Posts by Brighton

24

My family

by lriddle80 in

i just wanted to get some feedback.

i don't want to go into the whole story, it's too long and it's been told by a lot of people here.

anyway, i think i am disfellowshipped or about to be.

I was wondering about the 10 year fade. I've been faded for at least that long, and I can't imagine anyone coming after me. Did you start to go back to meetings and refuse to confess your sins? Is that the issue? I suggest that if anyone is able to do a successful fade - to never go back. It will be so much harder to leave the second time around.

29

Why this obsession with Standardisation?

by eyeslice2 in

jw
friends

the longer i am out, the the less i understand the logic of this organisation.. i thought that the kingdom hall my wife attends was perfectly fine and adequate, in fact i liked that it sat in grassy grounds, surrounded by trees.

it probably wasn't in any dire need of re-decorating at this point.

others, obviously, thought otherwise and so the hall has recently been subjected to a make-over.. the parking lot has been extended in true joni michell they've "paved paradise and put up a parking lot".

Brighton

It makes sense from a business point of view. the more they buy in bulk, the more they save. And, when you are operating an organization of millions of people - then structure and standardization is important so that people have directions to follow, the same decisions do not have to be made over and over, everyone does their job in the same way, and the desired result is not derailed by personal preference. Scalability requires standardization.

It is why McDonalds, Starbucks, Costco, Olive Garden, Home Depot, etc are successful. Each of them are like the other and customers have come to expect a consistent product. Without standardization, that is impossible. And the quality of the service or product suffers.

Great for businesses - terrible for religion.

27

Great crowd article @ september study Watchtower

by Gorbatchov in

jw
friends

has anyone read the article about the great crowd in the september study watchtower?.

i read an elephant in the room.

is there a change comming?

Brighton

All the data they keep and publish - partakers, hours in the ministry, bible studies, etc is part of how they resist the scripture that says "No one knows the day or the hour..." - they use these - especially the partakers as a way to gage where they are in the stream of time. If they just let that go and focused on being good people and actually applying some of the spiritual principals - they would be much better off.

Of course, this means they would have no control over anyone - which is why they will probably never do it. And, that in and of itself is part of why they are appropriately catagorized a high control group - aka cult.

Brighton

60

Our congregation will be deleted

by Rattigan350 in

last night was the co's visit.

prior to his part, an elder had a part on following theocratic direction.

it was about our congregation being deleted (there are 2 sharing this hall) and the people and territory being divided up to the 4 other surrounding ones.. they say it is not about numbers but about making best use of resources.

Brighton

They just did this in Portland OR. On the one hand, they aren't getting their territories done fast enough or want to make sure the KH are at full capacity, and on the other they say it is due to big growth. It all depends on how you spin it.

21

Did your congregation ever throw special parties exclusively for Pioneers?

by Tenacious in

i'm trying to remember if these parties were a direct instruction from hq or if this was something on a local level.. i remember i attended at least 2 of these parties and we also would bring them gifts.

i saw them no different than a bday party (elevating someone to idolatry level).. if anyone else remembers these parties please let me know.

if there's a letter out there somewhere from hq that would be even better.

Brighton

As long as I can remember (40+ years) there have been special get togethers just for the pioneers. The gift giving though, seems to be a recent thing - my mom is a regular pioneer - so I hear about them and it seems to me the gifts started coming in the last 3 - 5 years.

40

Watchtower appeals in Montana.

by lastmanstanding in

i won’t steal barb’s thunder, but has anyone had a chance to peruse the appeal that watchtower launched yesterday?.

watchtower’s main argument is that stuff was said in confidence with confidentiality surrounding that confidence and they are confident that clergy confidentiality which is in confidence is confidential.. in short, it ‘was a secret and should stay a secret.’.

omg.. and watchtower claims that this verdict “violates the constitution of the usa”.. i wish the jury could tack on another $50m and include watchtower lawyers are to be hanged.. i just had to say something.

Brighton

1) Doesn't the clergy privilege extend only to "confession"?

2) These 2 individuals, in reporting their abuse, were not confessing to sin - they were reporting abuse.

3) If WT considers the report of abuse a confession of sin - that indicates they consider abuse victims as willing participants and/or carrying some responsibility for what happened to them.

If that is the case, it is even more disgusting than I thought.

SO glad I'm not part of it any more.

11

Anxiety

by BourneIdentity in

the first half of the may 2019 jw broadcast focused on anxiety.

for them to devote this much time to this issue is evidence there are many jws suffering from it.

i would assume at least half of the members from my observation over the years.

Brighton

Of course they suffer anxiety - on top of any biological vulnerability to that - they are part of an organization that does nothing but talk about how awful things are, things shouldn't be the way they are and that everyone on the outside is a dangerous enemy who will die for their wickedness.

No wonder I was suicidal for so long. That sort of thinking leads to paranoia and anxiety. And their answer is to just read the bible, pray more and go out in service.

NOT HELPFUL. they don't talk at all about how many people are anxious due to unresolved trauma. Meds and therapy are great tools for resolving that and reducing symptoms.

But of course, not mentioned. White Knuckle till the new system. THAT was a prescription I could not stomach.

27

3--2019-New Files Have Arrived!

by Atlantis in

2019 brd newsletter.

https://docdro.id/zcdi01y.

2019 brd visitor center newsletter.

Brighton

If it is not spirit directed, how is it Jehovah's Organization? Is it more like a fan club?

Yeah God!

77

Advice on Disassociating

by HiddenPimo in

hello my exjw/pimo/pomo friends,.

i am working on penning my da letter and wondered if i should use it as a tool to maybe wake up individuals as the boe will have to read it.. anyone have any advice on what i should say versus what i should leave out?

i am not going to fade as my family can either be loyal to blood or loyal to a man made religion.

Brighton

@Dubstepped I think you have it backwards:

Disassociating is something, like writing a letter of resignation, that you do to them because you don't want to be a part of someone or something anymore, it's not something they do to you

If this were true, you wouldn't HAVE to write a letter. Requiring people to write a letter of disassociation is about power and control. Can you think of any other organization that if you don't agree with them or attend their meetings they require you to write a letter which leads to a public announcement of your separation?

77

Advice on Disassociating

by HiddenPimo in

hello my exjw/pimo/pomo friends,.

i am working on penning my da letter and wondered if i should use it as a tool to maybe wake up individuals as the boe will have to read it.. anyone have any advice on what i should say versus what i should leave out?

i am not going to fade as my family can either be loyal to blood or loyal to a man made religion.

Brighton

@ Incognito - you nailed it.

There is a fear that some faded JWs not planning to return, that say nothing negative and remain friendly, will continue to be treated as a brother by many.
Fading keeps everyone uncertain of how the person is to be viewed, labelled and treated, which undermines WT requirements and methods of control and so goes against at least one of the rules WT has developed.

this has been my experience - on the rare occasion that I am with JWs other than my family, I am friendly and encouraging, which is confusing to them. And this is what feels empowering to me - that I can be respectful, kind and friendly with people I clearly don't agree on an important topic - it is a good example for them that people who don't agree with you or think like you any more aren't dangerous. And it is good exercise for me to practice holding my own in the midst of what could be pressure to conform.

I don't do it often, but knowing that I can go to the occasional JW event (weddings or funerals mostly) and enjoy myself without feeling stressed or triggered is a huge plus for me. For me personally, it marks a level of autonomy and grounding that I've worked hard to achieve. I'm glad I chose to fade. My life would have been much more difficult had I DA'd and I have a nephew that it was important for me to be available to so I could, as much as possible, guide him away from the JWs without it being obvious. So far, so good on that level too.

All that said, some people DA and that is what is the best choice for them. Everyone should do what they think is best. There is no easy way to leave - and for some people it takes leaving more than once.

I'm really glad we have this forum available to hash these things out in a safe space.