Posts by longgone

29

The one oclock meeting

by Steel in

i go to a hall (very rarely) with a single cong of about 60 people in a small city of maybe 10000. our board of elders is a bunch of childless weirdos or at least the ones that make an effort.. they recently changed the sunday meeting time from 10/12 to 1/ 3. a number of us are pissed off.

its makes to hard to drive to the city or go to a football game.. i just know the gestopo elders behind the change.

if your life isnt as miserable or pointless as theirs, they arent doing their job.

longgone

You could plan on doing something you really like earlier in the week.

When Sunday rolls around you'll be anticipating your fun and meeting will be such a dismal option it will be easy to just skip it.

Repeat every Sunday. 😊

20

Taking the Step

by beardfreedom in

jw
friends

first time posting after years of reading, the things i have learned here have gradually helped to open my eyes to the reality of this religion.

though i have been mentally out for some time, lately i have stopped going to meetings and service.

the elders are calling and i have been ignoring them, i am trying to get up the courage to finally break free and never go back.

longgone

I was born in as well and just left recently, I I haven't gone to a meeting since early Spring. I have to say at times it was hard. Barely though, maybe 2% of the time. That's only because of my in family, I received some excellent suggestions about how to fade successfully here. I'm fairly confident that all will be well in that area if I'm careful.

I've never been truly happy until leaving the mind control the GB excels at. I am now! My daughter said "It's like life is blossoming for you Mom!"

I always thought it was my fault , now I know for a fact it was the cult. It's a joyless life they impose on people. I feel so light for many reasons, especially because the FOG is something of the past. The life you will choose, not the WTS, is amazing!

26

Help with fading, please...

by longgone in

i just left about six months ago and i'm going through the emotional whirlwind that comes with it.

i would really appreciate some advice on how to keep this fade from turning into my being disfellowshipped.

i'm another born in, third generation.

longgone

Thanks everyone for the nice welcome and much needed support. I feel better already. 😊

26

Help with fading, please...

by longgone in

i just left about six months ago and i'm going through the emotional whirlwind that comes with it.

i would really appreciate some advice on how to keep this fade from turning into my being disfellowshipped.

i'm another born in, third generation.

longgone

Thanks everyone for all of the above thoughts. I apologize that in my effort to keep a reasonably short post, the complete situation I'm in is far more complicated than I described. I can certainly use all of your above advice and the references on fading, as that is what it I'm trying to do, but after the fact, a fade turns out to be a combination with hiding. So hard to explain, please bear with me. I do need help emotionally with this.

First though, I have researched the WTS teachings and other religions enough to know that they wrong in my opinion. I have no doubts on that, and I want nothing to do with religion, Christan or otherwise.

This is what I have to keep to myself completely, other than with two of my sisters and fortunately my children.

At the start of my post, when I said that I think the local elders will leave me alone, is because coincidentally at the VERY same time I was was coming to this conclusion I was still attending meetings and in good standing.

A rather unusual thing happening between myself and another "sister" in the congregation.

I'm not going to put quotation marks on all the JW language to follow, or use the sarcasm and irritation I feel about the situation. In itself it had/has nothing whatsoever to my decision. But, it does put me in the potential of being df'd. This sister is a pioneer of decades. Widowed and lonely. She is physically and mentally strong , as in pushy. We had been friends for some time, but she started demanding more and more of my time and refused to leave me alone when I tried to decline her every and constant requests to go in the ministry with her and studies. This happened multiple times a week.

Unfortunately, I allowed myself to be intimidated for nearly six months. I was falling apart, about it. My adult children saw what was going on and were concerned about the situation. I have a therapist (of many years) who I told about it intermittently. She eventually recommended I consider a restraining order because she was stalking me. Really. I tried to talk with the sister about it, following the rule of going to the person first before going to the elders. She acknowledged her behavior, but continued calling me, she yelled at me in my own house.I live alone. She mocked me and humiliated me more than once when no one was around to see it hear.

I finally broke down and told her to stop calling me. She didn't. I blocked her. I missed meetings. I got physically sick, couldn't sleep decently for weeks. I didn't want to take legal action because I didn't want to "bring reproach on Jehovah's name and the organization." Yet, I was desperate and finally asked for an elders help. Because of her shining reputation she managed to make me look bad for avoiding her! So much for trying to putting up with one another. I guess that means any one can do anything to another person in the congregation and it's ok if the elders are on your side. I was accused of stirring up contentions in the congregation, even though I never told anyone in the KH what she was doing. Not even a hint. I was about to be escorted to the back room but because I broke down crying, I was able to leave the Hall in one piece.

In the following few weeks I came into the meeting late, stayed in the back, left early. I did attend the Memorial. A couple more to make it look like I was still ok with the organization. My adult daughter (who had successfully faded many years ago) had in the course of the several previous weeks felt I could take the shock of telling me I was living in a cult. And pedophilla was rampant and being covered from the law and the members. I immediately went to the library checked out stacks of books about cults. I requested interlibrary loans. It all came together. My life had been devoted to lies. I thought I was alone on the planet. I was scared, I began looking on the internet at apostate sites. This was all happening within me at the same time as the whole stalking thing was going on. The elders think I left because of the incidents I related above.

This is where I blew it. When an elder came knocking I didn't answer. A few weeks later another. I had been pushed and intimated for so long. I had recognized the evil in the organization before the elder scene. I was so emotionally unstable over the whole thing, I pretty much blasted him, while not saying anything against the organization, I did have that much presence of mind somehow, but told him in no uncertain terms never to come to my house again. Of course, I had not been to meetings for about a month. So, this is where it stands. Local elders and anyone who saw what happened at the KH think I left in a huff about the situation.

My family far away thinks,(because I've told them) it's because of my severe long term anxiety issues. They think this is why I don't go.

Which is where the deception comes in that I feel so bad about. They don't know I told an elder to stay away from me. They don't know what I know about the organization. If I were to say anything subtlety about it would be tuned out. Which is what I would have done in the past.

If I were open about it, it would quickly turn into the situation I described at the outset. So I'm basically hiding from the elders and fortunately rarely cross paths with anyone. They have calls in my area, so there will never be any holiday decorations on my door, a small price to pay. I went to vote away from the area where I wouldn't have been seen. I avoid anyplace where the sister could be. My heart pounds when I see a car that looks like hers. Since she came to my house again about a mouth ago, I yelled at her to stay away from me.I was truly scared. I decided I couldn't live in fear of her anymore so my therapist made an appointment with me to see an attorney. The attorney said her behavior is consistent with stalking and she feels that she is dangerous. If I pursue a protective order I would have to see her in court. She would without a doubt inform the elders. Last winter, before I ever went to the elder about it, I discussed it with my own brother who has been an elder for decades. He told me that "we" don't take this kind of thing to "worldly" people and I should just pretend I'm fine with her outwardly. So that was his recommendation. Of course, I haven't told him that all these months later I felt I had to.

At this time, I have the choice to take her to court, the elders will side with her because she is a holy pioneer. I was merely a low hour publisher who is a nobody. If I were to legally besmirch the organizations clean outward appearance I could be of.

So there it is. An attorney, my therapist, my adult children who have left the bOrg all consider this woman dangerous. Yet she is a pioneer in good standing, sitting in the in the KH, singing little songs, including "The Life of a Pioneer" which always seemed to me yet another way to make everyone else feel worthless if they aren't. I left because the WTS is reprehensible on so many levels.

Again, I'm sorry about this being so long, but it does help to know I'm not a lone apostate. Without the internet and forums like this, where I know people understand how sinister the cult is and how ridiculous it is to have to keep independent thinking concealed for the rest of my life, I really can't imagine how I could deal with the potential consequences. Thank you again for listening.

26

Help with fading, please...

by longgone in

i just left about six months ago and i'm going through the emotional whirlwind that comes with it.

i would really appreciate some advice on how to keep this fade from turning into my being disfellowshipped.

i'm another born in, third generation.

longgone

That is helpful! Thank you.

26

Help with fading, please...

by longgone in

i just left about six months ago and i'm going through the emotional whirlwind that comes with it.

i would really appreciate some advice on how to keep this fade from turning into my being disfellowshipped.

i'm another born in, third generation.

longgone

Hi,

I just left about six months ago and I'm going through the emotional whirlwind that comes with it. I would really appreciate some advice on how to keep this fade from turning into my being disfellowshipped.

I'm another born in, third generation. Most of my family is solidly in.I'm getting away with this so far only because they live hundreds of miles away from me. The local congregation could potentially kick me out, but so far they are leaving me alone.

The real problem is my family and also a few friends I've had for many years who also fortunately live in three separate states

My Dad is nearly 90 and in very good health, driving to meetings, going in service and so forth. I love him very much. Painful as it would be to lose everyone else, I can't risk being disfellowshipped or disassociate myself mostly because of him. It would be devastating to both of us to lose each other. What if he was about to pass knowing his daughter was disfellowshipped? I would grieve the rest of my life over causing that.

As all of you know it's nearly impossible to not talk about the JW world with anyone in because it is their world, and it was mine too. Sometimes I cry after talking with any one of them on the phone. I feel empty and alone because I'm being deceptive. I feel like a really bad person for this, even though I know it's the only right thing to do. The organization is thoroughly corrupt and heartless. I can't knowingly be any part of it. Yet, pretending isn't who I am, and I don't want to be that kind of person, but I'm forced to. I know that my sister thinks that something is going on with me. I know she loves me, but with the past convention talks and videos about pretty much shunning inactive members, she could feel she that being "loyal to the only true channel" is her only choice. Sometimes I try to think she is pretending too. I mean, she would be in the same position as I am, only worse. You can't fade if you're a pioneer for over ten years and your husband is an elder. It's so sad.

Is there anything that I can do or not do that could maybe prevent the worse from happening to yet another family, this time mine? I've already been greatly helped through this all these months by reading this forum. Thank you for listening.

113

I am deeply ashamed that I didn't accept evolution until a few years ago...

by ILoveTTATT2 in

jw
friends

so... i live in mexico and i am helping with an esl class (english as a second language).

actually, i am helping with two classes.

i get two days a week in which i just stand there and have a debate with the class, encouraging as many as possible to just talk... in english.. anyways, i like talking about subjects that generate debate.

longgone

Thank you Crofty. 😊

6

The Earliest Printed Book Still in Existence - the Buddhist Diamond Sutra

by fulltimestudent in

jw
friends

the british library has a copy of this important historical work (dated to may 868 ce), and has been working to conserve its copy.

this film made by the international dunhuang project (formed to conserve relics from the silk road (the east-west trading network) backgrounds the sutra's story:.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=sgn5hqxtlmc.

longgone

Fascinating, thank you.

22

POP QUIZ: You're An Elder, And A Sister Has Suicidal Thoughts...

by pale.emperor in

lets imagine you're a jehovah's witness elder.

you have zero theological training aside from what you've read in the watchtower and the currently still approved watchtower publications, you have zero counseling skills, and no medical training.

a recently bereaved sister approaches you in tears and tells you she just wants to die.. what do you do?.

longgone

I saw this video earlier this year during the Service Meeting. I can't even express how distraught I was watching it. It was one of the final straws leading me out the door, permanently.

An additional danger I would think, is that was viewed by the rank and file who may think this is the way to " help" another brother or sister who may confide in them!

I decided to call Brooklyn to express how seriously wrong and dangerous it was after a few days. I just couldn't stop thinking about what could very well happen if this was a real life situation. Had my family not taken me to a hospital when I was in a very similar situation many years ago, as the saying goes, I may not be here writing this post.

After I expressed my concerns, I got the non-committal run around for quite some time. I continued to press the point until finally the brother acknowledged that "I had a point."

Of course that means nothing, I can't understand why NOBODY involved in producing this rubbish had the sense to point out how wrong and dangerous their " training'" is.

Any suicidal idealisation must be taken seriously, and when someone is to the point of having a plan and actually voicing it, immediate help should be arranged.

How can this organization legally get away with this? Shouldn't they be held accountable? Could the video be made available to mental health professionals? Would they be able to do anything to prevent this information from doing real harm?

21

Why aren't there windows in the KH?

by longgone in

the last kh i attended, (faded) was built in 2014. there are no windows anywhere, although the front doors are glass.

.

it's nothing but a brown brick rectangle, as nondescript as possible as well.. any thoughts about why?.

longgone

The last KH I attended, (faded) was built in 2014. There are no windows anywhere, although the front doors are glass.

It's nothing but a brown brick rectangle, as nondescript as possible as well.

Any thoughts about why?