wish it wasn't so hard. Doing what was right for me and my daughter I hoped was right for them too. I tried to make them see that I did nothing wrong by leaving my religion and therefore would not except their treatment as punishment.

Rebel8 I hear you. I've done the same as you, stopped chasing a relationship with them. You have to protect yourself against abusive people in this world, I totally agree.

Shirley just go with my heart, I like that.

Scotsman thanks for your experience and advice.

Muddy Waters it's good to come from a place of compassion and have no regrets I agree, thank you.

Myelaine we haven't spoken on the phone for nine years, I don't want to put myself through the stress of that, but thanks for your reply.

Thanks Fink, I've got a lot to think about now.

63

Sister may have had a slight heart attack, do I text her?

by Xanthippe in

jw
friends

so my cousin phoned and told me my jw sister was taken to hospital with chest pains and it may have been a slight heart attack or possibly she's starting with angina.

now as some of you know my sisters and brother have had little to do with me for 29 years.

we've met at funerals, or arranged them, but i just thought today what if she did die?

Xanthippe

Tiki and FedUpJW thanks, a simple short get well message might be all that's needed.

Scratchme I believe in following my instincts, thanks for that reminder. Doing what makes me feel like a decent human being, I believe in that too.

LongHairGal, yes you're right a simple text and then let it go. Believe me I'm not expecting a tearful reunion but I like your idea I should feel good about it if I decided to do it.

SBF, I know I do this every so often, ask what to do about my crazy family. Pathetic isn't it? But they are brainwashed after all. There are people on the forum who were in as long as them and still made it out.

I rarely think about them honestly, it's just that my nonJW cousin keeps in touch with her. Perhaps I should ask her not to mention my siblings although my reaction is always negative whenever she does but she doesn't get the hint. She was brought up normally you see, not a crazy JW. To her family is family no matter what.

Edit: oh lots of replies while I was typing, thanks so much guys, I'll reply later.

63

Sister may have had a slight heart attack, do I text her?

by Xanthippe in

jw
friends

so my cousin phoned and told me my jw sister was taken to hospital with chest pains and it may have been a slight heart attack or possibly she's starting with angina.

now as some of you know my sisters and brother have had little to do with me for 29 years.

we've met at funerals, or arranged them, but i just thought today what if she did die?

Xanthippe

Doc actually something along the lines of what you said might help. Many years ago I sent her several letters and when I didn't get a reply I phoned her and asked why. She said it seemed like I was trying to get a reaction from her. So something to say I'm not trying to get her away from her religion (I've never tried) but just sending best wishes because of her heart problem might be a good idea.

Neat blue dog, good idea show her what normal is. Do you think she'll recognise it or just wonder what I'm after?

63

Sister may have had a slight heart attack, do I text her?

by Xanthippe in

jw
friends

so my cousin phoned and told me my jw sister was taken to hospital with chest pains and it may have been a slight heart attack or possibly she's starting with angina.

now as some of you know my sisters and brother have had little to do with me for 29 years.

we've met at funerals, or arranged them, but i just thought today what if she did die?

Xanthippe

Thank you everyone I really appreciate your taking the time to reply.

Truthseeker, exactly, I do think about what happens down the line. Perhaps if they wake up and if I've made it clear the door to me and my daughter is completely shut.

LisaRose, I would like to send a brief text yes, that feels like a normal response to this news.

Ding, yes I have been thinking about that, if I get no response. Can I handle it. That is the crux of the matter I think.

Hybridous, yes I'm not struggling with what's right or wrong in other people's eyes but what will cause me the least harm. I like what you said, an acknowledgment of my sister's health problems is not an attempt to repair our relationship. Yes I'm sure there is a way to make that clear in a text so I won't feel bad if she doesn't reply.

Millie it does comfort me enormously to know you guys on here are going through similar things, thank you. Doing what will ensure I have no regrets. I like that very much. I am going to give that some thought.