EyesOpenHeartBroken

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Posts by EyesOpenHeartBroken

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  33

  What are some things JWs re-name to make themselves different than Christians?

  by NikL in

  1. jw
  2. friends

  jws re-name things so they seem like they are different than other religions.

  (of course we know they are different but that's another story).

  i was just thinking about those things where they are like most everyone else in christendom but the re-name it to seem different.. for example god forbid they have a church, it's a "kingdom hall".. they don't have pastors and deacons they have "elders" and "ministerial servants".. they don't have tithing but they will have family heads fill out a paper saying how much they can contribute on a monthly basis (not sure if there is a name for that...unless it's tithing.

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  EyesOpenHeartBroken

  "Speaking the pure language" = using all the above mentioned WT engineered words fluently and fluidly
  
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  25

  Are There Many JWs That Have Actually Left?

  by minimus in

  1. jw
  2. friends

  it seems that most people who have been witnesses that i've known in the last 20 years are still jws.

  they may not be as zealous as before but they still remain as jehovah's witnesses.

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  EyesOpenHeartBroken

  This is anecdotal of course, but my observation of born-in JWs is about a 1/3 retention rate. I grew up in a fairly large western U.S. city with a lot congregations. Within my generation X in that city, at least 3/4 are faded or df'd. Most have easily maintained relationships with still in family. Most of the congs in that city only had about 50% of their publishers living in their territory boundaries--so many people just attended where they wanted (even elders). So fading was pretty easily done and keeping track of of who was actually "in" was pretty loose.

  Conversely, my husband grew up in a small Midwest town surrounded by rural farmland. Only one congregation within a radius of one hour drive. Very little movement in the area. Entire congregation are born ins. 3-4 generations in each family in the same congregation, so less people leave. Most are related to each other by blood or marriage, so the congregation and their family are kind of one in the same. And those who get df'd seem to return for reinstatement, probably because they are more anchored to the religion. Also, everybody knows everybody's business, so there isn't really the option of discreetly associating with faded or df'd family. Who knows how many are mentally out though.

  Now we are in a different area than either of us grew up in, but it's a lot closer in JW practice to the area my husband grew up in. I have to say it has been both suffocating and eye-opening. I think it hastened my awakening to the TTATT. Growing up in a looser, more liberal JW world kept me loyal and believing WT was a reasonable religion.

  Also, anecdotally, Generation X born in men in my area are not "reaching out". Positions are mostly held by baby boomers and old timers, with a few uber young men who still live at home. The family men keep responsibilities in cong minimal to none.
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  27

  Talked to a JW at a literature stand today

  by nevermind in

  1. watchtower
  2. beliefs

  guys,.

  i need your help in trying to wrap my head around this strange experience i had today talking with a jw lady sitting at a literature table in a busy outdoor shopping center.. i'm a very shy person, but i always wanted to ask these jws at their literature stands questions to start them thinking about the validity of watchtower teaching.

  i finally mustered my strength today to talk to this jw lady.

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  EyesOpenHeartBroken

  You may as well have been talking to my long time pioneer mother. Asking her these questions, she will give these exact justifications. She is really good at filtering and shoving square pegs into round holes by knocking off the sharp corners. And by the way, she is very intelligent. I find that it is more emotionally driven than cognitive.

  The problem is that because the GB and org has gained their complete trust and allegiance, they don't actually stop and think about contradictions they read or experience. Only when the cognitive dissonance becomes unbearable emotionally, will a JW start to question the org.

  Presenting facts really has little effect on most JWs.
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  15

  2 sisters called today

  by stan livedeath in

  1. jw
  2. experiences

  ive lived here 7 months now--and today was the 4th time some dubs have called--while i was at home.. they were probably about 60-70.. after i let one do her simple leaflet presentation--i told them i used to be a jw--but left over 40 years ago.

  and that i held the watchtower responsible for the break up of my family: and discussed shunning.. but the main thing i wanted to discuss--was the sale of their kingdom hall.

  they confirmed a sale was going through.

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  EyesOpenHeartBroken

  Stan- You may have made more impact than you think. The older JWs DO care about the money. They have been the ones financing both the borg and their local KH for all these years, and they have a certain expectation of how that money is spent. The young JWs in general are not big money contributors. In most congregations it is the elders and the old folks that are regular with donations. Add that to the fact that most old folks have a fixed income and I guarantee they think about the money.

  And I agree that staying 30 minutes at your door, when you already told them you were DF says something about their level of interest in what you had to say. Well done!
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  26

  Observations from an Ex-Elder Part 1

  by doubtfull1799 in

  1. watchtower
  2. beliefs

  i was thinking about the fog model this morning, particularly about the "obligation" part.

  my mind went back to the last elders school i went to.

  one of the parts in the section on appointments was discussing how we should not place too high a bar (human standards) for brothers to try and jump over when we are considering them for appointment as a ministerial servant.

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  EyesOpenHeartBroken

  True enough. The field service hours are the bottom line to defining someone's spirituality, goodness, and worth in the org. (And money is a close second).

  I know of two kind-hearted, truly "spiritual" young pioneer sisters who decided to incorporate into their ministry looking in on the elderly. Their idea was that they kept a list and systematically visited once a week with a hot meal and encouraging words and offered to do a chore or two. These elderly ones were truly touched and appreciative. In fact, one widow mentioned that she was visited by these sisters more than her only son (he was an elder in a neighboring congregation, 10 minute drive to mom's house).

  As you might expect, a short time later the 2 pioneer sisters were reprimanded by the elders for "running a Meals on Wheels". No more looking after widows. Back to only recruiting for the org. I'm guessing the elder son from the other congregation had something to do with it.

  So, yes, I wholeheartedly agree with the OPs observations.
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  27

  A Beard Maverick

  by EyesOpenHeartBroken in

  1. watchtower
  2. beliefs

  so i went to the kh for the first time in a month, and the first brother in our congregation has grown a full beard.

  i am in a western u.s. semi-rural area in a cong with an extremely conservative and controlling elder body.

  oddly enough, it seemed like people were going out of their way to converse with him and act like they didn't notice the beard or they complimented the beard.

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  EyesOpenHeartBroken

  Thanks for all the great responses! Only surrounding JW land could there be so much discussion on men's facial hair styling. Funny how much judgement beards have brought in over the years--always a sign of a rebellious heart, LOL!
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  27

  A Beard Maverick

  by EyesOpenHeartBroken in

  1. watchtower
  2. beliefs

  so i went to the kh for the first time in a month, and the first brother in our congregation has grown a full beard.

  i am in a western u.s. semi-rural area in a cong with an extremely conservative and controlling elder body.

  oddly enough, it seemed like people were going out of their way to converse with him and act like they didn't notice the beard or they complimented the beard.

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  EyesOpenHeartBroken

  So I went to the KH for the first time in a month, and the first brother in our congregation has grown a full beard. I am in a western U.S. semi-rural area in a cong with an extremely conservative and controlling elder body. Oddly enough, it seemed like people were going out of their way to converse with him and act like they didn't notice the beard or they complimented the beard. No negative feedback, but certainly a lot of interest in it.

  Curious to see how it will develop...

  If the point of the infamous "Beard article" was to confuse and distract the rank and file, then I think WT may get some distance out of this.

  Meantime, back at headquarters....
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  40

  Wife is Awake

  by freemindfade in

  1. jw
  2. experiences

  following the news of stuckinarut2, over the past few months my wife has completely mentally woken up.

  i've been meaning to post but haven't had the time.

  i saw stuckins post and i figured i'd add my news too.

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  EyesOpenHeartBroken

  So happy for you! I hope my hubby's story ends up this way too. We are wasting too much precious life on the WT illusion.
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  32

  Finally, after almost 3 years, they want to visit with me

  by StarTrekAngel in

  1. watchtower
  2. beliefs

  so i ended up going to the meeting yesterday.

  i have been absent for almost 2 months.

  my wife was also absent as long but mostly out of chance.

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  EyesOpenHeartBroken

  Just beat them at their game and take back the control. If you have conceded to the couple inviting themselves to your home "socially", then you need to own the evening.

  Insist that they come for dinner. I then would invite another family (non elder with kids) over. Pizza (or whatever sounds good) and board game or a movie. Keep it casual, fun, and kid centric. Be as gracious as ever and act oblivious to the reason they asked to come over. The key to this working is DO NOT tell the original couple you invited the other family or they may bail and try to reschedule.

  As nice as they seem, they are pulling a power play on you. Many JWs employ this tactic on bible students, return visits, and inactives and are clueless how to extremely rude this is. If the tables were turned and you invited your family to THEIR house on YOUR timetable, I guarantee they would be taken aback. If they really just missed your company and wanted to "socialize", they would invite you to their home or to go out to eat.

  They want the upper hand in the uncomfortable "encouragement" they are going to offer you. They probably have a vision of you and your wife having a heart to heart with them, breaking down in tears, and expressing your extreme appreciation for their care. Then in this touching moment, you pledge your allegiance to the Org and they pledge to continue helping (pestering) you.

  Don't offer any excuse/reason for your absence in JW stuff. The best is if you act like you don't even notice you are inactive. Keep it super light hearted and fun--and don't let the kids go off into another room--keeps things chaotic and not too deep. You will derail their plans.

  Remember--it's YOUR home. Don't give over your power. Just keep telling yourself everything is AWESOME!
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  22

  So.....Blended VS Single Malt

  by ctrwtf in

  1. jw
  2. friends

  just wondering.

  for you scotch lovers, i've been partial to singles for a long time, but was recently given a bottle of johnnie walker green.

  i think i've fallen in love.

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  EyesOpenHeartBroken

  Ooooh yummy, wifi! Love Glenlivet.