It's that damn beard, Schnell!
I can't tell you how many guys in the bOrg want a beard, but can't have one. A lot of sisters like them too. (Same goes for tattoos.)
BUT - they have to act all "loyal" (oh man I hate that word these days) and be all superior to you because you have left and have a beard and are happy and they are just sad and bitter.
Mr. Spiral has a beard too, it's quite handsome. I am certain yours is too.
Living well is the best revenge!