Well mrmustard this is where I'm supposed to say "well no one is perfect". The toughest pill for me to swallow is that manipulative part.. Growing up with a abusive and manipulative mother was pretty hard. I'm at peace now but it took years for me to find it on my own. I dont want to think that's what she is doing but she probably is. She wasnt using drugs in her last relationship just her gf was. I guess I got alot of thinking to do on this subject. I appreciate the advice everyone.
Posts by Jayk
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37My "shameless" relationship with my ex wife
by Jayk ini've thought about keeping this to myself but i'm still confused on what i should do.. my ex wife(never been a jw) and myself(raised in the org till 16)have been reconnecting these past few weeks.
we been divorced for almost 10 years, we got married when we where pretty young, and it didnt last long.. fast forward 10 years, her and i have been reconnecting and things are getting semi serious.. she got remarried, divorced again, and recently broke up with her gf.
so in the past 10 years she has only been with 3 people (including myself) and here comes me "a sucker with no self esteem".
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37
My "shameless" relationship with my ex wife
by Jayk ini've thought about keeping this to myself but i'm still confused on what i should do.. my ex wife(never been a jw) and myself(raised in the org till 16)have been reconnecting these past few weeks.
we been divorced for almost 10 years, we got married when we where pretty young, and it didnt last long.. fast forward 10 years, her and i have been reconnecting and things are getting semi serious.. she got remarried, divorced again, and recently broke up with her gf.
so in the past 10 years she has only been with 3 people (including myself) and here comes me "a sucker with no self esteem".
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Jayk
That's all pretty solid advice I appreciate that. What you said about the kids is being discussed and I feel the same. I'm trying to look at this situation from all perspectives before I make my final decision.
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37
My "shameless" relationship with my ex wife
by Jayk ini've thought about keeping this to myself but i'm still confused on what i should do.. my ex wife(never been a jw) and myself(raised in the org till 16)have been reconnecting these past few weeks.
we been divorced for almost 10 years, we got married when we where pretty young, and it didnt last long.. fast forward 10 years, her and i have been reconnecting and things are getting semi serious.. she got remarried, divorced again, and recently broke up with her gf.
so in the past 10 years she has only been with 3 people (including myself) and here comes me "a sucker with no self esteem".
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Jayk
I'm not deflecting I'm not trying to air all the details until the questions are asked. I've already admitted I was immature in the beginning of our relationship how is that deflecting? I agreed that therapy might be the right answer and i didnt consider it. My vehicle recently broken down and she had a extra and is allowing me to use it. I have nothing against her I'm asking for other people's advice to see if anyone else has been in similar situations..
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37
My "shameless" relationship with my ex wife
by Jayk ini've thought about keeping this to myself but i'm still confused on what i should do.. my ex wife(never been a jw) and myself(raised in the org till 16)have been reconnecting these past few weeks.
we been divorced for almost 10 years, we got married when we where pretty young, and it didnt last long.. fast forward 10 years, her and i have been reconnecting and things are getting semi serious.. she got remarried, divorced again, and recently broke up with her gf.
so in the past 10 years she has only been with 3 people (including myself) and here comes me "a sucker with no self esteem".
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Jayk
Nahh dio I been out of the ORG since I was 16. I got married while I was 20. The reason I would ask complete strangers is because I can't going to my own family for advice. I've been told I should see a therapist which I never thought of before. But I also think i have a clear understanding of her needs and mine. I honestly think she needs to see a therapist for her own issues. Yes I probably have issues but I dont think they effect my relationships but I feel hers might..
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37
My "shameless" relationship with my ex wife
by Jayk ini've thought about keeping this to myself but i'm still confused on what i should do.. my ex wife(never been a jw) and myself(raised in the org till 16)have been reconnecting these past few weeks.
we been divorced for almost 10 years, we got married when we where pretty young, and it didnt last long.. fast forward 10 years, her and i have been reconnecting and things are getting semi serious.. she got remarried, divorced again, and recently broke up with her gf.
so in the past 10 years she has only been with 3 people (including myself) and here comes me "a sucker with no self esteem".
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Jayk
I got a private message from someone who said that. I'm a pretty logical person I understand where our marriage went wrong(I was young on immature).I think she should probably see a therapist. Like 2 weeks ago she started taking zoloft if that says anything.
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37
My "shameless" relationship with my ex wife
by Jayk ini've thought about keeping this to myself but i'm still confused on what i should do.. my ex wife(never been a jw) and myself(raised in the org till 16)have been reconnecting these past few weeks.
we been divorced for almost 10 years, we got married when we where pretty young, and it didnt last long.. fast forward 10 years, her and i have been reconnecting and things are getting semi serious.. she got remarried, divorced again, and recently broke up with her gf.
so in the past 10 years she has only been with 3 people (including myself) and here comes me "a sucker with no self esteem".
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Jayk
I didnt think this situation was gonna be easy. She is her own person and knows what she wants. She is emotionally conflicted with other things in her life. I'm not the solution she is looking for but I'm not the problem either.
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37
My "shameless" relationship with my ex wife
by Jayk ini've thought about keeping this to myself but i'm still confused on what i should do.. my ex wife(never been a jw) and myself(raised in the org till 16)have been reconnecting these past few weeks.
we been divorced for almost 10 years, we got married when we where pretty young, and it didnt last long.. fast forward 10 years, her and i have been reconnecting and things are getting semi serious.. she got remarried, divorced again, and recently broke up with her gf.
so in the past 10 years she has only been with 3 people (including myself) and here comes me "a sucker with no self esteem".
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Jayk
I'm a way different person than I was 10 years ago..I understand my upbringing has shaped me for better or worse as a adult. what's unfair is I brought up to her saying "you might find someone and not want me anymore so let's take things slow". She got all offended like I would be ok with if she found someone else. Which is what happened after we got divorced the first time. I can usually read a situation and try to descalate it. But for instance, I say let's take things slow you might find someone else. And then the topic is her getting offended because I stated a possibility. Her sexual identity is she has always been Bi-sexual since I known her. She broke up with her gf because she was using drugs again. I think she likes companionship more than she questions her sexual identity.
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37
My "shameless" relationship with my ex wife
by Jayk ini've thought about keeping this to myself but i'm still confused on what i should do.. my ex wife(never been a jw) and myself(raised in the org till 16)have been reconnecting these past few weeks.
we been divorced for almost 10 years, we got married when we where pretty young, and it didnt last long.. fast forward 10 years, her and i have been reconnecting and things are getting semi serious.. she got remarried, divorced again, and recently broke up with her gf.
so in the past 10 years she has only been with 3 people (including myself) and here comes me "a sucker with no self esteem".
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Jayk
King David I'm hoping for a situation like that. I wouldnt mind being in a relationship with my ex wife but I dont think getting "remarried" is necessary. I explained I still have feeling and I dont want to talk to other people. -
37
My "shameless" relationship with my ex wife
by Jayk ini've thought about keeping this to myself but i'm still confused on what i should do.. my ex wife(never been a jw) and myself(raised in the org till 16)have been reconnecting these past few weeks.
we been divorced for almost 10 years, we got married when we where pretty young, and it didnt last long.. fast forward 10 years, her and i have been reconnecting and things are getting semi serious.. she got remarried, divorced again, and recently broke up with her gf.
so in the past 10 years she has only been with 3 people (including myself) and here comes me "a sucker with no self esteem".
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Jayk
First off I was young and immature. Im willing to admit that was the biggest problem. But also I had/have a less than supportive JW family and I didnt realise how much that was gonna play a part. I'm having to come to terms with unless I go back to the org and marry a JW women. My JW family will not except my family. -
37
My "shameless" relationship with my ex wife
by Jayk ini've thought about keeping this to myself but i'm still confused on what i should do.. my ex wife(never been a jw) and myself(raised in the org till 16)have been reconnecting these past few weeks.
we been divorced for almost 10 years, we got married when we where pretty young, and it didnt last long.. fast forward 10 years, her and i have been reconnecting and things are getting semi serious.. she got remarried, divorced again, and recently broke up with her gf.
so in the past 10 years she has only been with 3 people (including myself) and here comes me "a sucker with no self esteem".
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Jayk
I've thought about keeping this to myself but I'm still confused on what I should do.. My ex wife(never been a jw) and myself(raised in the org till 16)have been reconnecting these past few weeks. We been divorced for almost 10 years, we got married when we where pretty young, and it didnt last long.. Fast forward 10 years, her and I have been reconnecting and things are getting semi serious.. she got remarried, divorced again, and recently broke up with her gf. So in the past 10 years she has only been with 3 people (including myself) and here comes me "a sucker with no self esteem". I'm not leading her on, I would like to see if things could work again, but I feel we should take things slow for obvious reasons. She is starting to push for us becoming more "official" but her way of doing it is standoffish and I'm trying to help her understand why we shouldnt rush into it. She has kids from her 2nd marriage, and I been trying to explain I don't want to get hurt again or hurt her. Should I pursue this, move on, or how do I help her see why we should take things slow... I'm so f×@#ing confused...