@ Phizzy Gosh you did think it through more than me when I was a JW. I never felt unworthy of the new system back when I believed in it, but never had fear of God good or bad fear that could have been. To me, seeing that we were told love was the greatest of God's qualities I figured what's to fear about a lovable being. Then years later when I was out of the dubs and free to satisfy my full curiosity about other religions and realized how bible stories were more or less all depicted in other major religions, that's when I started to unmask the reality of things.
@ Amelia I hear what you're saying. I have been through very dark times in life too, where it comes to finance and health but even during those times I did not feel the need to call on a god to draw strength or courage.
I don't know your situation so please don't feel I'm telling you what to do, I'm just saying what worked for me when things don't go the way I need them to go. I get pen and paper and draw a plan of action to get me out of the proverbial sh*t. Then when I do that I see that a lot of the stress I was causing myself was emotional. Over the years I've learned to delay my emotional reaction to problems even if it's only a couple of seconds delay, so that I give time to my logic to kick in and usually helps me concentrating on finding a solution rather than how stressed it makes me feel. Also I've learned to enjoy small things in life and find things to be happy about even in bad situations. Gosh I'm not excessively optimistic, I'm far too much of a realist to be that, but it definitely has helped to stay positive when facing problems. With regards to you, the positive side is that at least you are out of the illusion and late is better than never. If you had been still in you would have still had to face the same issues so why not use the mind frame you used to have when you were a JW but instead of see god as the answer to your troubles, see yourself.
One thing that I have noticed and despise about the WT is that with the things it teaches it takes away self reliance on people. They brainwash people so much that without god we cannot do anything, we cannot succeed, we cannot make right decisions, etc so when they get out, many suffer the psychological trauma of that.
Those who come out need thinking rehabilitation on this particular aspect, to start believing in ourselves either again or for the first time in our lives. So please believe in yourself because trust me when you start doing that everything changes, the way you look at things, the way you find solutions to issues and you find a strength you didn't know or believe you could find.
