You're "secret friends"!
Nothing screams CULT like: "I have to pretend I don't know you/talk to you/like you and so I have to hide our relationship because ..."
Well, you know why.
Posts by jp1692
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12Cognitive dissonance and mental gymnastics in social media!
by stuckinarut2 inso over the last few years, the witnesses i know (who were close friends in the past) who follow me on instagram social media have been steadily dropping off and blocking me..... but there are a small number who are still friends.. i have noticed one sad situation for one friend who is clearly battling cognitive dissonance.
if she posts a picture and i leave a nice comment on it, my comment quickly disappears.
(she must delete it i guess) but then soon after she sends a nice private message asking how we are, or commenting on the post or activity.
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149
why jw's commit suicide?
by notalone inwe all know the rate of suicide is high among jw's.
my question is this- was there some subliminal messages that encourage this.
i was a born in and my entire life i would have these thoughts that could come out of nowhere,"kill yourself.
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jp1692
UTC: it certainly has a lot to do with the fact that the JW community is very insular. Also the high standards that are expected create feelings of guilt and never being good enough.
Absolutely. Those psychological forces are very corrosive to one's soul and sense of self, particularly for the more sensitive among us.
Thank you for sharing your personal experience in this regard. It must have been very difficult for you when you had no friends in the congregation and none outside. This is of course one of the most basic ways that high-control groups manipulate and control individuals, by socially isolating them. It's very effective.
Psychologist David Myers gives us some context as to the level of emotional pain that being ostracized can cause when he explains: “Because of the human desire for connection, solitary confinement is, with the exception of torture, the worst punishment” possible (2014, p. 436). Social exclusion and shunning is a virtual prison without bars.
I especially appreciated your concluding words of encouragement, UTC: Live your life and be yourself.
Unfortunately, that can be a very difficult thing for many people to do, especially those raised in a cult because their individuality and authentic identity were rarely nurtured; indeed, they were often crushed.
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149
why jw's commit suicide?
by notalone inwe all know the rate of suicide is high among jw's.
my question is this- was there some subliminal messages that encourage this.
i was a born in and my entire life i would have these thoughts that could come out of nowhere,"kill yourself.
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jp1692
Vidiot: I find it interesting that even when sincere, well-meaning fundamentalists go looking for evidence to support their worldview, all they seem to find is proof that said worldview is wrong.
And invariably they question the validity of the data rather than their own interpretation of it. Case in point!
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I was impressed by part of today's symposium entitled ' Safeguard your children from what is evil'
by UnshackleTheChains inwell i have to give credit where credit is due.
it was the part of today's symposium - build a house that will endure.
the part i was most impressed with was 'safeguard your children from "what is evil".
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jp1692
Are the elders now designated mandatory reporters of all suspected instances of child abuse, even when there is only one witness: the victim?
I doubt it. And if not, then much work remains.
Personally, I suspect talks like this are just window-dressing.
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29
Do You Ever Think Of ALL The Wasted Time Because You Were a JW?
by minimus inthe longer you are out the more you see how a cult steals all your time, resources and energy.
we wasted so much because we were witnesses!
👎.
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jp1692
Sure. What a depressing thing that is to do.
It is important to learn from that and to make the most of whatever time we might have left and live that life to its fullest, savoring every precious moment!
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34
1975 and the burning question/s??
by UnshackleTheChains inok. so i'm sitting there at the convention.
the video comes up about 1975 and the fact that the faithful brother in the video maintained his faith in the bible by adhering to the scripture that says:.
'no one knows the day or the hour as to when the lord is coming'.
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jp1692
UTC, thanks for posting the links to JWFacts!
Newbies gotta know the WT has been lying for a very, very long time.
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34
1975 and the burning question/s??
by UnshackleTheChains inok. so i'm sitting there at the convention.
the video comes up about 1975 and the fact that the faithful brother in the video maintained his faith in the bible by adhering to the scripture that says:.
'no one knows the day or the hour as to when the lord is coming'.
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jp1692
Sorry you are having to endure that propaganda.
At the risk of stating the obvious, "the date 1975" came from the then current WT leadership and was repeated by countless others in positions of authority.
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149
why jw's commit suicide?
by notalone inwe all know the rate of suicide is high among jw's.
my question is this- was there some subliminal messages that encourage this.
i was a born in and my entire life i would have these thoughts that could come out of nowhere,"kill yourself.
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jp1692
Ruby, you added the link to Friedson's paper, "Psychotherapy and the Fundamentalist Client," after I submitted my previous post.
That is an excellent paper on the subject and she does discuss Jehovah's Witnesses directly in the context of fundamentalist, high-demand/control groups. A key component of her over-all thesis is that Jehovah's Witnesses as well all "Fundamentalists who experience psychological distress may hesitate to obtain help from the mental health community."
This is a very real and serious problem.
However, Friedson only addresses suicide in reference to current and ex-members that are dealing with gender and sexuality issues. She does not discuss it among these people in general. Nevertheless, her research is solid and her conclusions informative.
She writes that the "psychological consequences of such attempts to deny one’s self are dire" and (citing Lalich and McLaren, 2010, p. 1311 ) "increase the potential for self-destructive behaviors, such as alcoholism, drug use, and suicide" (2015, p. 700). - [Emphasis added]
It should be noted that Friedson's work is directed toward educating mental health professionals about helping former members of fundamentalist, high-control groups and was not written with the purpose of educating people dealing with those issues or directly helping them. At the time she wrote this paper, she was a doctoral candidate in the clinical psychology program at the Derner Institute for Advanced Psychological Studies at Adelphi University.
Consider this caution she shares with her intended audience, therapists and clinical psychologists:
Therapists who were not raised as Jehovah’s Witnesses may view their patients through their own personal biases; some may see many of the practices and teachings as extreme, contradictory, irrational, and/or unhealthy. The temptation may be to try to refute beliefs that are offensive and/or detrimental (2015, p. 710).
One of Friedson's goals is to create a therapeutic alliance with the patient, an approach which she describes as “culturally sensitive psychotherapeutic interventions” (2015, p. 711).
But to bring this back to the point of the OP, the relevant part of Friedson's work is that a fundamentalist mindset can lead to extreme emotional distress thereby inducing mental disorders such as anxiety and depression, and that the religious pressure to deny self can cause some individuals to become suicidal.
Her purpose in writing was to help therapists not familiar with fundamentalist belief systems treat ex-members suffering from these emotional and mental illnesses, to help them recover and find relief--primarily through cognitive behavioral therapeutic approaches to psychotherapy.
Again, this is not a paper intended for the general public and especially not for someone feeling suicidal.
(FYI: Friedson does not mention or reference Hassan in this paper).
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149
why jw's commit suicide?
by notalone inwe all know the rate of suicide is high among jw's.
my question is this- was there some subliminal messages that encourage this.
i was a born in and my entire life i would have these thoughts that could come out of nowhere,"kill yourself.
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jp1692
What do Eilleen Barker or James Penton have to say on the subject of relevance?
It's really tiresome that you throw out these vague assertions and generalizations with no evidence. Every time, and I mean EVERY SINGLE TIME, I have chased down one of your leads I get they same result: they do NOT say what you say and they do not support your assertions.
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149
why jw's commit suicide?
by notalone inwe all know the rate of suicide is high among jw's.
my question is this- was there some subliminal messages that encourage this.
i was a born in and my entire life i would have these thoughts that could come out of nowhere,"kill yourself.
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jp1692
Ruby, although Furuli is definitely a scholar by most academic standards, his field of expertise is Semitic languages, not psychology. He is also well known for being a rabid JW apologist:
Based on his studies, Furuli has attempted to defend the religious views of Jehovah's Witnesses—of which Furuli is a member—including their view that Jerusalem was destroyed by the Babylonians in 607 BC rather than the broadly recognised dating of its destruction in 587 BC. - Rolf Furuli
His bias and lack of objectivity is obvious in everything he writes concerning JWs.