It's hard to help when you don't know what they need help with. They got into a car accident, though no injuries other than being scared, and I wasn't aware of it until months later (my dad only told me when I came to pick up something). My brother, never officially DF'd is always in need of help (he went thru years of addiction and has trouble holding jobs among other problems). He is one avenue that I can assist my parents with. At times, me helping him puts me in a position to talk with my parents. For example, he crashed at my place for a few days and together we meet my Mom to help get my him some needed items. My mom was very cold and barely would talk or look at me. However, when it was time for me and my brother to leave, she turns to me and says, "I just have to..." and then gives me a hug with tears streaming down her face she says, "I love you so much!"