Xanthippe

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Posts by Xanthippe

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  19

  How do you deal with the loneliness after leaving?

  by Whynot in

  1. jw
  2. friends

  i'm having one of those days where i feel lonely and wish i had someone to just hang out with.

  my husband got disfellowshipped 3 years ago and even though i didn't do anything wrong i was pushed away.

  my so called "friends" decided to avoid me.

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  Xanthippe

  There is a co-worker that wants to hangout and I would really like to. How do I push this endoctrination out of my head that it's not fine to be friends with someone who is not a JW? I feel like a big mess bleh.

  That sounds great, just don't get too heavy about it, keep it light, no need to tell your life story, just hang out. If you don't enjoy hanging out with this person just don't accept further invitations. Don't worry about it. People in the real world don't shun you if you just don't want to hang out.
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  25

  My JW niece is getting married ... typical JW drama

  by wannabefree in

  1. watchtower
  2. beliefs

  we received an invitation in the mail yesterday for my jw niece's wedding.. i am posting this just to add for any lurkers to see typical jw practices.. 1st - and perfectly understandable for anybody who is or was a jw.

  i'm not invited.

  :) hey, i'm really not complaining about that.

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  Xanthippe

  You raised an amazing daughter, intelligent enough not to get baptised and yet still loving and open-minded, remembering the affection she had for her cousin as a child. You helped her to be strong emotionally so she is not broken by this, good for you.
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  35

  What is the strangest book or craziest book the JWs have ever printed?

  by blownaway in

  1. watchtower
  2. bible

  what do you think the crazies or strangest book they ever printed is?.

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  Xanthippe

  The 'family' book in the eighties. Stupid attitude to marriage and family life. If your husband comes home from work and he complains that dinner is late get him a drink of juice and ask about his day! Get your own bloody drink, mine's a red wine and help me with the dinner.
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  32

  Movie-goers can be fickle (great movies that should've enjoyed huge box-office success)

  by LoveUniHateExams in

  1. social
  2. entertainment

  just thought i'd start a thread about this topic.. john carpenter's the thing (1982) was a great film, one of his best imo.

  for me, it's right up there with alien (1979) as one of the greatest sci-fi horror films ever made.

  and yet one film made anything between $100 - 200 million at the box office whereas the other made only $19 million.

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  Xanthippe

  Geena Davis as a secret agent with amnesia in The Long Kiss Goodnight. (1996) I don't know anyone who's actually seen it although it didn't do too badly at the box office. Love this film, especially when schoolteacher Davis starts remembering who she really and how to throw knives. That line when she says to her daughter "life is pain, get used to it".
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  133

  What Is The Most Ridiculous Thing You Have Heard From A Witness?

  by minimus in

  1. jw
  2. friends

  i remember an elder questioning a woman who had admitted to giving and receiving oral sex from her unbelieving mate.

  he asked her the most intimate questions which clearly flustered her.

  interestingly, she “confessed “ to the elders because her conscience bothered her.

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  Xanthippe

  Some years after leaving I had achieved a Bachelor of Science degree, consciously left religion behind and become an atheist, volunteered for a charity fighting world poverty and my JW mother said 'you are being left behind. We are making spiritual progress and you haven't progressed spiritually at all'

  Really nothing I could reply to something as stupid as that.
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  23

  Does the Watchtower have an official position on Alcoholics Anonymous?

  by JeffT in

  1. jw
  2. friends

  i ask because i'm working in a 28 day residential addiction treatment center and one of my co-workers is studying with the jw's.

  he does not know i'm an xjw.

  i suspect that at some point they're going to tell him he can't go to aa meetings anymore.

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  Xanthippe

  Yeah I know your higher power can be whatever you choose, my point was would the JWs allow you to do that, in answer to the OP. Do they only recognise Jehovah as their higher power and would they allow you to use him as yours in AA? They probably wouldn't get to know anyway so why worry. Perhaps they would insist it's the GB!
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  32

  How long since your last memorial?

  by NewYork44M in

  1. jw
  2. friends

  this is my 15th year without going to the memorial.

  based on comments, it seems i did not miss anything.

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  Xanthippe

  Thirty years! When someone hands me a glass of red wine now they expect me to drink it!
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  20

  How is life better?

  by Freedom rocks in

  1. watchtower
  2. beliefs

  i know this thread has probably been covered in the past but i thought it would be nice for newbies and lurkers and just a reminder to those that left a while ago.. how has your life improved since leaving the cult?

  are you happy?

  have you made some amazing friends or maybe met an amazing partner in the world?.

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  Xanthippe

  I lived in near poverty as a JW because of pioneering. Since leaving I've been to Paris, Rome, Athens, watched the the sun rise on the Taj Mahal, seen Niagara Falls, the Alhambra and paintings in the Louvre and the Uffizi. I've seen tulips in Amsterdam, been on a gondola in Venice, walked atop the city wall of Dubrovnik and seen the snow on the Italian Alps at beautiful Lake Como in the spring.

  I graduated BSc and found a job I enjoy and watched my beautiful little daughter grow up to be an intelligent woman with a social conscience. She has a BA and MA and is loving teaching children.

  I go to the cinema, theatre and have meals out with my meetup group and read books with my book club. If I don't want to go nobody gives me the third degree and that 'we missed you' rubbish. Life isn't perfect, whose life is? The difference is it's my life now, I make my own friends, my own decisions and my own mistakes. I love it.
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  11

  Boundaries

  by AllTimeJeff in

  1. watchtower
  2. beliefs

  this post hopefully will get you thinking about therapy, along with good mental and emotional health if you are dealing with the traumatic choices associated with leaving jw's, or if you are considering leaving.

  because it is a trauma.. imagine a married couple in their late 30's.

  because they took last weeks watchtower seriously, they have decided to talk to an elder in their congregation because they have practiced oral sex on each other, and feel a need to confess and get "spiritual help.".

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  Xanthippe

  Agreed, boundaries are very important and for those raised in the cult it's difficult to learn to limit how much you tell people about your life and limit association with toxic people. Counselling can really help because as a JW you weren't supposed to keep anyone at arms length but for a healthy life we need to learn to do that.
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  20

  Gruesome details in last night's memorial talk

  by purrpurr in

  1. watchtower
  2. beliefs

  last night's memorial talk in my cong went into graphic gruesome details about the torture of jesus and how the stake killed people.

  i mean medical level graphic description!

  step by step details of each injury and how it killed!

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  Xanthippe

  I remember that, six inch nails, the slow asphyxiation of having arms above your head, choking on vinegar given instead of water. Happy days. My childhood Easters and no chocolate!