Posts by Conanthebeliever

23

Faith and Lies.

by sparrowdown in

if you were hooked up to a polygraph machine when you were still an asleep, kool-aid drinking dub and asked if you agree 100% with every single wt teaching (asked as individual questions and collectively), would you have "passed" with no signs of deception?.

i know, i definitely would not have "passed" such an interegation.

i would have tripped up on questions about blood, dfing and non jws being marked for destruction just to name a few.

Conanthebeliever

If I was hooked up to a machine, prior to my realization yesterday, I think it depends on the questions asked.

I doubt I would've passed on the blood issue, and if I knew how bad disfellowshipping was, I would also of failed this.

I found out yesterday the real 'truth'-after 7 months of study, I am so glad I found this forum. I was going to get baptized soon, and I know I have saved myself from a horrible life-I could not take the watching, constant worry that someone will tell on you for something you may not of even done, and not being able to question things would of definitely left me being disfellowshipped if I was baptized.

I am also glad you pointed out you are not debating the accuracy of polygraph tests, as we know how they work, anxiety could trigger a 'lie' detected.

But, depending on the questions asked, I definitely would not of passed 100%, now, the likelyhood of me passing would be a zero as I find more and more information, kindly provided by members on here for me to read.

All the best, Conan.

56

Hello, fairly new, studying for around 7 months, just thought I would introduce myself.

by Conanthebeliever in

hello everyone, i hope you are all ok. .

my name is conan, i am 25, and from the uk.

i have some brain damage, so i apologise in advance if my syntax is off or i go a long way around explaining things.

Conanthebeliever

Hi everyone.

First off-yes, I met them through studying, I never knew them before this, but felt a bond-this may be in my head though.

Although, I believe they are good people at heart, and are being misled.

HBH, yes I understand from reading these are the faithful and discreet slave, and I would love to continue being friends if possible, I have no problem with them, I like them, and really would like to keep the friendship if possible, but I realise this might not be possible, which does sadden me.

Freddo-I know you are not trying to trick or belittle me, I just believe the first landing was a hoax due to the technology they say they used at the time, the perfect launch and landing-and then the Van Allen radiation belts.

It may be where I am younger, and did not experience them for myself I am a bit more disbelieving, but I do know that things can be twisted by the media, so I do not see why things could not be twisted on an even larger scale.

I could obviously be wrong-I was not there, and I only have history to read, some photos, and information to decide on. I believe the later ones were possible due to the fast rise in technology-it may be possible NASA did achieve the first moon landing successfully, I will never know the absolute truth if I am honest.

Well, I think that it was a trick, to make the russians believe that the USA had made the first moon landing. To achieve this-the whole world, apart from the astronauts, and a very select few would know-people working in the mission control room may of even believed it. I know that sounds a bit far out there, and it is, but I do not think (Nearly)anything is beyond possible.

Faye Dunaway- I understand now that they have told me incorrect information. I hope it was mistaken information, as I class them as very nice people. I understand if I got baptized though, things would soon change.

I have been advised to do my own research, but using their material-I did deviate from this though, as I thought I would double check. The thing is, the things they was telling me (that I checked) were checking out-so I thought after a while "They have not lied to me, why would they start too now?".

I am just glad I found out more information today. I feel that I have been saved in a way-and I may also myself look into a traditional Church, or simply read the bible in it's entirety myself.

I will more than likely go for a traditional church-there are a fair few where I live, and I do believe in God and Jesus Christ-I am just now confused, are they two separate individuals, or one and the same?

As I found the verse "Father, why have you forsaken me" confusing enough when I knew/thought they was two different individuals-if they are one and the same, I am even more confused.

Thank you all, and all the best, Conan.

56

Hello, fairly new, studying for around 7 months, just thought I would introduce myself.

by Conanthebeliever in

hello everyone, i hope you are all ok. .

my name is conan, i am 25, and from the uk.

i have some brain damage, so i apologise in advance if my syntax is off or i go a long way around explaining things.

Conanthebeliever

Thank you all, you are very kind people indeed.

I have come to realise that what JW's actually believe is NOT what I thought, and was being told.

Who I am doing a study with said he liked Metallica when I mentioned I don't mind some metal-I don't like anything that talks about blatant evil and disrespect to god, for example I like the track master of puppets, which is a warning against substance misuse.

I was told it is not the music that is inherently bad, it is how it affects you, and metal is not too bad, it is more hard rock to watch out for by my friend. (I do not enjoy newer metal, I like 80's stuff where you can actually understand what people are saying, not death metal or anything that extreme-I think that is just silly). If it makes you happy, it is OK, but if it plays on your mind and makes you depressed, then it is bad. I thought well this seems pretty rational, the rest must be too.

I have learnt a lot today, and come to the sad realisation I am being told lies.

I hope that my friend, I class him as a friend as he has been nice to me, is just wrong, and not outright lying to me.

I feel in a hard position, as since my study started, my friends mum has got cancer. He is not in a good place, and neither is she, and he says that my study make him and his mum feel so much better. I do not want to hurt either of them, that would be the very last of my intentions.

So, ending my study will be very hard, as I do not want to cause my tutor or his mum any emotional pain, they are already in enough of it.

Godzoo, that may be a very good idea indeed, if I ask for older material that shows changes. I was reading that until 1954, you had to pray directly to Jesus, or you could risk being disfellowed, then that year they changed it, and praying to Jesus himself directly could get you disfellowed!

I know the best thing is for me NOT to get baptized, I will make sure that does not happen, but I feel in a real dilemma regarding HOW to go about it exactly.

406

ex-jw-uk

by bigmac in

jw
friends

i'm quite new to this site, & have realised some members have a union jack symbol under their avatar.

i don't.. could we have a "show of hands" from any uk members?

i've already found several by reading older posts..

Conanthebeliever

Well-I am around 7 months into my study.

If I am honest, I realised what JW's believed was very similar to what I already believed, and I thought this is great! The people are so friendly, I have finally met others like me. (I got bullied a lot when I was younger, I never was a fighting type, I was I guess what would be classed as 'meek'. Senior school was not as bad-I made friends,but they still ribbed me for being different, but junior school was a nightmare for me).

I realise now after reading information from non JW sources-I am being fed exactly what others are saying I will be told-I have already been told to put doubts "at the back of my mind and focus on the truth".

I also found it odd during my study, that I would be told to read a passage-I would carry on reading and would be told "no, just that part".

I now understand that is because they was keeping me in a state of seeing what they wanted to see.

I am going to terminate my study and going to the Kingdom hall. I have been going for quite a while, and realise now that it is not ME they love, it is that I have the same belief as them that they love. That is not unconditional love, that is completely conditional.

I found out that once I get baptized, a lot of things will change, and I will not be able to handle this due to my past issues, and the amount of control. I want to be able to have my hair how I want it-not an approved hairstyle by 7 men from new york. I live in the UK, not North Korea.

I am slightly saddened I will lose my 'friends' once I stop studying, but understand it really is not for me. I will continue to read the bible, as I do believe in a god, and Jesus Christ. I believe that god is unimaginable to any human, due to the realm 'he' lives in (I do not know if god is a powerful 'force' or a being, and the terms Father and son are used so us humans can understand better-and that it is similar to a father son relationship, but different to what we could even imagine, so terms are used we can understand).

I only discovered this site today. I did have some alarm bells in the back of my head. Reading more into it, I realise this is a road I really do not want to go down, for me, my family, and my future wife and family (Engaged, I have been with my partner for 5 years-straight relationship, I am male, she is female).

I am just glad I discovered what I would be in for once I got baptized. No way-plus the watchtower. JW's explain that they are the only faith that studies the bible and follows god's true word- but with the watchtower society, they are allowing human influence just like the Catholic church, who I have been taught are basically monsters.

I do not hold any resentment towards JW's though, and if I am honest, I wish we could all be friends.

I hold out hope that is what happens in the next life.

56

Hello, fairly new, studying for around 7 months, just thought I would introduce myself.

by Conanthebeliever in

hello everyone, i hope you are all ok. .

my name is conan, i am 25, and from the uk.

i have some brain damage, so i apologise in advance if my syntax is off or i go a long way around explaining things.

Conanthebeliever

Hi everyone that has replied, I hope you are all OK.

My brain damage luckily has only affected my emotions, memory and to an extent, my decision making. I do still have my faculties and can think for myself-I just get confused quite easily and my mood can change rather rapidly now.

I have not heard of "love bombing", but I guess I would not, but it seems to make sense.

I find it very odd that solid evidence will be labelled 'apostate' and lies from Satan. That is ludicrous. Also that they believe 7 men in new york are directing the worlds only true religion-I have been told so many times of the evil of the Catholic church, as they do not follow god's will, and distort things-but are doing the very same thing themselves.

Slidin fast, thank you for your kind comments. I in no way took anything you said as an insult, thank you for offering places I can make my mind up for myself.

Freddo-the moon landings. Well, it gets a bit into conspiracy theory territory, but if I am honest, I am not sure on the first moon landing. I believe maybe the later landings happened-but not the first.

Cha ching, I find that terrible what happened to you! You lost your friends just like that? I class a true friend as someone who is there for you, while you are for them-and their beliefs or being disfellowshipped should NOT stop that friendship.
Crazyguy, that is quite a good analogy. I am being shown the good at the moment, I now can research the other side without JW influence, and I am not liking it one bit if I am honest.
Joe Grundy-I will check that video out, thank you. I also think I will do better elsewhere.
And Hi Stan Livedeath, I will check that facebook group out now.
I feel a bit of a fool if I am honest. I guess this is one of those live and learn times. I can carry on being nice to people without JW's-and I also hold nothing against anyone who is a JW-in fact I wish we could all be friends.
Thank you all, my eyes have definitely been opened today, and it was not something I expected. I am glad it has happened though as I know I would very likely get ill being monitored all the time, knowing people are potentially going to go to elders if they even suspect me of something wrong, and I would always be on edge, wondering if I am going to be questioned for something I have not done. I am not good in those situations, so it definitely seems I will do better away from this.
All the best, Conan.

56

Hello, fairly new, studying for around 7 months, just thought I would introduce myself.

by Conanthebeliever in

hello everyone, i hope you are all ok. .

my name is conan, i am 25, and from the uk.

i have some brain damage, so i apologise in advance if my syntax is off or i go a long way around explaining things.

Conanthebeliever

Landy, that is true, there will be bitterness I guess from people who have left.

I like to know both sides of something before I commit to it-like for instance, the moon landings. I researched them, and made my own mind up about them.

I think I already have my mind made up-you are correct that my serious doubts are a big indicator-it is just when I go to the Kingdom hall, somehow, them doubts are not there. I don't know if it is due to everyone being so nice it just makes me forget.

I KNOW thinking about it though, not everyone likes me, I can tell-one is an old teacher who was very nasty, I can tell by the way she hardly talks to me or if she does, the fake smile is a giveaway.

I am going to do a lot more reading to make my own mind up, but I think I know which way it is going to go. I know I will miss my 'friend' though.

56

Hello, fairly new, studying for around 7 months, just thought I would introduce myself.

by Conanthebeliever in

hello everyone, i hope you are all ok. .

my name is conan, i am 25, and from the uk.

i have some brain damage, so i apologise in advance if my syntax is off or i go a long way around explaining things.

Conanthebeliever

Hi everyone.

I have been reading quite a bit on here, and thank you nowwhat? for the site showing jwfacts.

I realise I have been learning one side of the story, and taking JW's to be these kind, misunderstood people-but if I ever left because they could not answer one of my questions, they would no longer be my friends?

I believe in a god, I believe in Christ, but I really do not like what I am reading.

It seems that my friends who told me to be careful were right. I am just being fed half truths, and I am now scared.

I class the person I am doing my study with as a true friend, who is going through a lot at the moment, and I want to be there for him, but I understand if I no longer study, he will not be my friend :(.

I really am confused now joining here, but it might be the best thing I ever did if what I am reading is true.

I have a feeling of sadness, but also freedom.

Am I a bad person for joining here, wanting to meet other witnesses, then seeing the awful stories, and the real facts on JW's, and thinking that I could well be making a big mistake if I continue-possibly the biggest in my life.

Thank you everyone, and all the best, Conan.

53

Finally posting and I'm FRUSTRATED!!!

by stephanie61092 in

okay, i'm about to engage in a major word vomit.

just giving you fair warning as your time may be better spent somewhere else.. so, i'm sitting on my lunch break, bawling my eyes out, and writing on this forum to people i don't know yet probably have a great deal in common with but at the same time, used to scare the daylights out of me.

for years, i would come across this forum and 'lurk' awhile if you will, or see things on youtube.

Conanthebeliever

I am very scared at the moment.

I am brain damaged, and thought I had found something good-and have been told thing such as "Only a crazy JW would do that", "It was a small incident overblown", Or "that is not true at all, that is completely twisted".

What is COC? I would like to read it.

I have been studying as a witness for around 7 months, but after reading on here, I realise what others are telling me is most likely true. People don't like me at the hall for who I am, but just because I believe what they do. If I left, they would not be my friends would they?

I always had a 'moral compass', and helped others. Most people say I am the kindest person they know.

I just want to know if I am getting myself into something I really should not be, my brain damage affects my decision making and I am easily led.

I really need to know-I am not baptized yet as I am in a 5 year relationship with my fiancee, who is not a witness.

If it really is something bad, I want no part of it, I will still believe in a god, but I will believe in the way I already believed-very similar to JW's beliefs, although I believe god may of been passed down and down, with name changes, but is the one and the same.

I really could do with some advice.

Thank you all, Conan.

10

ARE JEHOVAH'S WITNESSES SUSPICIOUS, CYNICAL and WRONG? IF SO, WHY?

by Terry in

the intellect gives us our powers of conception, judgment, and free choice in the way which has separated humanity from the rest of the animal kingdom.

it really works and this is proved by the fact we are out of the food chain dominating all other species.. however, be warned!

human intellect is not a perfectly functioning machine.

Conanthebeliever

OK, I am slightly worried at the moment.

I have been studying for 7 months, (I was not a JW, I am studying at the moment), and I have been through many faiths, trying to find the one that fits me-I agreed to a study as I had so many questions, and once I started the study, I found that what JW's believed was what I already believed, I just was not aware of the fact.

Now-the reason I am worried.

I have never been lied to by who I am studying with, and have always been told to go and make my own mind up.

I also listen to some metal, and the elders at my KH are fine with that, they have said it is not the music that is inherently bad, it is how it affects YOU personally, if it makes you happy, there is no issue, but if it makes you down and depressed, there is an issue-which I saw as common sense.

I am having witnesses call on me at random times, I have been ill and someone I have known for a long time, before I was a witness, who is a witness, come to give me a get well card. I thought this was very kind.

I am just worried, as I have had a lot of friends tell me 'it is a cult', but I have found nothing to prove it is a cult-it just seems everyone is friendly, and I have finally found somewhere with others like me, who genuinely enjoy helping others.

People always saw me as a bit odd, as I would want to help others, and they would think I would have a hidden agenda-but I really do like helping others, the reward is the smile on their face once something is completed or even given to them, I like to make others happy, as I have been very depressed in my life, I never want others to feel the way I did. I did have issues with alcohol, that I have now beaten, and I found my extreme anxiety and depression was caused by a medical condition called hypogonadism-I am being treated for that now, and for the first time in my life, I feel well, mentally and physically.

I just have seen a lot of posts of people talking about the horrors they have gone through as children of JW's, and this worries me.

I am still pretty open minded, I am not baptized, but attend every meeting that I can, and it seems everyone likes me.

But, I am left wondering-do they like me because of me, or because I believe the same thing they believe?

I am brain damaged, and it has affected my thinking and emotions. I joined here to talk to other witnesses as i wanted to make more friends.

But, reading stories from ex witnesses is worrying me quite a lot. I believe in God/Jehovah, and Christ, but I am scared that I am going deeper into something I should not be.

There have been no alarm bells yet, so do I have a basis for worrying, or is it likely my brain damage making me worry? This is a big issue to me, I have trouble telling what is a real threat and what is in my head.

Thank you everyone, and all the best, Conan.

56

Hello, fairly new, studying for around 7 months, just thought I would introduce myself.

by Conanthebeliever in

hello everyone, i hope you are all ok. .

my name is conan, i am 25, and from the uk.

i have some brain damage, so i apologise in advance if my syntax is off or i go a long way around explaining things.

Conanthebeliever

Hello everyone, I hope you are all OK.

My name is Conan, I am 25, and from the UK.

I have some brain damage, so I apologise in advance if my syntax is off or I go a long way around explaining things.

I used to see JW's as just strange people, who knocked at your door occasionally, but I always had a discussion with them, and also I worked in a care home, and a resident was a JW, and her friend would come every week to read to her-I am now good friends with the lady who read to her. She come around the other day with a get well card and some grapes, I thought a lot of that.

I was searching for a long time for a faith, as I just had a feeling that there was something I needed to know.

I went through many faiths, searching, and could never seem to find the right one.

This was, until around 7 months ago, when two JW's knocked at my door, and was very friendly-I was ill at the time, and they asked if I wished to do a study as I was asking so many questions. I now do a weekly study with my friend who called on me, and also have attended Sunday meetings from the beginning (I have had to miss 2 sundays, for the first time ever, due to having a bad infection-I should be fine for the thursday meeting and my study on Friday though).

During the study, from the beginning I was shocked to learn that what JW's believe was already what I believed, I just did not know it.

What I love the most about this faith is that I am not told "This is it, you must believe it", but am told to go and do my own research into the matter if I want to, and make my own conclusions. I have not been lied to ever, and I like that.

I also really like my local Kingdom hall, I have made many friends. Now, this may sound very odd, but who I am studying with enjoys some metal, mainly metallica, and so do I. The elders are aware of this, and have said it is not the music that is inherently bad-it is how it affects you personally.

If it makes you happy, and is not inherently evil lyric wise, it is fine-however, if it makes you depressed or have bad feelings, then it is bad-which is common sense, another thing I like, a lot of what I have found is common sense. Also, generally just being kind to others, I have always been that way, and people saw me as 'strange' for seeming to care about others as much as myself, and thought I had some personal hidden agenda, as they could not imagine doing something for free with no gain for themselves-they did not understand I enjoy helping others, that IS my reward.

So, I thought I would just introduce myself, and hopefully get to know more people on here.

All the best, and kind regards, Conan.