Thanks for all the comments everyone. As regards loving myself, I have taken care of that part. I have lots of friends now. Just the other day I drove through an area that I haven't lived in for over 7 years. I then reflected on my life back then and thought, my god I was depressed back then. Then I though, hmm... I didn't think of my self as being depressed when I lived here. While not quite the best articulation of thought, depression is the term I keep coming back to. While in the cult, I never felt happy. I had the guilt of never feeling like I was doing enough, guilt of being content with my life as is (not wanting to reach out more, something my ex always wanted to do), etc.
Now I have intellectual freedom and the lack of guilt. I can explore evolutionary biology to my hearts desire and it's so gratifying to me. Returning to university is a dream that I am now living. Life is wonderful. I say I was depressed when I was in the cult because I can compare how I feel now to how I felt then. I can compare what life is like on the outside.
I feel like Andy Dufresne free and enjoying life on the beach reflecting on my life and how much better it is compared to the Shawshank prison. Life is indeed good for me. I am so happy to be where I am today. Like Andy, I just hope to see my friend Red show up one day.