Posts by Hadriel

52

Time to Spill my Guts

by Hadriel in

been lurking around here for several weeks.

posted once or twice but not too much.

i'm a covert fade at the moment.

Hadriel

@ToesUp great advice appreciate ya.

Thanks to everyone in here today!

52

Time to Spill my Guts

by Hadriel in

been lurking around here for several weeks.

posted once or twice but not too much.

i'm a covert fade at the moment.

Very well said. Yep we are pretty honest and direct. They have been told to reach out at school. To get involved in other things. Being able to play sports was pretty much music to their ears. I don't want to give too much away as to identity (my apologies) but growing up I was very good at a sport. Scholarships and the whole nine yards. I wasn't supported. It was likely I could have turned pro. I had been told that for years. I was forced to abandon it and regretted it ever since. It had nothing to do with the money or fame. I loved that darn game and still do.

52

Time to Spill my Guts

by Hadriel in

been lurking around here for several weeks.

posted once or twice but not too much.

i'm a covert fade at the moment.

Hadriel

@Giordano

Great point on the blood cards. I'll revoke those puppies today! Nope none baptized thankfully. I never bought into the get baptized at a young age movement. I used to joke if they get any younger we'll be sprinkling water on babies just like the Catholics before long LOL.

That quote you just posted is flat out Gold. Wow does that hit the mark or what!

52

Time to Spill my Guts

by Hadriel in

been lurking around here for several weeks.

posted once or twice but not too much.

i'm a covert fade at the moment.

Hadriel

@FayeDunaway

I appreciate that. Although I would argue on the intelligence front. If I was smart I would have figured this all out a lot sooner. Feeling pretty duped these days ha ha.

@TheSearcher

I hear ya on that front. I'm pretty careful and only mention things that are factual and cannot be portrayed as anything other than "boy this seems odd don't you think?"

I can be active in assisting others without being "found out" rather easily. Truth be told the digital world is my world not their's. meaning they won't find out anything I don't want them to. I can't give too much away here but I'm sure you get the drift.

@NeverendingJourney

Oh I totally hear you. Glad you brought this up as I read it back and got the same impression you did. Yeah I'm not saying they're absolved. I've heard the same stories you have. I can't say specifically why but I'm aware of the inner workings quite conclusively actually. My point was more to the Juggxrnaught this whole thing is. It's as if it is a being itself or something. Maybe I'm not quite explaining it right but the point is people do and say things they might not normally all because of an idea. The "truth" as it were has little effect.

@MrsObfuscate (btw do you know what obfusticate means, it's a tech term! I like it!)

Yep still in school. Not too much longer. Just encouraging them to engage with others. We had a lengthy talk about what good friends are. I reminded them how many times they've had bad experiences for one reason or another. They both agreed. I said you'll have that in or out. in life we have our mate and maybe one or two close friends plus your family. In the end that's what it often works out to be. Basically the point I was trying to make is that either in or out of the organization making long lasting friends is work and effort.

52

Time to Spill my Guts

by Hadriel in

been lurking around here for several weeks.

posted once or twice but not too much.

i'm a covert fade at the moment.

Hadriel

Finkelstein

I couldn't agree more my friend. The whole idea of prognosticating dates is a dangerous business as any faith that has done it has been forced to then continue adjusting or adding new "truth" to maintain its viability.

That in itself should awaken us but the indoctrination to never question a thing prevents seeing how absurd and not of God it is.

52

Time to Spill my Guts

by Hadriel in

been lurking around here for several weeks.

posted once or twice but not too much.

i'm a covert fade at the moment.

Hadriel

ToesUp

Yep, although it was after I had already woke. Honestly I went about it the very hard way. I used only society pubs and secular history. What pretty much put the nail in the coffin was 607. The fact the organization has held onto that teaching is beyond me. The more that find out about it the more there will be that leave.

So using only their own pubs and a few emails with museums, archaeologists and the like I realized it was impossible for 607 to be true. At the turn of the last century many of the tablets in the Neo-Babylonian area had yet to be found or translated. Now we have thousands.

Subsequent to my own digging I fell upon "Gentile Times Reconsidered". The author in my opinion is the leading authority on this topic. I had dug many hours coming to my conclusion. I read this man's book and realized I hadn't even scratched the surface.

That then led me to Franz's book which I read without putting it down. Cover to cover. You simply can't read that book and stay a witness. At least not in good conscience.

I was so moved by it I offered help to the current copyright owner, her name is Deborah. I'm helping her organize some things so that she can get it back into publication which desperately needs to happen.

Again 607 was a huge deal to me. At this point and I don't mean this in an arrogant way whatsoever it's just the logistics of the matter, but I'm an asleep witnesses' worst nightmare if they want to talk 607, 1914, 1919 and the prophecy in Daniel 4...ha ha. I've put so much time in on that subject it's silly.

52

Time to Spill my Guts

by Hadriel in

been lurking around here for several weeks.

posted once or twice but not too much.

i'm a covert fade at the moment.

Hadriel

Thanks Lois. I've thought about that with my dad.

He's so a company man that he may simply turn me in I'm not sure. If we decide to in fact move I will probably take you up on that advice.

good point about moving where there might be better opportunities.

Lots of good posts in here by all of you. I really appreciate it. Every bit helps. Not the needy type but as I've said to others leaving this gig you feel like a dang toddler desperate for some sort of safe haven. Crazy feeling.

52

Time to Spill my Guts

by Hadriel in

been lurking around here for several weeks.

posted once or twice but not too much.

i'm a covert fade at the moment.

Hadriel

Scripture reference: (Rev 22: 18,19)

18 I warn everyone who hears the words of the prophecy of this scroll: If anyone adds anything to them, God will add to that person the plagues described in this scroll. 19 And if anyone takes words away from this scroll of prophecy, God will take away from that person any share in the tree of life and in the Holy City, which are described in this scroll.

52

Time to Spill my Guts

by Hadriel in

been lurking around here for several weeks.

posted once or twice but not too much.

i'm a covert fade at the moment.

Hadriel

Goat Herder's Guide to the Galaxy

...this line has me literally cleaning my monitor. too funny.

52

Time to Spill my Guts

by Hadriel in

been lurking around here for several weeks.

posted once or twice but not too much.

i'm a covert fade at the moment.

Hadriel

Been lurking around here for several weeks. Posted once or twice but not too much. I'm a covert fade at the moment. I thought it would be simple to just fade away but it isn't. It's probably what I should do but I can't shake the feeling you have when you're in wet or dirty clothes you simply want them off!

Both the wife and my older children are awake now. That might seem like a big relief and it is, however the children being teenagers and dependent on their friends concerns me. The difficulty in finding new friends when your entire life has been only in the organization freaks me out. Worse yet I imposed the sanctions/restrictions in the first place.

For now we are covert as revealing our true feelings will no doubt get us shown the door putting the teenagers in dire straights with their friends.

That said I don't know how much more I can take now. It is literally eating away at me. I hate lying to people. I never thought it would be so difficult. My work is such that I could live just about anywhere and we may once the kids are out of school take advantage of that ( any ideas? any country?).

Without getting into every detail (or boring you, you've heard it all before) I was the model child as a witness. Lots of talks, pioneering, parts for everything imaginable. The child other families pointed to when wanting their sons to excel in the organization. However as an adult I couldn't bring myself to progress as expected by others. When it came time to serve I refused even though I had more than met the requirements.

I couldn't bring myself to ever judge others. To take time away from my family as my father had done. I had always resented when he would be whisked away to committee matters even special cases far away. Pop is truly a company man. My leaving will crush him and I hate that as he really is a kind person. In fact if the organization ran as he saw fit it would be significantly different. That said I can't give him a pass for ignoring things that are clearly wrong and without compassion.

Speeding back up to our current day It should be said that our exodus or start of it here, is not the result of any major event. There's no judicial matter or anything of the sort. In short I set out to prove someone wrong about the organization and found out they were the one's that were right not me. It was devastating. I prayed for hours for it to be wrong. No matter how hard I prayed or how many times I looked up the same information it was always the same. it always pointed to the fact that the entire structure I had built my life by was a complete and utter farce.

To say I was devastated would be an understatement. From there it was clear I had to get my family out. I knew it would be tricky so I posed it this way to my wife. I said here are five things I've come to know. They were all significant. Things like 607, previous false and ludicrous teachings and so on. I gave her those five issues and said prove me wrong and I'll repeat immediately. It was key that I used ONLY the society's literature and statements.

As you might expect she had no chance of proving these things false. Almost immediately she awoke. The teenagers were a different story and I can see their young minds still have a significant draw to the organization much like "King Candy" to his demise in Wreck it Ralph.

I'm so close to moving them away simply as a protection for them. However I'm torn as I know at least at first they'll resent me from taking them away from their friends. If you have experience in this dept. please speak up.

As to what's next I'm not sure. As to what I believe now I couldn't say with any certainty. I say that because the bible I've been using has been so horribly butchered. I've been looking into Koine Greek for some time now and it is clear that the texts have been manipulated to fit doctrine and opinions of the organization. How those men can sleep at knight knowing Revelation 22:18,19 is beyond me but that's another story.

So I'm left now as I near middle age with the task of relearning all I've been taught. I'm left with not having a clue what the bible even says really. As I read the scriptures now they take on a different meaning. I still have a hard time believing there isn't a supreme being of sorts as it is hard to accept evolving to complicated being from a single cell organism. For the wife she may be done with religion and God altogether. Can you blame her? Or anyone for that matter? Who knows where we'll end up. I can assure you this though. Wherever I land it will be the result of intense scrutiny.

As to my feelings toward the organization it's pretty simple really. I don't hate anyone. The friends in general are good genuine people. I don't fault them for staying in line as they fear expulsion for even the idea of a dissenting thought. Although I believe the governing body feels they are doing right in most cases they are guilty of knowing that they don't agree themselves yet hold others accountable to their decisions that they can't agree on themselves. This one point to me is significant. See the organization as a whole is a victim of itself. People are generally afraid to ever speak out or question anything. Even down to the governing body themselves. It nurtures the idea that the organization is never wrong. That it never makes a mistake. Which in turn harmful practices to never be changed or worse get created in the first place.

Although I wouldn't say I'm angry I am very concerned about my family and friends that have yet to see the organization for what it really is. Liam Neeson said "I'm a man with a particular set of skills" in the movie Taken. Well I'm much the same in the digital world. I intend to use my skills to the fullest to make people aware. For that reason any extra time I might have and within reason, will be spent utilizing these skills to make others fully aware and hopefully fully awake. My abilities are such that they are beyond the typical person that puts up a website for example.

I'm kicking around a lot of ideas. Perhaps beyond a digital presence maybe a webcast with guests and live callers. This is all in our day to day wheelhouse.

In the end and at least for now, I can't sit idly by watching the constant manipulation of people's lives. I hope even if small I can make a difference for someone as others have done for me. That is largely the only goal here.

A quick thanks to several

Marc & Cora
Lloyd Evans (JW Survey)
Paul Grundy (JW Facts)
Eric (JW Struggle)
Kim & Mike
This forum itself

Of course there are many others. My apologies for those I've forgotten to list by name. There are many. An email here or there that really helped me realize I wasn't losing it.

For any of you that may need a hand or simply someone to speak to just send me a PM. I'm more than happy to assist others as I have been assisted.

Regards,

H