Thank-you Becky for sharing a part of your journey, very encouraging............though the specifics of each of our experiences vary, the dynamics of guilt, shame, frustration, discouragement, anger, hurt, and at times despair are pretty much the same as we negotiate life in/thru/out of the WBTS. Yet pain is a great motivator and yes, problems are usually messages. I was the poster child for the "Witness that just couldn't get it right". My wife (just celebrated 26 yrs.) on the other hand, was doing all she could possibly do. You know the type, "elderette", pioneer, parts at assemblies.......but here we are today,like you, regaling in this strangely cathartic metamorphosis. It takes a lot of courage and FAITH to live life not "knowing" how it's all suppose to work-out. But it can also be profoundly amazing. Experiences like yours make my day. Sometimes my wife and I entertain ourselves by guessing who will be the next person to knock on our door, tells us they too have seen the "light", at which time we will all embrace, perhaps go our seperate ways and let this wild ride continue. Peace to you.
SloBoy