f2f,
Thanks for the brief intro. I'd suggest you take a breath, give it some thought and compose a nice introductory essay (it needn't be too long, and what you've got above is a nice start) and then post it as it's own, separate thread.
jp
this is bigger than christmas and birthdays wrap into one.
thanks to the australian royal commission our youngest son has woke up.
we received a e-mail from him tonight where he apologized to us for shunning us all these years, how bad he felt for doing this.
f2f,
Thanks for the brief intro. I'd suggest you take a breath, give it some thought and compose a nice introductory essay (it needn't be too long, and what you've got above is a nice start) and then post it as it's own, separate thread.
jp
i'm writing for some advice from former jws.
my family is christian, and my 15yo daughter is "dating" a jw boy.
(the quotes are because they aren't old enough to actually go out on dates... they consider themselves bf/gf and have hung out and gone places with each other, but always with parents, family, etc.
Jerryh: CP, NEVER quote anything and say it came from this forum
Totally gotta' disagree with you here. CP and her daughter were never JWs and don't have to worry about silly JW rules.
In fact, it is important that CP and his/her daughter consult a variety of sources, try to evaluate the objectivity and bias of all of them and reach an informed conclusion.
It would be particularly powerful for CP's daughter to talk to her boyfriend and say, "Look, I've examined jw.org, jwfacts, a forum of ex-JWs and also several independent governmental websites investigation JWs as well as a variety of journalistic sources and what I've found it ...."
This could be a really great learning experience for CP's daughter.
CP's goal is to keep her daughter safe and to prevent her from joining a cult. It is not to attempt to "rescue" her daughter's boyfriend and/or get him to wake-up and leave the cult. If that happens, great. But he's only 15 and has a long, hard road ahead of him that HE has to figure out and walk. And he has to do it for himself first and foremost.
this is bigger than christmas and birthdays wrap into one.
thanks to the australian royal commission our youngest son has woke up.
we received a e-mail from him tonight where he apologized to us for shunning us all these years, how bad he felt for doing this.
former2free,
Welcome to the forum!
Your story (including your parents) is heartwarming and encouraging to many of us here.
I left the religion 9 years ago and have two adult children that are still in. Sadly they both totally shun me despite ongoing attempts to reach them. So you can imagine that hearing about your reconciliation with your parents gives this father's heart some measure of hope.
New -- or in your case, returning -- members often create an introductory post and explain a little bit about their background and how they've come to this forum. We already know your parents side of the story. Now we'd like to hear yours!
I'm sure I'm not the only one that can't wait to read it.
jp
i'm writing for some advice from former jws.
my family is christian, and my 15yo daughter is "dating" a jw boy.
(the quotes are because they aren't old enough to actually go out on dates... they consider themselves bf/gf and have hung out and gone places with each other, but always with parents, family, etc.
CP: My dilemma is this: should I just let things continue as they are (since they are so young and it will probably fizzle out long before I really need to be worried), or should I prevent their interaction as much as possible without outright forbidding her to date him? I don't want to just forbid it because I think that would pull her away from me, and we are very close.
Great questions, CP.
And your further elaboration paints a very different picture of things from the limited information in your OP. Thanks for explaining.
(BTW, you can only edit a post for about 1/2 hour after you initially post it. After that just add a new post to continue the conversation exactly as you have done.)
Have you shared your concerns about the religion with your daughter? Perhaps you should encourage her to do her own objective investigation of it. She could compare what she finds to what the boys says and to what his parents say. Then you can help guide her choices. This will teach her important life skills while keeping the lines of communication open between the two of you and not push her away or drive her “underground” into deception and/or trying to hide the relationship from you.
You might even gently point out the significance of the fact that the boy feeling that he has to hide some of his actions from his parents is a serious, red flag -- a warning that should not be ignored!
those of you who own glock pistols know that it takes a bit of know-how or work to open a glock magazine for cleaning, or for adding a magazine extension to increase round capacity.
the reason why glock chose this method of retaining is to prevent accidental release of the magazine springs and cartridges in case they are dropped.
the military and law enforcement agencies appreciate this system more than the average joe.
Sig Sauer
i'm writing for some advice from former jws.
my family is christian, and my 15yo daughter is "dating" a jw boy.
(the quotes are because they aren't old enough to actually go out on dates... they consider themselves bf/gf and have hung out and gone places with each other, but always with parents, family, etc.
CP: as I started doing some research into the organization, I've gotten really nervous about the whole thing.
You should be nervous, very nervous. You are absolutely right to be concerned.
JWs are a high-control, authoritarian religion that destroys families. Many—if not most—of us on this forum used to be members of this religion, and we have had our families torn apart by it. The damage is devastating. It is not an overstatement or an exaggeration to call it a destructive cult.
There are many, many reasons you do not want your daughter involved with Jehovah’s Witnesses.
For example, they have a well-documented problem with pedophiles in their religion and the leadership has a decades long history of covering it up.
Do a Google search of “jehovahs witnesses sex abuse” and you’ll see for yourself.
Here’s one link to get you started:
The ARC found that from the JWs own records over a fifty year period there were “reports or complaints of child sexual abuse by 1,006 members of the organisation.”
Out of all those reports, not one was ever reported to the authorities. Not one. Zero.
And that is just in Australia alone. These problems are endemic with this religion and they are a global concern.
You need to protect your daughter. Get your her away from this religion, far away.
looking back on my two decades as a jehovah’s witness, i’ve come to realize how the constant theme of endurance is playing a detrimental role on the individual's psyche.. jehovah’s witnesses have become far too good at keeping going.
they’re experts at surrendering to the demands of the watchtower, living up to what’s expected of them, and getting on with the priorities that those in power have defined and imposed upon them.
they keep showing up, presenting themselves a dutiful pioneer or ministerial servant.
Another great thread from Wake-me!
As I posted on another thread:
"To be able to feel sadness and pain without either being consumed or incapacitated by it is in itself an achievement. It is—I have learned—a measure of our progress and growth. A marker along the pathway to healing." - jp1692
in the months or years since leaving the organization, how do you think you have progressed as a person?.
(or if you have regressed too i guess?).
what aspects of personal development are you happy with?.
"To be able to feel sadness and pain without either being consumed or incapacitated by it is in itself an achievement. It is—I have learned—a measure of our progress and growth. A marker along the pathway to healing." - jp1692
this is bigger than christmas and birthdays wrap into one.
thanks to the australian royal commission our youngest son has woke up.
we received a e-mail from him tonight where he apologized to us for shunning us all these years, how bad he felt for doing this.
Thanks for the update. Get some rest, you’ll need it!
not quite a week ago, @lost in the fog created a thread entitled: do you have this illness?.
https://www.jehovahs-witness.com/topic/5187824140681216/do-you-have-this-illness.
in my year of being on this forum, i have browsed many a disillusioned thread of ex-jehovah’s witnesses expressing similar symptoms of post traumatic stress disorder when detailing their awakening - my own story included.
ATJ, great post. Really, really thoughtful.
I too, many years ago, have had the experience of an indoctrinated phobia paralyzing me when I returned to a KH after thinking I'd got it all worked out.
The trauma that the cult experience wreaks on our psyche is profound. It seems that it is worse for some of us than others, but it is never good.
Thank you for your encouragement to seek professional help if we aren't coping on our own. From my own experience and the anecdotal accounts of the few that have shared with me theirs, it doesn't seem like we need a long, protracted series of therapy sessions that never end. But most of us need something more than we can do on our own.
I have always appreciate your posts and (in case I've never said it before) you were one of the ones that helped me when I began posting here years ago.
jp