thanks everyone. ive been pretty busy with work so i havent responded. I might have been looking for comfort. i have family members who are very active in the ORG but they that reach out to me and dont preach. I try to keep a positive attitude towards my biological brothers. Like i said my oldest brother is a elder in his hall my 2 other brothers stand on the fence. they know the way we where raised wasnt okay not just because the religion but because out parents were unfit. its still a tought pill for them to swallow especially when they are slightly a bit more successful than me but only because they stood on the fence and i chose a side. reguardless, im living my life i have a great support group who arent apart of the ORG and know my life and have been so loving and its been great. i dont fall back on them unless i need to but they also know what they need me im not one to shy away. thank you all this forum has been amazing and inlighting and ill try to keep posting
Posts by Jayk
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Update: Its been awhile.. Sorta a long post but i'll have a TLTR at the bottom.
by Jayk inlast time i was really active on here i just found out ttbtt.. i was 28 at the time and now im 33. a lot has gone on but im finally able to live my life.
have my own apartment, steady job, a dog.
a big event that recently happened was a little of a year and a half ago my jw mom passed away.. i hadn't talked to her in over a year prior and i almost didn't go see her before she did.
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Update: Its been awhile.. Sorta a long post but i'll have a TLTR at the bottom.
by Jayk inlast time i was really active on here i just found out ttbtt.. i was 28 at the time and now im 33. a lot has gone on but im finally able to live my life.
have my own apartment, steady job, a dog.
a big event that recently happened was a little of a year and a half ago my jw mom passed away.. i hadn't talked to her in over a year prior and i almost didn't go see her before she did.
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Jayk
Last time I was really active on here I just found out TTBTT.. I was 28 at the time and now im 33. A lot has gone on but im finally able to live my life. Have my own apartment, steady job, a dog. A big event that recently happened was a little of a year and a half ago my JW mom passed away.. I hadn't talked to her in over a year prior and I almost didn't go see her before she did. I swallowed my pride knowing I might regret it if I didn't.. I wont go into details but she actually almost tried starting a confrontation with me a month before she passed when I went to see her but my step dad spoke up.. I knew she was ill for months and she was on her way out. The last 15 years or so I've been in survival mode trying to get my life together without any help..
Why Im coming on here is to vent a frustration. One of my hobbies I picked up is playing on a sports league Friday nights. Its sorta a wild story but some context is needed. I made a friend who played on a league, i started going to his games, and decided to get back into sports. I play with guys who are brothers, fathers and sons, and who have just been friends for years.. I have 3 brothers and we arent close like I feel brothers should be and its mostly them vs me when it comes down to it.. They all benefited from support of our mother till pretty much they got ahead and then wanted nothing to do with her. my older brother is the only active witness of us. Both sides of my family are JWs.
In a prior post I think I mentioned my mom was pretty abusive mostly to me growing up. It all ended one night when I was 16, she put me in the hospital and she was arrested in the hospital.. The next day CPS took me from my home I went to live with my dad and that was it. My case got lost in the system she got off. My step dad worked for a very successful company at the time. So the next few years my brothers and her all went on cruises together and other countries. It sorta stung at her funeral because when they where showing photos from over the years and I wasn't in a lot of them and they were all doing the things stated above.. I didn't think about it at the time but in the past 10 years there has only been 3 times me, my brothers and mom where all in the same room. One of those times was a week before her passing. I tried holding her hand and she did briefly before pulling hand away. Before she pulled her hand away she mouthed the words "im sorry".. The saddest part about that is she didn't want anyone to know she was dying (family, friends, ect) my step dad was dealing with it all by himself. Only a couple weeks before people were made aware of it.. She knew she wasn't a nice women and in her youth my mother was a very beautiful women. She didn't want people to see what she had withered into.
The weekend before her passing one of my brothers was helping take care of her. I was living my life as usual. A couple of my close friends knew what was going on while some of my new friends I have made had no clue.. My brother taking care of her sent me a text. I wont go into the whole conversation but it started out "hope you had a good weekend, did you hear mom died".(she was still alive). I made a couple family members aware of the conversation but he knows how I feel about the JWs so instead of starting a war with him I gave him a pass. (some of the things he said to me where outrageous, untrue, and delusional)..He actually made a threat on my life (I'm a lot bigger than him so you can assume his method was with a weapon). Im not sure if our bond can ever be repaired and the worst part to me is it feels like the family is sorta enabling his behavior and inviting him to functions and leaving me out of them. In the last year since my mom passed a lot of family members have been reaching out though. I'm pretty sure my mom bad mouthed me for quiet awhile and under the disguise of a Christian women they believe her.. But once I got my life together and started showing face at family functions I was invited to, people who knew me as a boy now are seeing the man I turned into.
The point to all this roller coaster of my life goes back to me playing sports again and the friend I made who got me into it. Lets call him Josh.. Josh is older than my oldest brother. He was raised Mormon in a household bigger than mine and when his family went thru a divorced her was the glue that held his sibling together. It bug me but I know there isnt anything I can do, how does that happened with my brothers who only 1 of them in a witness still while the other 2 arent yet they are all close with each other and I who dealt with the most as a kid is getting the short end of the stick. A friend of mine stated "it seems your mother created a culture of favoritism and you get the shit end of the stick". I know they have helped each other out when they needed places to stay but I was practically homeless for a better part of my 20s and had to resort to "self employment" if you know what I mean(not the sexual kind).
TLTR; Had rough start, finally getting to start my life. Brothers are still jerks to me when I haven't ever done anything against them. Is there any way to salvage or save our relationship?
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Did The Witnesses Predict the United Nations in Advance?
by TD init's been reported on this forum that bethel speakers at this summer's conventions are asserting that the establishment of the united nations in 1945 was predicted in advance by the witnesses.
this is being presented as validation of the claim that the witnesses are god's one true organization directed by holy spirit.. .
the basis for this claim originates with a public address entitled, peace - can it last given by n.h. knorr at the new world theocratic assembly, on september 20 of 1942. .
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Jayk
Ultimately this. I havent taken the time to read all the post but I think this is where the conversation is going. Eventually history does repeat itself. So if at one point all religion was 1 and it branched off to 3 or 4.. at some point a war would erupt and bring it back down to 1... then in another 1-20000 years the tree branches out again. But when does it stop is the question
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My JW mom tried telling me this
by Jayk ingoing thru a bit of a life situation right now... i should have listened to a few of your a couple months ago.
this girl i was seeing has completely stopped talking to me as of 2 weeks ago.
she springs on me she is pregnant possibly a abortion, but would consider adoption or sever the rights.
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Jayk
Thanks dub and I do ask myself those questions all the time to try to make myself better than I was yesterday. Shameless relationship this time. When I posted about her originally I was looking to see if anyone had been in a similar situation (she was my ex wife). When I say "blew up" the only words i said was "i prefer the abortion" she said "whatever you wish" and I said "fuck off for ever coming back into my life"..
The ex who spit in my face I never even raised my voice to when it happened. Only thing that makes me mad is when me and "shameless" got together I wasn't trying to rush into the relationship. She made me feel like I was leading her on which to assure her i wasn't i committed. But shamless decided to end it because she confided in me something one morning when I just woke up and she said i said something "insensitive". Which I wasnt trying to be she just had a bad night at work.
Her parents are completely on my side about this. She does this with her family. They dont pander her, but they try too reason with her so she writes them off. I know better also then try to argue with her but she tends to pick fights. Her little brother grilled me when I talked to her parents. (Her parents said I'm always welcome over) Conversation started "I dont even want to talk to you right now", to "you like jordan Peterson and Ben Shapiro? Yeah me to" to finally "I like you more than I like my sister right now.
I have not seem any therapy personally. But like mentioned above I do watch a bit of jordan Peterson and Ben Shapiro videos. Certain things I came to understand on my own for my own mental health "get good sleep, drink lots of water, stay off drugs, try to right your wrongs." I found out those men preach that type of lifestyle for anyone who has anxiety/depression/or overall bad mental health. I dont expect shameless to be into psychology/philosophy like me. But I hope that with my basic understanding I can help other people...
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My JW mom tried telling me this
by Jayk ingoing thru a bit of a life situation right now... i should have listened to a few of your a couple months ago.
this girl i was seeing has completely stopped talking to me as of 2 weeks ago.
she springs on me she is pregnant possibly a abortion, but would consider adoption or sever the rights.
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Jayk
She sent me a picture of some paper work from a OBGYN and she said "you dont have to worry about anything, everything is being taken care of". No where on the paperwork it mention a abortion took place. I told her 2 days before I was sorry for what I said and dont do it ill take the baby. Her next appointment is in January to talk about "birth management" which is birth control. Why would she go in January to a follow up appoint for birth control if they could have perscribed it that day.. I talked to a friend who works at a OBGYN and see said she is probably is showing she is pregnant and they will do ultra sound then.
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My JW mom tried telling me this
by Jayk ingoing thru a bit of a life situation right now... i should have listened to a few of your a couple months ago.
this girl i was seeing has completely stopped talking to me as of 2 weeks ago.
she springs on me she is pregnant possibly a abortion, but would consider adoption or sever the rights.
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Jayk
I told her from the beginning I would take the child if she didnt want it. I was supportive and comforting as I possibly could. Any avenue I could take to just calm her down, assure her I'll take responsibility, and keep the peace I did. She kept going in all directions trying to argue. She was probably extremely stressed out and I understand that. Abortion isnt her way, she rather put it up for adoption she doesnt want that to haunt her.
She finally got a rise out of me and told me I "disgusted her" for the things I said when she had been pretty much using this whole situation to get a rise out of me and bring me to her level..
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My JW mom tried telling me this
by Jayk ingoing thru a bit of a life situation right now... i should have listened to a few of your a couple months ago.
this girl i was seeing has completely stopped talking to me as of 2 weeks ago.
she springs on me she is pregnant possibly a abortion, but would consider adoption or sever the rights.
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My JW mom tried telling me this
by Jayk ingoing thru a bit of a life situation right now... i should have listened to a few of your a couple months ago.
this girl i was seeing has completely stopped talking to me as of 2 weeks ago.
she springs on me she is pregnant possibly a abortion, but would consider adoption or sever the rights.
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My JW mom tried telling me this
by Jayk ingoing thru a bit of a life situation right now... i should have listened to a few of your a couple months ago.
this girl i was seeing has completely stopped talking to me as of 2 weeks ago.
she springs on me she is pregnant possibly a abortion, but would consider adoption or sever the rights.
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Jayk
Going thru a bit of a life situation right now... i should have listened to a few of your a couple months ago. This girl I was seeing has completely stopped talking to me as of 2 weeks ago. She springs on me she is pregnant possibly a abortion, but would consider adoption or sever the rights. I was very supportive, comforting, as I possibly could while she was going thru a emotional situation. But she kept pushing and pushing till she got a rise out of me and I pretty much said "I prefer the abortion, fuck off"...
She probably isnt getting a abortion but my ex was mad I even suggested it. I know she is against it as well as I am. But I figured I better tell my mom what's about to happen. "Blah blah blah well jehovah tell use because the life was there you still have a chance of being a father".. are you talking about "in new system".. which is what she was referring to. My heart sank and I almost blew up on her but i just dropped it and changed the subject. Thanks for trying to pray on me in one of my most vulnerable times mom
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My "shameless" relationship with my ex wife
by Jayk ini've thought about keeping this to myself but i'm still confused on what i should do.. my ex wife(never been a jw) and myself(raised in the org till 16)have been reconnecting these past few weeks.
we been divorced for almost 10 years, we got married when we where pretty young, and it didnt last long.. fast forward 10 years, her and i have been reconnecting and things are getting semi serious.. she got remarried, divorced again, and recently broke up with her gf.
so in the past 10 years she has only been with 3 people (including myself) and here comes me "a sucker with no self esteem".
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