ATJ, great post. Really, really thoughtful.
I too, many years ago, have had the experience of an indoctrinated phobia paralyzing me when I returned to a KH after thinking I'd got it all worked out.
The trauma that the cult experience wreaks on our psyche is profound. It seems that it is worse for some of us than others, but it is never good.
Thank you for your encouragement to seek professional help if we aren't coping on our own. From my own experience and the anecdotal accounts of the few that have shared with me theirs, it doesn't seem like we need a long, protracted series of therapy sessions that never end. But most of us need something more than we can do on our own.
I have always appreciate your posts and (in case I've never said it before) you were one of the ones that helped me when I began posting here years ago.
jp