Two things I know at this point in my fade. Pretty much everyone goes through the same feelings. Secondly no one should have to deal with this conflict within self and their family. Just shouldn't be.
The way I've been expressing things to my family is here are x number of things, they have shaken me, I'm conflicted. I wish someone could prove them wrong.
Some will be compelled to set out and prove those concerns you mention wrong. They won't be able to.
The result is quite incredible to see.
I find no joy in it other than knowing that I've gained them and that I might have saved them from refusing blood or adhering to some other thing that could cause loss of life etc.