You obviously have your own reasons why you are putting yourself though this (family relatives still witnesses etc) but to be honest, if you are on THIS site and you want to meet up with fellow disfellowshipped people then your heart really isn't in it AND there is no way they would reinstate you if they knew.
Think very seriously about your reasons for going back and putting yourself through this charade (TWICE!).
Is this double life really the one that you want to live?
If you truly believed it all and wanted to do everything the JW way I would let you get on with it, but you obviously don't want to be fully committed to their teachings.
Right now you are free. Do a list of pros and cons and see if you really want to go through this again.
You will be back in no mans land again. Not truly belonging there with them or with the rest of civilisation on the outside of the org.
IF you truly believed what they taught, you would know that come 'armageddon' you would be killed anyway and would not have 'holy spirit". I don't know why you would voluntarily want to make this half-baked return to go back.
I am not judging....but trying to give you a virtual shake and get you to look at what you are doing.