@ Incognito - you nailed it.
There is a fear that some faded JWs not planning to return, that say nothing negative and remain friendly, will continue to be treated as a brother by many.
Fading keeps everyone uncertain of how the person is to be viewed, labelled and treated, which undermines WT requirements and methods of control and so goes against at least one of the rules WT has developed.
this has been my experience - on the rare occasion that I am with JWs other than my family, I am friendly and encouraging, which is confusing to them. And this is what feels empowering to me - that I can be respectful, kind and friendly with people I clearly don't agree on an important topic - it is a good example for them that people who don't agree with you or think like you any more aren't dangerous. And it is good exercise for me to practice holding my own in the midst of what could be pressure to conform.
I don't do it often, but knowing that I can go to the occasional JW event (weddings or funerals mostly) and enjoy myself without feeling stressed or triggered is a huge plus for me. For me personally, it marks a level of autonomy and grounding that I've worked hard to achieve. I'm glad I chose to fade. My life would have been much more difficult had I DA'd and I have a nephew that it was important for me to be available to so I could, as much as possible, guide him away from the JWs without it being obvious. So far, so good on that level too.
All that said, some people DA and that is what is the best choice for them. Everyone should do what they think is best. There is no easy way to leave - and for some people it takes leaving more than once.
I'm really glad we have this forum available to hash these things out in a safe space.