Hi Violet,
You wrote: Is it my constant questioning that's destroying my already weak spirituality or is it the association here?
Questioning cannot destroy one's spirituality, I believe. What destroys spirituality is having to swallow weak, unreasonable answers to these important questions or face punishment of some sort for asking them in the first place. It's when you ask questions and begin to get answers that make sense, are truly uplifting and thoughtful and when you are rewarded for insight and logic that your spirituality really begins to grow. As for associating here, true spirituality can survive doubters, dissenting opinions and arguments - being in a place where you are free to speak your mind without fear of being 'outed' is far better for your spirituality than being somewhere where your silence is expected when you disagree with the rank and file.
Just my 2 cents,
Silverleaf
disliked by members of the WTS for insisting on logical answers to my questions